I'm always a trigger away from another explosion

[Existing]

I'm depleted now after my latest attempt to be heard. I'm alone in place where I'm "over qualified for my position in life", lol, meaning I have a very active educated mind, and I have so much to offer in my insight to our community, but again and again I come up against a brick wall.

When I try to reach my city councilors or anyone, no one listens or responds. When I speak on issues that are being ignored, like police misconduct, and that are very personal to me, and are killing people and need to be addressed, I get the same response. Mental health? They think I'm in crisis and need help.

I'm trying to get them to understand that I want to help, because they really don't see whats wrong with their methods, and I do because I've worked in mental health, because I've researched things here.

I'm saying this because their are 3 people who consider themselves to be "allknowing". They are pompous, self important, they whip out their unused credentials PhD, etc, to make them seem knowledgable and important, but they have not done a damn thing for the community.

Their very behavior and methods show little respect for people, their "solutions" are out of touch and offensive.

But they can just put themselves on calendars and give presentations, etc

Meanwhile I can't even get them to call or meet with me about what I've proposed.

I have issues with problems that are hurting people. These 3 pompous clowns have solutions that will help no one.

Years of being silenced and stepped on is killing me. Yet, for me to contribute and make a difference in things is what keeps me alive another day. Its what I need to be able to meet people, use my skills,, and do things i care about. But people seem to be offended.

Yet when 3 pompous empty self important people rudely demand their time, they get it, and then practically bow down to them. I mean first of all their pompous lack of manners or regard for peoples time, or for the community, should be a red flag of how disingenuous they are. Meanwhile, my humility is trample into humiliation.

I have been disrespected, deprived of my dignity when incompetent mental health nurses sent police to my house to have me "taken away against my will" forced to be subjected to their abuse, etc.

I can't take this. I can't just fade to black here and die. I need to move, but I've been deteriorating over time with the layers of trauma these incompetent authorities have added, and my aloneness can't figure it out.

I dont know what else to do because I keep trying anything and everything, and its always that universal disregard for anything I say. Its like no one here understands what was basic knowledge everywhere else I've lived. You don't keep feeding problems, and listening to people who make up answers. Its like they don't know how to figure things out. By the way, the statistics are proof that we are at the bottom of state rankings for everything. Yet, ? I mean, I just don't understand why I'm invisible.

[Leadingwithlove]

it is a very frustrating feeling to not be heard. It makes you not want to keep trying. But then you question if you stop trying what is the purpose in life really. Sometimes we may need to direct our energies to figure out where we can truly make a difference.

[Existing in reply to Leadingwithlove]

Thanks, I really appreciate those words. And I'm so glad you get the part about "then whats the purpose of life really?".

[Atthepark]

U need to join Nami and become a peer support and tell your story at thr appropriate events that deal w those types of issues you will learn alot and can help make changes to the world of mental health that way and u may get satisfied if u went that route and u were actually felt heard

[Existing in reply to Atthepark]

Mmmm, unfortunately I'm not a big believer of some of NAMIs basic principles. They are truly an organization that's wonderful for families, when their loved one is so out of control, they end up in and out of jails, etc.But, for many consumers NAMI is not helpful, and the one where is probably one of the worst I've seen, so yeah thats out of the question. And I think I sent something online one time, for one of NAMIs "tell your story" opportunity, and... they politely rejected it 😄. Its because the abuse I've endured came directly from the trauma of forced hospitalization with police. And thats something NAMI supports.

[Mohammad-341]

You are too good to be taken for good. They would listen to you if first you can manage you without any mental illness and then can work with them not at executive level or planning but at the ground level. Only working at ground level will make you realise that some problem from society can't be uprooted or removed. Please calm your self and enjoy this part of adult hood for doing something that u wished to buy couldn't