Log in
Anxiety and Depression Support
30,163 members30,896 posts

Being a depressed extrovert

Ever notice that your needs, when you're depressed, can vary dramatically based on whether you're introverted or extroverted? At least, it seems that way in my household.

I'm an extrovert, so when I'm depressed I seek out company, and attention. I want to talk to people about what's upsetting me, I want to be around people who like and care about me. I want to talk to people on a regular basis.

But everyone around me is an introvert - they all need alone time when upset or depressed.

It makes it hard to get my needs met, you know? I don't want to just call up strangers, because it's very awkward talking about a lot of this stuff for the first time and it's a crapshoot on whether any given person will understand, even more so when I can't pinpoint precisely what's wrong. Sometimes, I just need company, online or better yet in person.... yet I can feel everyone (understandably) getting more and more exhausted by keeping me company.

I can't even post about it most places, because if I go on social media it'll get back to them and make them feel like crap. It's just. Hard and depressing.

11 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi! I'm like that too. I'm looking for a company when I'm depressed and wanna be around people. I just need to talk to somebody when I feel depressed. You're not alone!

Reply

I'm glad to know others feel this way, too. <3

Reply

Well then talk to me. I will listen to anything you have to say. I don't know exactly what's wrong with me either. I don't take meds and I use natural supplements to treat myself. Unfortunately I can't afford all of the supplements I need. But, I am patient, kind and empathic. I also seek out friends when I am upset and I suffer from some of the same treatment as you. You can pm me as long as you need. I'm usually around 11am to 11 pm. I think we could both probably help one another. You have a family here. Weve all got to stand up for and help one another. I look forward to hearing from you at your leisure! A kazillion vibes of peace, tranquility and happiness for you....

Reply

Medicine has honestly helped me a lot, but. I'm still depressed and anxious, just better than baseline. I'm working on taking it more consistently and maybe next month I'll try an upgrade in dosage.

Reply

That's good. I'm really happy it's helping you. But, there is so much more we could talk about that might be helpful. I read your response to Mira too. You're right, don't rely on anyone person that's not you. But, I'm always here for you if you need an ear or a strong shoulder.

Reply

I used to be like this , i keep looking for family members or friends when i’m sad , but no one seems to listen even if they do they’re here one time and 10 times not or sometimes judgmental, the only answer which I’ve been doing and it seems to be better for me , is to keep your shit and your emotions your talking all to yourself live your sadness and express it to yourself only , write a diary or talk about whatever is bothering you in your own account on WhatsApp or any other app you use, as long as you only show it to you and not anyone, it will definitely pass and you’ll feel better , and as soon as that happens you will be proud for not needing anyone, because honestly from what i’ve lived no one is willing to take your shit , no matter what people say they only care for the best of themselves so its much better to be strong and independent and not in need for other people when feeling low

Reply

Wish you the best 💙

Mira

Reply

Thanks! I have good people who will listen to me, though - they just. Get tired of always being asked to listen to me. :/ So I'm working on buiding out my social circles and not relying too much on any one person who isn't me. :/ Or. I need to work on that, anyway.

Reply

We are here for support and to listen - talk to us!

Reply

I don't think it's unusual for people with hidden illnesses to be misunderstood and feel alone in general. As you're an extrovert, people probably can't imagine that you feel depressed but it's because they don't understand, not that they don't care.

Have you thought about going to classes to learn something new or improve on something you already enjoy? That way you could meet like minded people with similar interests and engage with them socially whilst doing something fun. If you want to get the endorphins flowing, how about dancing, aerobics or aqua aerobics? Or if you prefer something more creative, maybe pottery, painting or baking? If you want an excuse to converse with people and challenge yourself mentally, learning a new language could be for you.

Think outside the box, because your depression is not what you might expect, the best form of therapy might be a little unconventional also x

Reply

I know they care - it's just that, as introverts, they handle their depression very differently than me and have very different needs. Including the need to be left alone, while I constantly need to be around people.

Reply

You may also like...