Ignore this, I just need to rant and this is the only place I trust to rant at...

[Midnightwolf1]

Its been HELL for me. I've been so stressed about school and my anxiety has gone through the damn universe by now. I have been worrying about everything, more of my brother and my future. I don't know if I ranted about my ATC practice test the last time but that has brought me down so bad. I feel like I did awful on that and that I will fail my dreams I have. I feel like I will fail to be a Children Cancer Doctor, I will fail being in the Air Force, I'll fail my brother and my father. I feel like I fail a being a person in general. I've been so close to a break down so many times this week and last week and everything has been setting me off the edge. I try so hard to look to the positive side of everything but its so hard when there is no one there for you. Know one else here understands what I am going through and I really don't have any friends here to try to help me through it. I'm just alone. I even tried to talk to my dad about it, but it seems like he don't care. He doesn't understand anything I try to tell him. He says 'You need to quit worrying about everything' or 'Its just a teenage phase' And I can't talk to anyone else about it cause they will cuss at me for feeling like that or look down on me, or they just don't understand. I've been so close to giving up, so close, but I keep going, but everyday it is getting harder. I don't know how much more I can handle, I really don't. I've tried to get my dad to get me a punching bag, like the sand ones that are super heavy, so I can get all this pent up anger and stress out, but he still hasn't. All in honest, I feel like my family hates me, I know they probably don't but I feel like they do, and I could understand if they do. I hate myself so much. I've tried to love myself, but I just don't. I don't see anything to love. I just want to be 18 already in the military so I am financially good. Then I want to already be 28 with a baby. That's all I want right now is a child that is mine to love and take care of. But that won't happen... I'm only 16 going to high school and living in hell with know one to talk to. I have no love life (And I mean a boyfriend who would be there for me and would love me as me) and maybe no future if I am such a failure....

If you did read this, I'm sorry, I just needed to rant and get it all out. Thank you for reading it tho.

~Sky

[Agora1]

Hi Sky, first of all you don't need to wait for your dad to buy you a punching bag.

When filled with frustrations, you can take it out by punching a pillow (therapists use this)

as well as finding a solitude place that you can just let out a high pitch scream.

You have set some high priority goals for yourself at such a young age. I'm in awe at all

you want to do in life. And that's great It's good to have a dream but don't shoot down that dream before you even get there.

This is about your life and not your father or your brother. Your putting too much pressure on yourself. Falling in love, having a family will all come in due time if it's meant

to be. High school is one of the most difficult times of life when so many changes are taking place both physically and emotionally in a young person.

Continue coming to the forum to talk with others so you don't feel so alone or just come to vent. Whatever works for you. xx

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you, that helped me some. I know isn't about my father or my brother, I just feel like my brother looks up to me and my dad see's greater things for me in life. I try not to pressure myself to much but I always do in the end. I just kind of wish I already had the falling in love with the one and a family..

[Hidden]

Hi Sky, I can tell you want to accomplish so much in life, and you have a big heart full of love for others. One thing I learned at 38 that can save you some years, take life one day at a time. In the Bible, there is a passage that says don’t worry about tomorrow, today has enough worries of its own. That is entirely true. Also, as life happens, all of our plans and timelines often get changed and some doors close, others we never thought of open. When I get really anxious about the future, I tell myself “one day at a time” and “stay close to your Father God.” I have your same personality and I am in a situation where I really want it to be next year because I believe that by next March I will be in a much better situation. I feel like someone lit dynamite underneath me and I have to hurry up. Really, it’s not wise and it doesn’t work to try and make life hurry up. What you can do is focus on one thing each day you can do for your future. Just do one thing a day. Then make sure you enjoy your family time and friends, make time for fun.

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Hidden]

I try to take it one day at a time, it just seems like the days aren't moving and it just one long day that is never ending..

[Hidden in reply to Midnightwolf1]

I know the feeling, but that’s because your focusing on years from now. Try to have goals that are not that far away, such as I want to learn Spanish by this December and everyday practice Spanish.

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Hidden]

Ok, I can try to do that and set short term goals and focus more on those them my long term goals.

[Hidden in reply to Midnightwolf1]

❤️😘❤️

[Hidden]

Hello Sky!

I agree with Agora1 and lynnalice. They have given you excellent, sound advice! I would run with it! Worrying about the future or past is a waste of time and mental energy. Focus on what you can do in today. Worry about tomorrow when it gets here. Take it slow. Don’t agonize over your Father and brother. One day at a time! Try to relax when you have the chance. Wishing you peace and understanding!