Hmm so I hadn't talked abt my relationship till now but I think unless I start sharing abt that I'll just suffocate and no matter how many shows I watch it won't be enough. And its just making me sabotage my mental state and career.
I think my relation will end now. We have been together for 6 years now, for most of the time we were in long distance, it been already 10 months seen we last met. Apparantly distance was never an issue but we hav been through so much together and now I feel we have completely grown apart and are on different pages in life. We are just two very different people it seems. And d more we try the worse it gets.
Feeling really lonely with no one to connect with in personal life has made my social anxiety much worse affecting my work way to much. I'm not sure Y even after trying I was never able to meet that one friend with whom I could share everything. I must hav thought a million times what do I lack that I'm never able to make that connection n y do people prefer to be with someone else then with me. Y can't I be someone's person.
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Ava20
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Long distant relationships are hard.
You can find someone. There are seven billion people on earth. It’s just a process
It’s possible your questioning why some won’t wnat you. You can flip it abs be like someone will want me because look at how awesome you are. Right
Thanks for the suggestion but more than a lofe partner or bf I need a friend in life. Like I said above no matter how much I try I always feel outside the group and everytime I feel I'm getting closer to someone that person just goes away. Relationship was keeping me afloat but even while in the relationship I wanted some friends in life, ever since I was a kid I have felt out of the circle.
Honestly. Me too. I do t fit in. Anywhere. So I changed everyrthting my whole life to fit people’s needs. In the end they left my life. And was left with so much more uncomfort. Recently. I reinvented my style. It was due to a mental break again lol. I chopped my hair all off. It had too many broken hairs. I felt it was a symbol of myself.
I cried and then colored it myself. And wow. It’s beautiful. And changed a few clothing articles and donated some clothes too. And wow I feel better. I’m not dressing how my friends wanted me to or my bf. I said fuck off pwople. I’m tired of trying to fit in. In the end I don’t anyways.
People told me. That it is ok not to fit in. Some people don’t wanna be like everyone else they want to be different. Like look at Gaga lol. She is different.
I always wanted to fit in to find that no matter what I did I didn’t fit in
I was also told our parents parenting style is a result of that feeling of not fitting in.
All your words resemble so much with me. Its exactly what I hav been doing I feel. Trying to be whay they all want me to be jist to be accepted by them. And whats the result even I'm just left alone. It would have been so much better if I had put so much effort in myself. Its time I figure out myself like you did.
Your profile says your 26. I’m 37. Everyone tells me love myself.
Sometimes I cut people off because I have such high anxiety.
I feel better about myself being the real me. I like bright colors and somewhat fashionable styles. I like donating excess. I have literally had such shitty people come and go out of my life they all leave a stain on me like a dog pissing on a tree lol.
But then I see god removed these people from my life. I bet if you were to see these old people that come and gone you will see shit came back on them. Or they won’t happier without you.
Not to wish eve bad of course on anyone. It’s some th ing you will realize. They all want us to be their doll. They wanna mold us and dump us when they bored.
I use to have gfs who would drag me everywhere dress me like their Barbie for them to pick me up and fick them while I be like so what am I dispose to do now?? Lol
I lost myself in the noise. Break free from the shackles. You are free. They mentally try and slave us.
I realized they want to control us because ether lack control over their own lives. Oh well.
I became more mad more angry.
You will find someone. Eveyone keeps saying to love yourself. Find yourself and people will come along.
I do know that when we join hobbies or social gathering things like school or work or sports. The people we have shit uncommon with come along and stick for a while.
I’m still trying to figure myself out. But these people here made me realize what my problem was. Well one aspect. I lack love for myself.
All these years giving myself to help them prevail. To realize people were jealous of me. Like why me? I never found myself anything. I know I do shit that needs to be done tho. Lol
Hi Ava. I am currently going through a breakup. It is tough but you get through it and come out so much stronger. Breakups teach you a lot. I was the one who broke up with my boyfriend. It was long distance as well but very toxic relationship.. so I had to do what was best for ME.
Have you broken up with him or are you still together?
I want to tell you what I wish I had known sooner before getting into a relationship with someone. You have to love yourself first! If you don’t love yourself how can you fully be able to love someone else? Be your own person and once you’re satisfied with that then I’m sure your person will come along. Don’t go searching for that special someone. Let them find you. They come when you least expect it. If you’re going through the breakup now begin working on yourself and write a list out of what you learned from the relationship you were in.
I think u r right. I really need to work on myself. I'm not sure if my relation is over or not. Its just in the limbo... but like u said if I do need to focus on myself now or it will be too late to come out of abyss I seem to have fallen into.What u said has really made me think upon it now..
Never let a man take power from u u are strongh all on ur own u don’t need anyone but yourself make u happy that’s the power of self love u need love yourself more listen to inspirational podcast find out who u are within before u even think bout getting anyone else in ur life
You guys are making me think abt something which I never did before. I do need to figure out who I'm first. I'm glad that I decided to share more abt what I'm going through. I hav never tried listening to podcasts, will look into it.
I just had a big argument with him like a min ago I feel so angry from within. Its fucking making my head burst with pain. All I want is sometime to figure out myself but je doesn't get thay for him its d end then. I just need a small break now from the constant arguments and he does not hav d capacity to giv me that. So I just said ok I want to leave and d very next min he says ok I'll delete all apps and never contact back and don't care abt me. This puts me back again in the loop. Hoe the fuck m i supposed to leave him that way , its like he know this n everytime press that button and I again just cannot leave him in thay situation where I know he will get drunk n stop eating for days. He self harms himself but I'm so tired of always keeping him above me and to continue to stuff my feelings over d years is now making me crazy too.
Maybe cause not all relationships are supposed to last long these days people grow and people change if you are apart more than together and don't miss each other it might not be meant to be .I believe things happen for a reason you are probably moving on to bigger and better things and will meet someone more compatible Long distance is very hard to maintain you have to make plans of when the distance will close if it gets to 6 years there is still distance you can't live that way only choice is to move on
It’s just an idea until you practice it. It is essential to love yourself. Years and years ago I read Louise Hayes and for a month I chanted, I love and approve of myself exactly as I am. It felt really stupid and I didn’t believe it. But you don’t have to believe it, you just have to say it. I said it and wrote it a hundreds of times a day. It was such a habit that I eventually woke up saying it. It did change my life. And I’m going to do it again because I have fallen into not liking myself and feeling unloved by anyone else.
I think I'll also read this book, thank you for d suggestion. I really need to start loving myself for who I'm in place of trying to fit in other people's boxes.
I was in a long distance relationship that also lasted about six years. It was a good relationship because it taught me alot of valuable things about being in relationships. Breaking up will hurt but it will also be good fuel for self reflection. You will learn alot more about yourself and what you want from life.
I think we have to beleive there is a right person for us out there. If we dont we will always end up selling ourselves short. Never forget you always deserve a chance at happiness.
I kmow relationships teach us a lot even abt our own personality. I have surely grown up as a person over the last six years. But I have realised that I'm never in the same page as him and we want different things in life.And even before I think abt finding someone I really need to come out of the pit I have fallen into and stop compromising myself. You are right in saying that we r never try happy if we sell ourselves short.
Hi Ava I havent been here for a while and just now read your post i don't know if you are still going through this but I have been through the same thing and situation and im very depressed and just sad ,but your story really touched me and if you over need someone to talk to im here
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I just want to be done! 
I want to just be done
Just wanting to say something.
Anyone want to take a personality test for fun? Questions 5, 6, and 7
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