Overcoming social anxiety-help

[merriamme]

Hi. This is my first post and visit here. I have alienated myself from everyone now, and my boyfriend really is as lost as me. I don't feel anyone understands how hard anxiety can be. I thought I could overcome it and I try. It feels like a curse. Is there hope of becoming happy and liking myself?

[JJW-Mercury6]

Merriamme, there is ALWAYS hope to get to a better place, and I'm not talking about the hope where you close your eyes and click your heels three times and think really really hard about a better place. I used to get frustrated when people told me to not lose hope or to have faith.... and then nothing.. silence. If it were that easy we wouldn't have issues.

I don't know specifically what you're going thru or why, but there are professionals out there to help you unravel the knots. There are medications (scary word) that don't zombie you out, but get your chemistry in a better place so you don't ride the waves all the way down. There a lots of people who have been where you are so you can KNOW it's possible to move on and get yourself out of it. One thing is (nearly) certain...it's extremely difficult to navigate this solo, so finding, speaking with, sharing with others to figure out what might work in your unique circumstance is very important.

Have you spoken with anyone professional, or thought about doing so?

[merriamme in reply to JJW-Mercury6]

Thank you for your thoughts about this, and I have spoken with many people, only through free health care. So my appointment time is very short, the treatment is a quick-fix clinical approach, and the staff is constantly changing so I repeat what I already know over and over. I am unable to afford quality treatment or help. I am grateful for the people who are trying to help. Its hard to get the feedback I am desperately hoping to know in a situation I can not easily explain to someone to begin with.

[MarjorieJL in reply to merriamme]

So sorry to hear of your difficulty getting someone to listen, don't give up, take baby steps forward

[JJW-Mercury6 in reply to merriamme]

One thing I read which REALLY helped me put some distance between 'me' and when my thoughts wanted to start nose-diving was Jill Bolte Taylor's "My Stroke of Insight". Short version, she has a stroke which shuts down the left side of her brain (source of all the overthinking, worrying about the future, hanging onto the past, etc...). When she exists with only the right side working, she describes it as bliss(?!?). So much so she wasn't sure if she actually wanted recover the left side. When you read it, you realize that you're not 'broke', you're not 'crazy', and there are very real physical reasons for what you're feeling and where it's coming from. It was not only an incredibly interesting story to read, but it helped meme in separating ME from the times that my thoughts wanted to follow a downward path ... I knew what was going on now. It's not a 'cure' obviously, but boy did it help me to realize a lot of things and frankly feel better about myself vs my PTSD!

[Ary_Kally in reply to JJW-Mercury6]

Thanks for writing. It is very interesting and it was as if you showed me something fixed with your finger ... what you wrote drew attention to some states in the sense that I did not understand how it happens suddenly and suddenly I pass by to the state of anger and agony of the mind directly to the state of sensations of calm and well. It is said that the right part of the brain also deals with creativity. Indeed I can now understand how it happens when I draw my mind as if it is empty of ugly and unwanted memories of the past. Yes when I draw I feel calm and happy!

Only unfortunately still rarely draw it.

Does that mean that it would be possible for us to access the order and for a longer or longer times of good doing what we like, what we are passionate about ?!

I apologize for mistakes if they exist ...

[FixingThePineapple]

I'm currently doing the same thing, hiding myself from the world, and it is frustrating. From what I understand about it, social anxiety stems from bad social interactions. Maybe it was one particularly bad (or even just weird) experience or maybe it was a string of bad experiences. To combat this, I'm trying to reach out to people I've deemed as 'safe.' I got back in contact with two of my good friends from grade school and the three of us try to support each other. I also joined this site and try to reach out to people here.

I find it funny that you feel like you're curse as I'm always telling people I must be followed around by a demon who's mission is to ruin my life.

Of course you will find happiness and self-love! For us though it does not come as easy as for others. Just try to take it slowly for now, one day at a time. Try not to imagine the future or worry about the past (easier said than done). Feel welcomed to message me if you want to talk or need anything.

[MarjorieJL]

Yes, but it may only be little steps at a time, look for the positive

[Memphis624]

Hi Merriamme, I'm new to the site too and trying to learn more to help my daughter. Keep asking for help. You deserve it and don't get discouraged. In the meantime, here's two things my daughter's therapist recommended for her that might help you. One, set a daily goal, something that feels like a little bit of a stretch but not overwhelming. Maybe go to the store, or go by yourself, if you usually go with someone. Second, she suggested my daughter keep a gratitude journal. Write one sentence every day and review it each week. It helps give you perspective to see what you have already accomplished. Best wishes!

[lovatic]

I also had social anxiety and it really sucks. I do think there is hope. You just need to hang in there and try your best, and I do think it will get better.