I'm new to this site as of this morning. I am searching for ways to defeat my depression. I am uninsured until January., however it's been a difficult road for me during the last few months or longer. I recently evicted my daughter and grandson out of the house for good reasons. I have been very depressed because I have lost contact with my grandson due to my decision to put my daughter out. I knew that my decision to do this would be risky in losing all contact with him. The problem was my daughter and to be honest I lost totaled control of my household years ago. I was denial of what was truly happening before my eyes. My daughter is bi polar and depressed, she has been on different medications for years. She gave birth to a son at 14 years old. Her son was born with a severe heart defect which require him to undergo 3 open heart surgeries before the age of 2. With her being a minor I had to make many changes in my life to care for both of them. I was present during all 3 of his surgeries. They lived with me of course and I enjoyed my grandson for 8 years until a few months ago I put them out. I have been crying a lot, because I missed my grandson. This situation was very ugly and it was unfortunate that my grandson witnessed this as well as his mother negative behavior towards me. He also picked up on that behavior towards me as well, which felt like a dagger to my heart. My grandson loves his nana so much we had a strong relationship. Unfortunately my daughter has turned him against me and telling him negative things about his nana. He knows that I put him out too and it did not go well with him. I tried reaching out to my daughter twice but received such a negative response and was told to leave her and her son alone.
So I now realized that my life must go on and hope that when he gets older he will search for me. I would like to tell him that his nana has never stopped loving him and that whatever his mom told him there is always two sides of the story and allow me to share my side.
I just signed up at a gym, so I go 3 days a week. I want to do what I can to alleviate my depression and these crying spells when I often think about my grandson. We have been together since birth so this separation is still fresh and very difficult to deal with.
I have a support system with my boyfriend, his family and my family but it's still a challenging road to travel with no left or right turn just a straight road for now.