It Ended but i don't feel like it did

[Against_the_current]

I was talking about this in my last post. I can't even write it good now because i was crying all day. It kinda Ended, and in a miserable way - i asked why did he deliete a message, that was to cutest thing he texted me resently, and he said he wanted to copy paste it so he could use it in other chats. Then i got no answer what other chats. But for sure i won't be getting cute messages ever again. But i don't feel like it Ended probably, no appreciation of everything i did, like it was nothing, like that isn't the same person that spammed me cute things. Now is cold and will be. No goodbye, nothing. I feel like i was a joke. It's just so cruel to use someone's pain for your advantage and just leave them like nothing happened and like you didn't sweared you loved them months ago when i had my defences. I was Overthinking. Yes, i am because he humiliated me and made me make a fool of myself. Didn't understand i'm going through hell. And he was Overthinking more and never told me why and i was always pathient with it. But i don't feel like i was setten free but i won't get anything again. I don't feel like it Ended right. It's like a ghost that hasn't been burried right and killed in too cruel way. But i can't, nor have i energy to talk again nor he would understand. I need rest and nobody saw it. And then why i'm acting the way i am. And i'm so pathient with their struggles, i embarassed and humiliated myself. I gave all my diginity. It's like you gave drugs to a person that's really against drugs and then took them. I just needed help. And i got more pain. I probably Type bullshit but i have been crying for hours and i have been battling for months with no vacay, no credit, no recognition. I couldn't even prepare myself a meal. And yet how am i supposed to think right

Btw special Thanks to someone here that is with me through this nightmare. Thanks to everyone helping because as i say it's so hard to find proper help

[Agora1]

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. Nothing I could say to youwould help very much right now. Only Time has a way in making

you whole again. Believe in that xx

[Against_the_current in reply to Agora1]

Thanks, i hope

[cherryblossomm]

I am going through a breakup right now too and its been almost 2 weeks. He broke up with me on thanksgiving because he wasn't "happy" but I told him it takes time and happiness doesn't just come to everyone easily. We both have had a bad year, his mom passed away not too long ago and our relationship never recovered. He made me feel like I did everything wrong but in reality I let the stuff he did to me slide because he was grieving. I feel like a monster sometimes but now I just don't try to text him because I know he is hanging out with other girls already and not caring about me at all. He was the only person I could talk to for almost a year and a half and he acts like I was the worst person ever for trying to help him with his mental health and be the light in his life. I thought we were going to be forever, and now I can't stop having panic attacks and anxiety because of the way he has treated me. I make myself sick night after night and just want the relief to happen already. I can't even leave my house and had to call into work this week because I had to go to the ER. This stuff sucks but I know it will get better with time. I finally have a chance to work on my own self happiness and that is my main motivation to be better from this. It has taught me a lot about my self worth and I was blindsided completely because I just thought we would be together forever. Things like this happen and even tho it is painful now, it won't be forever. Someone out there will treat you better, be your knight in shining armor and at first you won't want to except it, but they will be there. It takes time, its okay. Just breathe

[Against_the_current in reply to cherryblossomm]

Thank you so much, cherryblossom. Your story is really similar and it's actually relieving to know i'm not alone and at the same time it's sad ofc. We were so humiliated, we tried our best to support their mental health and they destroyed ours. And same 1year and a half. But i guess it's better that way. I hope i manage to break up completely

[cherryblossomm in reply to Against_the_current]

Realizing that if they wanted to put in effort then they would have is what is helping me the most. I'm still trying to be friends with him ofc but its difficult because he is able to go out and hangout with people to cope and I need to just handle the emotions as they come to fully be okay with myself. Totally normal in my opinion. I needed to work on myself way before trying to learn to love. Its tough but we will get through it. Days of not being able to eat or stop crying will pass and you will be able to pick yourself back up. At the end of the day all you really have is yourself, you have to be okay internally first before you can help someone through their sh**. I pray we both recover from this with time and mental health practices. ❤️

[Against_the_current in reply to cherryblossomm]

Yeah. For me it's really painful to think about it, i constantly ask why isn't it important to him, it used to be. Everyone tells me this, that he didn't love me to do this but it hurts more. I just want to cry and i can't do anything and nobody understands

[cherryblossomm in reply to Against_the_current]

sometimes people don't want to work for a relationship. They take the easy way out of things and don't put in effort. If it helps, try thinking about it like "he didn't love me because he has his own issues, and those aren't under my control and no longer my problem" instead of asking why. because when you start to think of it as "its no longer in my control" you will begin to heal and move on. Personally I don't see myself getting into a new relationship for a very very long time and I'm perfectly fine being alone and getting to know myself and start on my self love. I know its a cheesy saying but everything really does happen for a reason, and you will be better off in the long run I promise. You will realize it someday. I feel like no one understands my situation either and its a trigger for my panic attacks when someone does, so I ignore it while trying to get through it at the same time. I do a lot of self reflecting and its very enlightening for me and it helps a lot with my self confidence

[Against_the_current in reply to cherryblossomm]

Thanks. I prefered to be alone and i have been alone my whole life but since he gave me a taste i can't stand it. Like i have always knew drugs are bad for me and have never tried but he gave me drugs and took them from me before i'm even finished and i see the other people doing drugs(metaphor). I need more, i need more, i feel undone. And when i see everyone with relationships i go insane. I'm so depressed. If i'm left alone, i will burst crying. I need attention and affection. I'm so mad at myself that i started. My self-esteem is suffering. I feel like boys don't like me. And everyone saying "boys are like that" and "he didn't loved you" makes it worse. I knew, i always knew i'm too unstable to have a relationship but i was so stupid to be temped. But hearing it's not because of me helps, he had issues

[Salma2289]

I can say I totally feel every single word you wrote, like you are describing what was going inside me. I am so sorry for all that you are in. And I know how hard it’s on you. I was in the same dark place one month ago, and I never even think I would stop crying or standing again. But my dear you will do stand again, but you need to live your lose, your grief. Give it it’s all time, cry and express whatever you feel. Then let it all go. I know how many questions you have in your mind and it’s really so hard but you will pass it even without caring to get the answers. You are brave and you have the strength within you to stand up and continue. I will put a link to my previous post I put time ago, and you will find a very helpful replies that were to me, hope it will be for you as wellI am here for you and so do we all

Please take care and be fine

You deserve better, you do deserve better

[Against_the_current in reply to Salma2289]

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear exactly this

[Salma2289 in reply to Against_the_current]

You are always welcome my dear ❤️❤️

[Salma2289]

healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

[Sabbath1]

Some guys are just dbags. Some hide it better and others are open about it. In disgusting how many guys will mess with girls minds, hearts snd not care at all just as llong as they get what they want out of it. Then they go away. Not caring how it affects the person. And ay it's not just exclusive to guys doing that but seems more so to go that way. Sorry to all of you who have had that similar experience.

[Against_the_current in reply to Sabbath1]

Yeah

[Starrlight]

❤️

[Starrlight]

How are you doing today?

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

So miserable. I got back home and mom and sis are so stressed. Everything is so heavy

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

I’m so sorry. What are they stressed about? I’m trying to think of things that would make things lighter- light some candles or burn incense, let fresh are in, go for a nature walk. Watch a funny show.

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

That's how i'm surving. They're always avalanched in troubles - work, school, waking up from them arguing...

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

(((((((((((((( Glonk)))))))))) ❤️❤️❤️