Recommendations for overcoming social awkwardness

[Ethany]

Speech as always being a nightmare for me when in social setting. My heart just pounds uncontrollably disrupting my body system and when I am to speak at that moment my speech is always disorganized, low and hoarse, it get really awkward and I'll feel like disappearing.I've tried some medications and coping strategies found online but they don't seem to really help

[coolkitty1934]

having someone you are comfortable with is a good idea but if that is not possible then just imagine you are talking to a person you are more comfortable with

[Hidden]

Talking small talk to anyone you meet by being friendly you will get practice and comfortable with talking. Just try to say something or just wait for them to open up. It will become easier here is good place to start

[Arymretep]

I read somewhere to just imagine the person you are talking to is naked , LOL, seriously though. I find asking someone about themselves is a good start , they are then usually so busy talking It gives you time to relax.

[Ethany in reply to Arymretep]

Good idea 👍

[Hidden]

I get that way when I'm around a crush or having to public speak.

The good news is that your body can't stay at that elevated stress level, so eventually you will come down.

I also try to keep in mind that others might be just as nervous as I am about meeting new people.

It might even help to say "Hi, nice to meet you, gosh, I'm so nervous." You can also give a compliment or ask how they're doing ☮️❣️

[Sylvain-]

I have similar difficulties. I tried to avoid them as much as possible, but when forced to attend social events, I was totally mute. And usually end up alone in one corner of the room before discretely leaving.

Interestingly, I don't have many difficulties talking publicly. I explain that because when making a discourse or conducting a course, I play a role. Whereas when talking "privately," I have to be myself, and I do not think I have anything interesting to say, and overall I am not very interesting myself.

[Ethany]

Wish I had that opportunity at a younger age

[MaggieSylvie]

I don't think you are alone, Ethany. You just have to get lots of opportunities to talk to people. There are lots of good tips on here, but remember too, that perhaps you are quite introverted and naturally don't talk much. That's ok until someone asks for your opinion - trying to draw you out of yourself, so look for your opinions - they may be hiding under your "unaccustomed to making speeches". Also, while you may be wondering what people think about you, other people may be having the same thoughts, so be kind to them and perhaps they'll be kind back to you.

[scansnap]

You might also consider doing some relaxation exercises such as meditation or deep breathing before you speak. HelloFolks also had a good suggestion.You can simply explaining to the audience that you uncustomed to public speaking and feel a bit nervous.

[AnonymousUsername13]

I had a counselor suggest to me to go into a grocery store, or any store & force myself to talk to people, just random people with random conversations, like, "hey, great day, huh?" It has to be more than just that 1 sentence, tho, it needs to be a short conversation, so talk about anything, choose something at random in the immediate environment, like "can u believe the lines of these checkout lanes?" I was just supposed to make small talk with new, random people. U will come to understand how people's minds work in these situations, & be much less fearful, but mainly overcome that initial freeze, or bumbling over speech that u mention. Eventually, u will get more comfortable in these situations as u gradually gain confidence & it will get easier. It won't help much with public speaking, but it's more to help with social anxiety or agoraphobia. Of course, there will be some real discomfort at first, but he said if i really wanted to get through this fear, i would have to put myself in uncomfortable situations to overcome it. How bad do i want to overcome, is how he phrased it. He also suggested i watch the pickup artists on YouTube to get an understanding of how people's minds work, especially when immediately meeting someone for the first time (not to actually pick up anyone). I wish i could remember the guy, but I can't remember specifically who he had me watch. Maybe that can help u, too? Best of luck.

[Sylvain-]

Bonjour et merci de votre réponse, liem2013.

I seriously need to practice my spoken English myself. A few years ago, I recorded videos, and I always said I should find someone to rehearse and practice before the recording. But I never did it because I was too ashamed of my accent to speak 1-to-1 with someone. And, while in a group, I am completely mute. At school, I was afraid of the foreign language courses (and had very poor results) because I knew if I opened my mouth, everyone would laugh at me. Writing is much easier for me--even in French!

[scansnap]

I'm glad that it was helpful. Doing even 5 or 10 minutes a day can be beneficial.