I thought I found meds that finally worked for me and its pooped after 3 or 4 weeks. I thought a new trauma therapist would help me and after 6 months it hasn't. We both agree.
I'm being referred to internal family systems therapy. Has anyone been through that? I cannot break through my paralysis that results from lifelong failures. I need support as these two are failures again. I feel suicidal ideation, not actively and. I know who to call if that changes. But it hurts so badly.
I'm saddened to hear about your past suicidal ideations and I'm truly sorry for your suffering. The struggles of life are a rollercoaster. I hope you find better tools that compliment your needs in order to better heal and soar in your journey of life. I dont have an answer to your question nonetheless I wanted to reach out in support.
I know how you feel I feel like I am experiencing a bit of relapse of anxiety myself. All I can say is you are not alone and this too shall pass. You are being super brave facing the fear head first so be proud of that you are doing the right thing
My heart goes out to you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry to hear about your current situation. Maybe the answers you need are already in you. Sometimes I've found that when I'm looking for a therapist I'm looking for myself to stand up.
You can’t have success without being brave enough to fail! I know this is an old saying but it’s very very true. I ask you each morning before breakfast to do the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises. It’s on you tube free. I do it 2-3-4 times daily if stressed. I like cold showers like he does. I think people like you and I lack endorphins or seratonin or something and this helps. Nothing beats a 30-60 minute jog or walk . I wish I was there to just hug you, and tell you you matter! So I’m doing it now to you! You tube has good walking in place videos! Medicine only takes us part way , we have to put in some exercise daily too. Talk to god like your friend. My god is my friend. And I don’t know exactly how god works. I just know god loves us and made all the life. You are not alone, god loves you too! I know it might sound like crap, but it’s true . Maybe god just wants us to talk to god ? I am not trying to steer you to any type of organized religion. I am just asking you to try to be open, to the fact, I am pretty sure the weather didn’t make all the life down here. Living bodies of all types are too amazing to be an accident.
I know what you mean about having a relationship with something higher than yourself. I appreciate your advice about everything. Thank you❤️
Wow, you have reminded me of how awful life was searching for answers.
I believe, you're not a failure, you simply have not obtained the outcome you want or expect so keep looking. It took time for me to find the right combination of medicines and a therapist I trust. I needed to trust to accept the encouragement and/direction. Then there's work that only I could do that promoted a better outcome. My therapist was a cheerleader, someone who validated my feelings. My life is not prefect, daily I need to be the master of my mental health symptoms. There are symptoms that have never gone away completely I have learn how to live better with them Acceptance has become an asset, as some one stated already this to shell pass. Hang in there!
Thank you. Self acceptance seems so far out of reach. I personally need more than cheerleading therapists. I don't even think they hold answers for me anymore. I may try the therapy recommended by my previous therapist,; she fully understood me, but came to her limits in helping me too. I'm glad you found your center. I do not expect a life like the mainstream, I just want my life to be satisfying.
I feel so alone... 
Feeling so anxious today.
Feeling so alone at work. 
Feeling so miserable!!😭😭
Looking to feel not so alone
