Please someone take this pain away

[Joshgw]

I want to live. I really do. I have a wife and 12 year old son I adore. I'm doing all I can. Behavioral Therapy 2 times a week, my psychiatrist once/week. I'll admit I played around with my meds too much looking for answers. I've done ECT, TMS, CBT, DBT. I was recently hospitalized which actually taught me more about myself and what I need.

But I'm in so much pain it is incomprehensible. I'm trying to stay alive for my son, but I don't know if I can do it. It would kill him, ruin his life i know.

It's never ending. It might come and go (or really lessen) but can be so unbearable, like now, what do I do? I need someone or something to take it away.

I know I've posted a lot here lately about this but I don't know what else to do. At least if I'm typing, I'm still alive

Josh

[Sueislove]

Hi I know you are in a lot of pain and I wish I could take that away from you but keep writing here sharing and talking can help a lot ! Hang in there you got this !🙏Maybe take a day or two by yourself and get away I know for me going to the beach for a day or two and walking on the beach is helpful and way over due for me ! Or go for a hike in the woods can also be great help

[Arymretep]

Don’t worry about posting, that’s what this site is for, we’re all here for you 👍😘

[Agora1]

My friend, playing around with your medications can do more harm then goodcoming out of it.

It's not the way to find answers in your state of mind.

Every time you adjust the dose or whatever you are playing with,

your brain chemistry comes down hard on you and may be the reason

you are getting worse.

Please call your psychiatrist and let him know what you are doing

and how you are feeling today.

You sound as if you are on the edge.

We care and we can support you but only you

can save yourself from harm. xx

[Joshgw in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for responding. It was my doctor who did the change, I would never do anything on my own. And I did call him yesterday. I am on the edge and I'm trying.

[Moonira in reply to Joshgw]

Hi Josh. I feel your pain and if I had a magic wand would vanquish it away. When I am hurting badly I force myself to go for a brisk walk, breathing deeply and connect myself to as many things as possible, birds, colors etc...It's funny how I I always feel better somehow , Please don't give up....💫👏💫🌈🦋

[Zyxx in reply to Joshgw]

I agree with Agora. I’m doing the worst I have in 20 years because I changed my dosage. And 20 years ago (the worst year of my life) was also because of medication. Med changes make it so nothing works anymore, you’re just suffering, all the time. I’ve been through a lot but nothing messes you up so much as med changes.

[Zyxx in reply to Joshgw]

And I know everyone means well, but I know that for you, just as for me, things like “go on a walk” do absolutely nothing. People have no idea just how sick it’s possible to be.

[Not_Free]

Please don't give up, Josh. Your life matters. YOU matter. No one can take your pain ... no one can feel your pain ... I know it hurts ... I'm so sorry - but keep going ... for your son!!! He really needs YOU.

[allah1]

I am so very sorry. I understand very well. I was crying a lot today and just feeling so very sensitive to thoughts and feelings and people, like having no skin between myself and the world, feeling so profoundly helpless and hopeless. I feel it very often. I forced myself to leave the house and visit a friend. I feel a lot better right now. There are moments of peace and those moments will keep coming, just got to keep holding on. Remember that song by Crowed House? Keep holding on.

[Tara52]

I am so sorry you are suffering like that. I had major depression for many years and several suicide attempts. Nothing seemed to help much but CBT and prayer. . Our wrong thoughts and misperceptions create our mental torment. We have to make a strong effort to grab hold of our thoughts and resist the lies we are believing. I also had alot of forgiving of myself and others to do in order to begin to experience some freedom. Be encouraged it is possible 🙂. I will pray for you.🙏💗

[Ryanlion]

Hold on take it a day at a time, an hour at a time if necessary. Are you able to cry it is very healing. A reiki treatment could lift your mood for a while, to give you some space. It sounds like you have a good psychiatrist that is trying to help ,they will not give up on you and medication tskes a while. Trust.

[Daveacr1959]

Try the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. It’s best first thing in the morning before you eat. You can do it before meals. It’s deep breathing with a meditative breath hold. Try cool showers a couple times a day. Remember to exhale slow as you lower the temperature. Try 40 minutes of your favorite exercises. Try hanging out with your son, and just being together.

[Tonyhope]

Let me ask you something, what kind of pain are you having?

[Joshgw in reply to Tonyhope]

Depressive and emotional pain, but it does manifest itself physically

[Tonyhope in reply to Joshgw]

What I have learned we have to just let go. Trying to control our emotions while holding on is what's making us feel unreal.

[TrustYourSoul]

"I can almost visualize the clouds rolling into my world and covering the sky. I love that analogy because clouds don't stay in one place. If you can just remind yourself of that, you can weather any storm — that even above the clouds, there is blue sky. You just can't see it."

The Walking Dead star Khary Payton (Ezekiel)

[JULIETstevens]

I don't have an answer for you. All I know is don't give up. You are stronger than that. Do it for yourself. Do it for your son. Set him a good example. We're all going through shit but we can support each other and get through it. Tell me how you are feeling