Im going insane

[Against_the_current]

AghkjjfdfhuhbcgghI can't calm down my damn mind. I write and talk bs and ppl ask me wth im doing and then i randomly remember i have social anxiety too and i say even more bullshit and they stay there waiting for me to explain why did i write/say what i wrote/say.

My mind is racing so bad i want to cry but can't, it's like a browser - 12 windows open, i have some songs on loop, i have imaginary conversations in my head and a lot of people live there and they scream all the time and say things that are funny sometimes and i post them because i don't want to forget them but i have no notesapp anymore and my handwriting is terrifying so i post them but then someone reads them and tells it's inappropriate and i panic and shitpost more and now you will tell me to cut social media but even if it's not social media i will find a way to talk/write bullshit, i can't just throw away my phone, lock myself up, put on a straight jacket and tape my mouth. Nothing can stop me from embarrassing myself because my mind is racing, there are characters there and they're hillarious and insane, now i have a song that i don't even know

[Hidden]

Mind racing can be a side effect of some medications. I was on one of these and wow! I couldn't keep up it was so bad! Does this happen often or is this a new thing? I haven't seen you mention this before.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

It happens since at least like two years. Now i worry if it's from my meds. Im on sertline, levid, pregabalin and Clonasepam but the Clonasepam makes it better. I have had really hard time finding the right meds and now if they make me go insane when actually there are supposed to keep me sane, idk what i will do. Im really sensetive towards medication change. Since my trauma it has been impossible to change meds

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Since it's been so long, it probably isn't the medications then. Have you spoken with your doctor about this?

[Starrlight]

Do you mind if I ask what your diagnosis is? I ask because I have bipolar 1 and the racing overlapping thoughts were an indication that I was starting to have a manic episode. I’m not saying that is what is going on with you but sounds similar to me.

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

It's okay. I have GAD, SAD, depression and C-PTSD. The C-PTSD is making the most damage rn. I hope im not bipolar. My psychiatrist said that the c-ptsd can act and even evolve into borderline. I thought maybe i have adhd or something like that

[SoporRose]

Use a pen and pencil to write down your thoughts. I doesn't matter if your handwriting isn't great. That way you won't forget the things you want to keep and will have time to think about whether it's a good idea to post them.