advice/ help

[ElephantsHear]

Im dealing With long-term depression that isn’t responsive to medication or talk therapy. I feel very down on myself. I compare myself to other people or focus on mistakes I made in past relationships. I’m 51 years old, tired/ sleep all the time. recently I went on a dating site and a couple attractive people- a little younger messaged me and asked for a photo. I sent a facial pic, . But I’ve been very depressed lately so I didn’t have make up. One guy didn’t respond and blocked me. The other guy often ignores a text or curt response (he’s not interested). My nose is wider, I have full lips, and my best feature is high cheekbones when I weigh less. I look better in make up. How do I live my life if I have no energy, motivation and feel sad all the time? Thanks for listening. Let me know if you’ve read any goods books on self esteem or living with depression that has helped you. Please. TY.

[VaguelyHere]

I am in a similar situation. I previously slept 12-14 hours a day.

Some things that contributed to changes in that were:

1)switching medications (they don't work much, but it's worse without them)

2)changing my sleeping arrangements. Being closer to a window where the sun comes in can sometimes provide an incentive to get up.

3)setting an alarm, even when I don't have something scheduled to try to get in the habit of a better sleeping pattern

4)changing when and what I eat. Not dieting, just eating less prepackaged food (which is INCREDIBLY difficult for me)

5)more frequent therapy sessions. Again, they don't work much, but I have to keep trying something.

6)trying to investigate root causes like thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, hormone imbalances, inflammation issues etc.

None of these are magic answers, but rotating through different attempts at least feels like I am still trying to make progress towards my goals.

"How do I live my life if I have no energy, motivation and feel sad all the time? "

I don't know. I'm in a very similar spot.

Right now I am trying to figure out if I may have an immune / inflammation issue which could explain the muscle aches/pains, and constant low energy/fatigue

I'm trying to do the "right" things. Looking for work, joining this site as a support group. Trying to get up the energy reserves to start going to the gym. Trying to eat fresh fruits and vegetables.

I feel for your situation with the date. Again, similar situations where interest is limited, and it feels like I am applying for a job. Mainly I try to find people based on shared interests, like books, music, tv, movies etc. It helps weed out the ones who are the worst matches, so at least it keeps my efforts in realistic territory.

I hope things improve for you

[ElephantsHear in reply to VaguelyHere]

Thank you for your help! I’m going to try therapy again. There are many things to be grateful for in my life that I take for granted. Maybe until I get some energy I could try focusing on that. I hope I can PM you in the future. Take care and good luck as well.

[moxond in reply to ElephantsHear]

Sorry to hear about you're Anxiety and depressive thoughts life can be so daunting some times making small changes to habits and realising those negative emotions are key you are worthy of better believe habits and overwhelm low energy or mood swings can drain mind and body maybe changing the daily routine with empowering perceptions thought patterns Positive presence and self achieving motivations help with talking and sharing thoughts with others are good for uplifting self esteem being valued also good routines help with being in the presence be it a nice walk reading tranquillity relaxation listening to meditation can assist mindfulness their are resources available also maybe s good B complex vitamin mineral supplement may help re- vitalise energy well being true their are books available for self esteemed building self worth is good gratitude motivations may help verydailymotivation.site/affirm... good uplifting reading for self doubt hope you recover quickly you can sign up for Daily motivations free resource

[Xene]

My, my there are so many books out there on depression. The one that truly helped me was The Mindful Way Through Depression, freeing yourself from chronic unhappiness. We are all unique and what helps one might not help others. I got the paperback version on Amazon which also came with a meditation cd. I was completely new to depression and found it quite easy to absorb.

Best Wishes

Xene

[ElephantsHear in reply to Xene]

Thank you so much. I’ll look for it.

[Xene in reply to ElephantsHear]

There are also revues on the authors on google which May give you more of an insight.

[gerrerd]

Try centrepiont research Holosynce ! online ! Frequency therapy. plus subliminals. Ray x

[ElephantsHear in reply to gerrerd]

Thanks!

[Audiomarc1]

Hi. I'm sorry about hurting so much and being stuck in anxiety and depression. If meds aren't working and therapy isn't working and your trying but just can't break the state your in...then maybe you might want to consider Ketemine treatment. It's basically for people who are antidepressant resistant. Yes it is prevalent among many people whose meds and therapy do not work. If you can, read up about it and then discuss it with your Dr. I hope everything gets better for you. If you go into Ketemine treatment and it is working for you let us know how it's going. Good luck and feel better.

[ElephantsHear in reply to Audiomarc1]

Thank you for that suggestion! I appreciate your response and well wishes- helps!

[Midori]

Hi EH.

Welcome to the community.

Yesterday is dead and gone. We have today to change things using what we have learned from the past.

We make what we can from today, because it will influence our future, if we make things work today, it will be a little easier tomorrow, the next day and onwards.

Or we can stay in bed and procrastinate, stew over what someone has said online, and feel sorry for ourselves, This way, nothing changes.

But, you are Not Other People, you are You. You have nothing to feel ashamed over, and nearly all dating sites have nasty, slimy people who love to pull down those with little self-confidence. Don't go on Dating sites!

I have been where you are, but I couldn't neglect my children, I had to keep going for them. It isn't easy, but, needs must. 31 years ago, when the kids were still too young for school, I was married to an extremely abusive man. In every possible way, he would attempt to pull me down, (I was a terrible nurse, a lousy mother, a bad housekeeper, rotten cook, etc.) He had moved us away from family and friends and isolated me, and attempted to make me unemployable, because the hospital didn't like their nurses coming into work with black eyes.

Eventually I took the kids and ran to a refuge (Few and far between in 1991) who moved us to another part of the country for our own protection. I started divorce proceedings and gained a restraining order with power of arrest.

I needed to pick up clothes from the house, but found his car outside; I called the police who came to escort me in case of trouble. When we gained entrance (by breaking a window). they found him dead in bed. My clothes were shredded.

It got messy later, there's much more to it.

It put me into depression, anxiety and PTSD. and there were days when I didn't want to haul my tush out of the pit to get the kids to playgroup and school, do the laundry, shower or anything.

I found though, by making myself do things, it helped me start to recover Me. So, starting to function again, I started the Doctor/Psychologist route, with a side order of Hypnotherapy.

After a year or so, I'd pretty much exhausted that. I was finding it difficult to trust many folk, especially male Psychs.

One morning, I woke up and had the constant clucking of the Voice telling me I wasn't good enough and thought 'Enough!' I lost my temper at it and told it to get the heck out of my head and not to come back, but far less politely, in fact I cussed like a sailor! And I had a few peaceful days! Then it tried to come back, so I told it to Go Forth and Multiply, and again. peace for a week. I repeated this a few more times, and now it hasn't come back for several years. Still have remnants of the PTSD though.

All this wall of text is to try to show you that you can get well with minimal interference from the Medical Fraternity, and haul yourself out of the Pit.

All your tomorrows beckon, and the future is yours, but you need to meet it half way, in much the way I did. There's nothing wrong with cussing yourself out when you are feeling down, give yourself a talking to in order to motivate yourself, then get out and do something.

There are plenty of things out there, volunteering is a good one, there must be places who can help you regain your confidence.

Try your library, see what's on their notice boards, I've found some good things to do from them. Restart an old hobby, try something like Tai Chi.

I hope this might help to get you started, I was 43 when my husband suicided. I'm now 74.

Cheers, Midori.

[primrose81 in reply to Midori]

Wow Midori you are amazing - such positivity after so many traumas. I salute you

[Midori]

That which doesn't kill you makes you strong! Physically, I'm losing but I've become a stubborn old bat , and will stand up and call them out!

Cheers, M