Trying to help

[Phillyman]

A guy asked me to move him. In other words he asked me to help pack his things. Unfortunately it did not go smoothly. I came home and he wrote me this letter on the email

“I have mixed feelings. On the one hand I do want to thank you for everything you did this weekend especially because my back is in a very bad state.

On the other hand, working with you this weekend has been a confoundingly frustrating and extremely aggravating experience.

I appreciate your offer to help it was very gracious of you. However if I look at the number of items that got damaged or missing or lost, this weekend was a wash.

Unfortunately I have to compare with the experience of Saturday with my cousin. He and I were able to move every heavy piece of furniture with the exception of three tables my desk and the air mattress.

Several times I have to repeat myself to you and when I ask you a question you act like you never heard that word before. You told me at 7 o’clock in the morning that the kitchen was all done and then when I asked you if you went into the cabinets, you acted shocked as if no one ever put groceries in their cabinets!!!

You tell me you need to be micromanaged because you’re working on stuff you’ve never done before. And I am totally shocked to hear that.

We had planned months ago for you to come out with me to Columbus. The reason I had asked you to do that is so that I have a spotter said I wasn’t driving eight hours after packing everything up and getting sick or falling asleep or being overly tired. I am disappointed that you decide to change your mind Willie Nelly at the last minute. You could’ve told me at anytime in the last two months hey John I’d love to go out to Columbus but I’m not gonna have time to or if we leave we have to leave by this time etc. nothing at all was explained like that so I’m not pissed off I am really disappointed.

Also, when you left you left all your fucking garbage here in the apartment - do you not think? I’m trying to ensure that the apartment is as cleaned up as well as I can do in the timeframe that I have so I come back here to the apartment and I see bags of food garbage left in the apartment. This is the issue I have that if you’re gonna come over here you’re going to help I appreciate the help but you don’t help in one aspect and become a hindrance in other aspects.

So this is a bittersweet message. I certainly appreciate all the time and effort and help you provided but my tolerance is a shot and I am burned out after two days.

My back being all fucked up certainly didn’t help matters either.

[Hidden]

What an odd message. It’s like he is saying thank you and f*** you all at the same time.

[Phillyman in reply to Hidden]

What about sums it up

[Hidden]

I believe he is quite narcissistic and self-involved. I would forget him and move on...who needs to be put under the microscope in such a manner? Not me and probably not you either! It would have been best for him to simply say, “thank you.” Forget about the correspondence and see the humor in it all! Wishing you peace of mind 🌷🙂🌷

[weegmack in reply to Hidden]

I totally agree with you. He sounds like a really horrible person to me!

Phillyman, you helped him and did your best. You don’t need this kind of a toxic, negative guy in your life. I know you must be so upset and thinking this email over and over. But it’s not worth it. I can’t really put on here what I think about this guy.....x

[Phillyman in reply to weegmack]

Thank you very much. Today been a much better day where I just confided in real friends and relax drink coffee and eat food. I’m now going to my AA meeting😁

[Phillyman in reply to Hidden]

Yes and ironic thing is I met him at a self-help group for people who were victimized by narcissist. With the help of people like yourself I’m getting over it and I look back on it as an adventure

[weegmack in reply to Phillyman]

Oh wow that is ironic indeed. You’re a much better person than him. I’m glad today has been better and I hope things continue that way. Take care x

[Phillyman in reply to weegmack]

Thank you very much. I realize I probably should’ve been more upfront with him and Portland I’m not gonna put up with it and take over and leave him there but anyway it’s over that matters

[fauxartist in reply to Phillyman]

lesson learned about 'dry drunks'... I've been in recovery for decades... and in the beginning of my business I tried to help out those who were in program...worst mistake I ever made... all I got were whining and complaining from the most ungrateful self involved and revolved people in my life. I tried it for a couple of years and gave up. The one thing about people in recovery is... most are very 'me' oriented. And even though program teaches you gratitude, live and let live, letting go, and to always have a hand out to those in need... bullshit. I did finally get a couple of guys in recovery who worked with me for a good couple of years.... but that was well after I stopped trying to help those that were down and out at the meetings.

[Phillyman in reply to fauxartist]

That very very interesting. I’ve been at work hopefully by six years now I participate in program. I have noticed that certain people sheriff meeting it is all about them. I also love that people that really do the program well. I don’t even know if this dude is in recovery at all. He doesn’t go to meetings he says he doesn’t drink. Blame everything on his ex-wife. I have noticed He is a racist and I am a little bit ashamed of the fact that I was actually friends with a person like that.

[Lizbett]

Ignore it. Sounds like he's sounding off because his back or whatever was hurting. Pity he didn't have the gumption to tell you all this to your face rather than in an email. Being cowardly ... AND ungrateful ... to me at least, is far far worse than anthing you did or did not do. As I suggested, ignore it AND him. Cheers.

[Phillyman in reply to Lizbett]

My plan to ignore him forever. I have real friends that don’t constantly try to correct me in a condescending mode

[b1b1b1]

I agree with the others. He is a total jerk.

[Phillyman in reply to b1b1b1]

Yeah he won’t be hearing from me I just ignore him. I will let the mean side of me come out and tell him to go F himself

[fauxartist]

Narcissistic self centred, self serving prick....and if his cousins did such a better job, why didn't they do all the work for him this time.... I hope you replied with a ; 'F' you and the horse you rode in on, and a bill for all your hours you gave him of your time that he didn't appreciate obviously.... next time, tell him...don't call me and I won't call you......OMG... sounds like my mother. When your dealing with someone like that....first thing is... Don't ... nothing you do is going to make them happy... so don't put yourself in harms way with them... ignore them... This is the kind of person you'd pull from a burning car and they would sue you because you bruised their arm saving their life....

[weegmack in reply to fauxartist]

*applause* xx

[Susan512]

Move on and dont let his letter get to you, he's got issues, your kind for helping and no one is perfect. It seems like it has to be his way or no way at all. He should have hired a mover!

[Phillyman]

Yes and ironic thing is I met him at a self-help group for people who were victimized by narcissist. With the help of people like yourself I’m getting over it and I look back on it as an adventure

[Phillyman]

That very very interesting. I’ve been at work hopefully by six years now I participate in program. I have noticed that certain people sheriff meeting it is all about them. I also love that people that really do the program well. I don’t even know if this dude is in recovery at all. He doesn’t go to meetings he says he doesn’t drink. Blame everything on his ex-wife. I have noticed He is a racist and I am a little bit ashamed of the fact that I was actually friends with a person like that.

[Phillyman]

I just got three separate emails I’ll just for you with this piece of work

From: John

Date: September 4, 2018 at 1:29:04 PM EDT

To: Mark Krull <[e-mail]>

Subject: One tip I forgot...

You don’t pack a dirty dust pan in with clean pots.

I have to rewash all of my pots and dishes because you’re a fucking retard.

The niggers at your work gang up on you because you’re a fucking retard.

You possess ZERO common sense.

Just throwing shit in a box like a fucking baboon demonstrates a lack of empathy. Are you sure that you aren’t a narcissist?

>

[Phillyman]

More insults

Got 3 Insulting emails.

Here is just 1..

NO! I will not respond

To: Mark Krull <[e-mail]>

Subject: Enjoy...

In case you’re thinking I was being unreasonable. I explained to my cousin what happened.

Not everything - that will take time.

Enjoy...

————————————————

My idiot friend killed all of my plants.

I put them in a box so that I could drive with them to Ohio in the front with the dogs!

Unbeknownst to me, that fucking retard sealed the box and threw it in the back of the truck.

Hours later, I asked him where was the box with the plants?

“Oh I know exactly where it is - it’s in the truck.”

DUH!!!

I was like dude are you a fucking retard?

Those plants were in the box so that I could drive with them up to Ohio. They were not to be put in the truck - it’s too fucking hot there!

So then I asked him where in the truck was the box with the plants?

“I don’t know; somewhere in the truck.”

DUH!!!

If you’re packing stuff, how do you not fucking know where you put it?

I start digging through the truck and I find a box underneath several other boxes. These plants are totally crushed, dead, and dying because of the extreme heat in the back of the truck.

That was when I got mad because I spent good money buying those plants and I was able to get them to all grow nicely.

I ended up leaving the fucking plants outside the apartment. Maybe they’ll revive or maybe someone will take them. At the very least they were disposed of.

I’m scared to imagine what what could’ve happened if that fucking retard took care of a dog.

It would be dead within a day. 🐶