Hello I'm new to the group. I been searching for days to find a place I can actually fit in hopefully this would be that place. I'm 49 and live a basic life. Definitely face all the stress and struggles that come with it . I try and maintain the best I possibly can. Just got over dealing with alot of family issues, that my daughter and her baby's dad was going through which landed me to care full time for my grandson, alot of court and people and most of all judgments. I did get through it though I still feel as if I'm carrying weight. Got myself back to a place where I was trying to normalize again . So I work ,go home care for my 5 year old grandson and so it all over again the next day. Day by day right ? Wwll tragedy struck on November 9th I was leaveing work as I sid for the past 8 years same time same route. This hit different I stopped at a red light to wait to turn left got a green arrow to go proceeded to turn and a woman I take it wwnt into the street where then my vehicle struck her. I didn't see her sont know where see came from and honestly don't know how this was wvwn possible. Therecwas a crossing guard on scene who stated I had the right away and she was in the street . Shecwas in critical condition 2wks ago today family took her off life support and though I know this was a tragic and most devastating accident I cant get over the guilt , the overthinking trying to ask my self how and why this happened. I can't process it and I'm an emotional wreck . I never in my life felt this way please is there any advice, my doctor wants me to talk with a therapist I can't sleep and it eating me alive!
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awfully sorry to hear this such a shame and tragedy hopefully being here helps but please remember accidents do happen sadly and I know only to well plus I`ve been run over twice but only one an accident.
I totally am aware accidents happen and the worst is when your involved of what did happen. This is the most devastating thing that someone can deal with knowing I'm okay and some didn't make it . The worst is the guilt I feel cause there was nothing I could of or did to prevent this tragedy. I never in my life been in a motor vehicle accident nor had any traffic violation in over 20 years . The worse is when you think something like this won't happen to you ....and it can I'm proof thank you for reaching back to me
Hi do you ever feel like life is out there to test us? I know harsh test. I can’t imagine what it’s like. I’ve been involved in 2 minor vehicle accidents. It wasn’t your fault, she stood out at the wrong time & shouldn’t be on the road. We all take chances, she did. Don’t torture yourself. You’re already doing a lot for your daughter. Turn & use all that energy to concentrate on your grandson & yourself. Hope you find peace.
Omg thank you so much for the kinds words and I am feeling everything you said. Life is definitely a test of something weather it be faith , lesson learned , direction all the above.
My husband was involved in a fatal car accident 10 years ago. He was the driver who killed a pedestrian. He was coming home from work one night about 8 o’clock. It was dark with little light on the road. The speed limit was 55 mph. Out of the darkness, came a face in his windshield. A homeless man was crossing the road and stepped off the median into traffic.
It was a tragic accident. The police absolved him of responsibility. But he still lives with that today. It took a lot of work for him to accept the event. And to forgive himself.
Therapy is probably a good idea. It’s a monumental experience. PTSD. I’m still afraid to drive at night. For fear someone will step in front of the car. And I wasn’t even involved in the accident.
Please get the help you need.
Thanks for the feedback I definitely feel therapy is the best option right now .
Yes. I agree. Good luck.
If the person you hit was jaywalking, there is no way you are responsible. I know it dents your confidence, but keep on trucking.
Absolutely no guilt attaches to you for this incident. Talking to a therapist can help, but also your brain needs to accept you were not at fault.
Hope you are feeling better soon.
Cheers, Midori
All I know I stopped at a red light to turn left at a 5 way intersection I looked up got a green arrow to go I turned proceeded to go and heard the impact and felt my car basically roll over something. I jumped out and sewn it was a person I hit. There was a active crossing guard on seen who said the driver had the green arrow to go and the woman was already in the middle of street me I cant tell you where she came from I didn't see her but she definitely was not in the criss wall and had to walk across the oncoming lane to get to where I was turning.
And thank you so so much
Being absolved of any legal responsibility didn't help you, did it?
The crossing Guard that was a direct witness testifying that you weren't responsible didn't help, did it?
The fact that you are a proven good person due to your taking on the responsibility of raising your grandson didn't help either, did it?
You are obviously a kind and good person. Nothing can change the fact you were directly involved in causing another person to die. Since you can't go back in time and change the event, you must accept it to move forward.
What we have done in the past does not define 'who' we are. What we 'do' today determines who we are.
I also had a tragic event in the past that caused me great pain. It still does. To live with my pain, I found a way to save lives. The solace I gain gives me peace of mind.
I hope that you find that 'something' that gives you the solace you need.
Thank you so much ! Your absolutely right! I've been thinking about raising awareness cause where the event took place is a high traffic area pedestrians and motor vehicles. I obviously have to be in this area every day due to me working there and even now (with my awareness on 1000) people are still walking out in the street ,between cars ,racing against traffic and not realizing actually how dangerous this is . Even me before thus it was happening and I'd stop and say hey get out the street ,watch what your doing....but honestly this changed the game !!! And a person can not stand up to a truck and it's weight . Also if you think it can't happen to you it can. I'm being haunted with the how,where and why !!! How this happen ? Where did she come from ? And WHY
You probably could worry about the question till the end of your days, but what you need to do right now, is FORGIVE YOURSELF.
You have been proven to have nothing to reproach yourself for. Be kind to YOU.
Cheers, Midori
Take your doctor's advice. Guilt can eat you up. Many years ago I was in a car with my then boyfriend and a child ran out in front of the car. So little we almost couldn't see him and with no warning. After treatment the child diagnosed with catastrophic brain injury. I have never forgotten about him although I don't think about it every day. Hopefully you can forgive yourself for something that you could not have knowingly avoided. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you!!! For the insight.I'm in the process of trying to forgive myself and remove the guilt that's eating me from this situation that was totally a tragic accident it just hits home cause someone lost their life and I'm here to try and live with it. But sometimes people don't think of the the others person's trauma especially cause I'm here and uninjured
Also research "surviver guilt". Understanding that concept might help too.
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