I can't take the loss and pain anymore.

[Misspell]

I can't believe where I find myself through the pain and loss. Finding my son hanging, losing everything to move back and forth to take care of my mother while I watched her die from cancer. I wish I would have died from mine, but that's not God's plan or the end of my journey. I sit here crying because I've lost everyone and everything. I can not believe how family can do everything to destroy you, and when they get what they want they only give you more pain. I've lost my oldest son from sucide, my mom from cancer, my middle son and grandchildren from the greed and pain they give. My husband of 20 years that did everything for my family and even held my mothers hand while she died. He prayed for that because I was totally destroyed from finding my son. After everything they even took my husband away from me, they wouldn't stop until he was gone. I'm trapped in a nightmare that I wish I would not wake up from so I wouldn't have to live this pain anymore. There is so much more and I can't believe it myself. I lost the only person who truly loved me more than my so called family. I'm so tired and I wish for just a little happiness in this life time. I have received more love from strangers than my own family. I have nothing left and I have only my youngest son as family. He's the only thing good left in this life. I have nothing left of my heart and soul. Those that have totally destroyed me will not stop until I'm no longer alive. Thank you for listening to my pain. I pray God has a purpose for this journey I must travel.

[Hidden]

I cannot even imagine..wow I am so sorry. I wish I could just give you a big hug right now! Please know you’re not alone, there are people who care about you and sometimes that’s hard to see when you feel that way. You will find happiness again. God takes care of all of us. I will keep you in my prayers. You’re so strong and i’m glad youre still here ❤️ Sending you peace and love

[Misspell in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much❤

[Hidden in reply to Misspell]

Keep on pushing through! You got this. You are amazing!

[mydogs]

So so sorry for all you have had to endure,I send you my love and heartfelt Prayers x

[Misspell in reply to mydogs]

thank you❤

[Jfb007]

I’m sorry for the people that hurt you & I’m sorry that sickness and selfishness put you in a dark cloud. My mom suicide herself and threw herself from a 6th flood when we lived. She always told me that I was a disgraceful and that I did not love her... that was not true. But you know what, that made me strong and made me realize that we already live in hell and we can let evil consume you. I have grown since then and made me love my daughter even more and life for myself. Love yourself and forget others; peace of mind is more powerful than hate. We love you were even if we don’t know each other. And always remember family my be blood related but not necessarily family. Loves and hugs! You will get throw this! I’m were! Xoxoxo

[Misspell in reply to Jfb007]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for your kind words. I need to continue to fight through the depression and loss.❤

[Ambien1711]

You were given the pain and loss.....because you ARE STRONG ENOUGH to handle it. I have been through intense trauma and grief and I cannot even believe some of the things that have happened to me. I've lost my dad to cancer, my best friend to murder and other friends through illnesses. I was severely psychologically, mentally, spiritual, sexually and physically abused as a child. Raised in Ritual Cult Abuse. I'm here to tell you that it is AMAZING what you can make it through. Please work on finding some coping mechanisms. YOU CAN COPE. Coping can help you to live your life more productively and juts get through each day. Stop looking at how you are going to get through all this for the next 20 yrs. Just take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Do not relive the bad memories. I am so sorry for your loss, but try to realize that now your son is no longer in pain and he is in a better place and you will see him again. I see that you are recognizing what is still good in your life. Good for you. Maybe keep a gratitude journal? Family can be so cruel sometimes. I am the black sheep of mine, have you ever though about maybe you are too? You are right that God is not finished with you. Look around and see what good you can do for this world. You are still here for a reason!! Please follow me and read any posts of mine that may encourage you. I would be honored! Thanks!

[Misspell in reply to Ambien1711]

I hate all the trauma and abuse so many go through as a child. I was abused as a child as well but I can't imagine what you have gone through. I'm so very sorry you went through that. I'm usually strong but yesterday the darkness of my depression took over. Thank you for your response.❤

[Ambien1711]

You're very welcome and thank you for your kind words! ; )