Trigger WarningI 'm not suicidal but I feel like jumping in front of a freight train I mean today has been really hard and I'm really really struggling I've been thinking of it all day long but I know I can't do anything but I feel horrible and I feel like my work is causing all this trouble for me constant harassment by police department I just feel like being in front of a train but I know I can't do anything so I feel horrible and see my therapists tomorrow I know my agency wants me out but I'm really struggling but I won't do anything I can't I can't be suicide teach my religion I just feel like there's no relief in sight and I can't go to a crisis center either because as soon as my work finds out I'm out of there I'm sorry for upsetting anybody here
Very hard day: Trigger WarningI 'm not... - Anxiety and Depre...
Very hard day
This is a very stressful time of year for a lot of people because of the holiday season. Pace yourself and just do the best you can.
Thank you, Googoo. I've actually been feeling this way the past several months but it's gotten worse I almost called the hotline tonight
Sometimes because of this particular time a lot of things that have already been stressful can come together and become like a snowball turning into an avalanche. Maybe you should see if you could see a therapist. Can’t hurt.
please don’t feel ashamed. Please call 988. They R very compassionate and understanding. I’ve never had suicidal ideations, but on a rare occasion when I couldn’t contact my other hotlines, I would talk to them for a few minutes. They R there for crisis intervention as well. U can also try to contact your local
NAMI. They have supportive peer mentors for mental health issues. I’m here 4 U.
Hugs 🤗 Shnookie 😎💪🙏
Hi Shnookie. Thank you for the good suggestions. I'm actually found the hotline is pretty good too I've been calling them on a weekly basis and it's helped me out a lot and I've also gone online to Nami and I attended a group in Nami locally but I'm going to another group that's about couple of hours away online and see if that would help me more too but I just wanted to thank you for the good suggestions and I hope you're doing well too just wanted to give you a warm hug back thank you and I'm here for you too🤗🤗🥰🥰
thank you for your good wishes. Happy that U R being proactive and doing
self-care.
pls don’t apologize for feeling the way you feel! I’m glad you’re seeking help and Maybe you can seek a lawyer for the police department situation.
Good luck
Hi Curry, I'll have to wait until retirement until I'm 56 years old at the end of February plus 6 months I'm not sure how I'm going to do it because every day seems like a struggle and it's just like things have gotten worse and escalated I don't know what to do anymore thank you
Thinking of you. So sorry you are battling with this but you are not alone. I'm wrapped in anxiety tonight also. But you know there are good days to be had also. Please hang in there, good vibes being sent your way ❤️❄️💖
Hi Trauma, thank you I just wanted to send you some good vibes, too. I hope you're anxiety gets better too
Thank you so much for your well wishes. It means a lot and I'm grateful to have your support on my journey ❤️
You are welcome
I'm here for you also if you ever need to talk🤗🤗🤗
Never apologize for your feelings. One thing I've always recognized is that no matter what we feel, they're valid. This is both the "happiest time of the year" but also the most stressful. I'm having a bad time, too, especially tonight. Maybe try to take some time to slow down; when all these thoughts rush in your head it can be overwhelming. I find when I take a few minutes to slow down - do something that's enjoyable for a few minutes to distract myself - I can take a closer and calmer look into what's bothering me and solutions. I know it's a daily battle, but things get better. Life is like a rollercoaster with ups and downs and we have to learn how to deal with the ups and downs, unfortunately. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Definitely sending you all the hope, love and strength I have your way.
Thank you, Llg. I was told by my old therapist before that the thoughts that I feel go away within like an hour or two the hardest part is that it keeps coming back when something triggers it I just want to say thank you for your positive words and feedback I appreciate it thank you for sending your prayers to me. I will keep you in my prayers I wish you the very best🤗
Gigi
You sweet person. You have been dealing with so much for quite some time.
I'm concerned about you. Are you safe right now or should you call for medical assistance? Please don't hurt yourself.
Sending you love and a big hug,
❤️🐬
Hi Dolohin, Im ok. Thank you for everything. I promise you I wont seeing the therapist today.Thank you for your love and support, Gigi love and hugs to you🤗🤗🤗💕💕💕💕
I feel your pain!
What I’ve discovered when I feel like that is if you constantly ruminate over and over about different thoughts it’s going to bring you down.
When I do that I try to journal my thoughts and get to the heart of the matter and pinpoint what thoughts are being consumed.
I don’t know that’s just what works for me.
Praying for you
I started drawing pictures. I'll try not to start thinking over and over about it but it's just like I don't know how to stop it but thank you for your prayers I will be praying for you too sending you warm hugs Gg
Hi GG.
I'm so sorry ur having an awful day & I do wish U a speedy recovery & I'm very happy that like me , even if U do feel suicidal U won't do it & that's a very good way of starting to deal with the emotions that are messing about .
It will take time but U need to work on U & urself for U first of all & then loved ones & then whatever or whoever U wish.
Now work , sit down with a writing pad & pen & write out all the pro's & cons about work & be brutally honest about it , 2 cons are money & mental health . If U love the job then things may be leeching into ur work life & even when we think others have it in for us , our issues can sabotage what & how we work. So please & I mean this in a nice way..... Take a step outside ur own life & examine everything & be honest with U , I don't count nor does anyone else , this is ur life & U need to find the correct balance again & it could be just a quick inner tidy up & BOOM ur back to ur brilliant work self.
Also & foremost PLEASE be kind to urself 🙏
Hi Dodge, I used to like doing the job before the things have escalated and gotten worse over the last 12 years or 15 years and I feel like my lifes quality has gone down because of the workplace. I think I will write the pros and cons of the job that sounds like a really good idea it's just like I don't know what to do anymore I know I have like I mean every week seems to be like such a stress I mean February and the end of February is when I turn 56 but ihave to work six more months before i can retire. And the job is putting more stress on me and my mental health wasn't good to begin with and it's gone down for the past two years and I've been struggling with severe depression for the last 15 years its just like it's actually got worse I don't know what to do anymore it's just that sometimes I only see one escape and it's a real negative dark one but like keep thinking about it on a daily basis whenever things go bad but I know I have to quit that thank you for the suggestions you made me they're really good and I'm going to try them too I hope you're doing well your friend Gigi
Maybe they do want U to leave due to U nearly retiring BUT don't allow them yo force U out if U don't want them to leave. Keep a diary maybe each time they try to be nasty to U & then ask for a meeting to talk things out. How long before U retire ?
Thank you, Dodge. The end August of next year. I dont know how im going to do it. Cant talk anything out with them. I was supposed to mandatory telework for 3 months from November of this year until February 13th of next year but she denied it it's actually against the law that there's nothing I can do about it she said that I can't manage where you tell her because of my job and it's because of the guy that I work with he doesn't want me to telework. I know that a lot of people that work there and live here really hate me I'm not sure what to do anymore I feel like I'm stretched to very thin line but my therapist said there's nothing they could really do to you but it just feels like it looks like I'm the at the end of I don't know. I just wanted to thank you for all your good advice that you always give me I really appreciate it and I hope everything's going well for you in the UK wishing you the best Gigi
If U can see out the next 8-9 months then stick it out & ignore & try not to let others try get to U .
BUT if U can't then look at taking retirement a few months early & be at peace or look for something part time OR ask for reduced hours at ur current place. Or even change shifts if ur allowed to just to keep away from the negative butt heads .
Most of all take care of urself please GG
They're making itextremely hard for me right now the guy that I work with right now was my first bully at workplace for 32 years already and he comes in with a bad cold he doesn't cover him massive or anything like that and my boss side with him I have an open ulcer still on my toe right now it feels like my ulcer is getting worse on my toe I had a hard time walking today at work too and I'm finding it really difficult being there now I don't know how I'm going to do anything I just wanted to thank you for being such a good friend to me I really appreciate it take care Dodge sending you warm hugs and peaceful vibes from California love Gg 🥰🥰🤗🤗🤗
Now GG if ur ulcer is preventing U from working then get signed off by ur doctor & hopefully by the time it all heals up , it's time to retire .
Don't allow them to harass U
Hi Dodge, my boss won't take a doctor's excuse I'm actually going to the podiatrist on Wednesday to have them check out my ulcer cuz I think it opened up again or there something wrong with my foot thank you for the good advice. And my coworker he has a really bad cold and he comes into work and he has a bad cough. He lied to my boss yesterday and said he did not have a bad cold she believed him. He doesn't have a mask on and he stays with me all day and I use Lysol and spray it all day but I don't know if it works or not he doesn't care about he's probably hoping that I will get whatever he has he's a pretty cold individual just like the other lady I work with but my boss support him. I called in sick today because my foot was really bothering me I could hardly drive last night or walk .I hope you're and your family are doing well I wish you the very best my dear friend in the UK love Gigi
Say thank you dodge for everything and thank you for being such a good friend to me and I'm here for you also if you ever need to talk
How are you feeling ?
❤️🐬
Hi Dolphin, I'm doing okay I have a therapist appointment today and Wednesdays are usually my alternate work schedule days so I work only from 7:00 to 11:00 in the morning I hope you are doing well too my friend thank you for checking in on me I really appreciate your support and your friendship love Gigi
The picture that I sent you just now said something about true friends but it didn't say the words on the picture I sent you and it said something like I'm glad we're friends
Gigi
Thank you for the lovely picture with beautiful words. That's so kind of you. I'm glad we are friends also 
I hope therapy is helpful today. I'm glad you are doing better
I'm doing well thank you
❤️❤️
I know it's always good to be able to talk to people whenever you're not feeling so well and I know Nami helps out a lot being in the support groups I'm going to check out another support group which is a couple of hours away and one good thing about it it's all free and I will let you know how it goes. One of the issues that I have though is trusting people that I meet and stuff that's not online I find it a lot easier to talk to people online that's talk to them in public. Please take care. Wishing you the very best, Gigi
Thank you it helps out a lot and I'm here for you if you ever feel like talking
Thank you for all your support and you're good advice I really appreciate it I usually watch Asian romance dramas on YouTube and Netflix and read books my therapist has me doing clay therapy s he helped me do a picture collage
I'm currently seeing a therapist on a weekly based. I've been seeing a psychiatrist since 2011 and my psychiatrist is retiring pretty soon and I'm getting kind of stressed about that and actually I have another eight more or nine more months before I can retire because I have to wait until I turn 56 which is in the end of February and then six more minutes I don't know how I'm going to do that.
my psychiatrist will be retiring. I have a really good therapist now
Thank you for being here for me I really appreciate it and I'll be here for you too
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