Does anyone else just feel like giving up? It is so exhausting to fight anxiety and depression day after day. It hit me out of the blue 3 years ago. It has been a rough ride for sure. Every day I wake up with that terrible dread in my chest. Sometimes it fades during the day, sometimes not. I was once so happy and full of life. I just want my old life back but my mind won't allow it. I go to bed fearing waking up the next day like this. I think about death all the time. I wish I could just die most days rather than having the thoughts that spin around in my head. Sorry for the rant, I had to vent.
So tired of this feeling. : Does anyone... - Anxiety and Depre...
So tired of this feeling.
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cortisolqueen
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I feel just like you do right now...I see you go by cortisol queen...I do think we have high cortisol that makes us feel so anxious. I do wish for death a lot. I am 57... How old are you?
59 soon to be 60 in November. I can't believe how my life has changed since 3 years ago when I experienced my first panic attack. I was sure I was dying and made my poor husband take me to the ER 10 times that first year. I am on Lexapro and Remeron and was on Klonopin but trying to come off it. I could really tell it was messing with my memory. I spent one day in the psych ward that first year because an ER doctor asked if I wanted to kill myself and I made the mistake of being honest. Took me straight to another hospital and stuck me in the psyche ward for like 10 hours. That was really the scariest day of my life. Once the doctor finally came in, he said you don't belong here, you are depressed and gave me the Remeron because I had lost 35 pounds and my hair was falling out. Later I found out I had celiacs disease which explained the weight loss and I have gotten some better. I just am so tired of this. I think of death every day but I have a wonderful 30 year old son and I know it would change his life forever. I can't believe I have these feelings. Three years ago I was really the happiest woman I knew, never down, always up beat and so very happy. Always having fun and loving life. I feel that is gone forever.
We are both postmenopausal... I swear this has something to do with hormones... Makes our cortisol skyrocket and we feel anxious. I am not enjoying life at all... I am a Christian... I keep calling out to God. Every day I am anxious and frightened. I always feel like I can't breathe... I hyperventilate and then get all the crappy symptoms.
I have wondered if that could be the cause. Many people have told me that. I too am a Christian and know that God does not intend me to be anxious. I pray for all of us who suffer from this, it is truly such a terrible way to live.
I am 60 and have had this illness forever, but it seems to be harder to fight lately. I call out to God all the time, too. There HAS to be something that will help. I don't have much of a support system and can't seem to find groups or people to support me because of the symptoms of this illness. I feel like a burden to my family and frankly, they are sick of me. I have been losing friends (even Christian friends) Where do we turn? Where do I go for help? I have tried many, many drugs in the past and the side effects are atrocious (even affecting my eyesight) and have had 'Brain Zaps' from the withdrawal from some of them...
it is a constant battle everyday
Hi.
You don't need to keep suffering. There is a simple understanding that teaches people what causes anxiety and depression.
It can fade away once you get this understanding
Can you tell me how to do this? I really want to try to get better. I have always been a strong woman but I just can't beat this stuff. It stays on my mind 24/7.
You have to learn to forgive yourself and others.
Having it on your mind 24/7 means you keep feeling the same.
You have to learn to let it go.
I used to feel the same. I came across this powerful understanding. I let it go. It's awesome
And now I want to help others...
Thank you. I need help with letting it go. I realize I think about it all the time but I just can't figure out how to let it go.
It's easy when you know how. We are all one thought away from perfect happiness
Do you mean just ignore the symptoms? I feel like I can't breathe.... I am so scared and want to take a xanax but I depend on them to much.
Learning this understanding can free you from the torment inside
Hoping you can share how you made it through. I hate myself everyday for my bad choices in life. Been feeling this way for the past 2 years looks like it will be 3 soon. I cant take it anymore.
Learning to let go and forgive yourself is the start point.
We all innocently get caught up in an 'outside in' experience.
Your feelings of Anxiety, depression, overwhelm etc are all the results of thoughts creating a feeling from the human psychology that is coming from you - not the outside world.
There are over 430 types of (Freudian based) intervention therapy practices and doctors prescribing medication that all work from the 'outside in', so why are there increasing numbers of people with mental health issues?
It is so sad to hear of others suffering for years and years, spending unknown amounts of time and money looking for solutions to their problems, and looking for something to make them happy,
This new understanding 'points' us to our true 'inside out' experience.
A simple understanding that is more effective than any other techniques or methodology, and can reconfigure your life so that physical and psychological pain can be a thing of the past
What you are seeking is wisdom...and wisdom is inside all of us...innate...it's just that we fall asleep while awake...innocently get caught up in the 'outside in' experience...we become 'lost in thought'...and so we become unable to access the 'inner wisdom'
It can end Limiting Beliefs, crippling self-doubt and needless suffering through anger, guilt and sadness caused by the Freudian mind trap of dwelling on past events.
I have been very fortunate to have come across this life changing simple understanding and I want to help as many people as I can.
I would love to be able to share this knowledge with you too...
Hey, I am even older- getting older is not for sissies- that is for sure.
That's for sure. I am the primary care giver for my 84 year old Dad. I see him going down each day and just see myself being in that shape before I know it. Before the anxiety hit, I never really worried about getting older, but now seeing him daily and watching him waste away both mentally and physically is killing me.
I take care of my 91 year old mom...I cannot stay like this.
Bless your heart! I think that is a lot of our problem. It is so difficult to care for aging parents. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I don't want to put him in a nursing home but I swear it is killing me taking care of him and watching him go down hill every day. God bless you and your Mom.
We live together... I need to be stronger for her
You are a good person to care for your Mom. I will pray for your strength and for her also. I completely understand how difficult this is.
Do you ever feel like you can't catch your breath? That is how I feel today.... One big panic attack.
I know that feeling well. I go to sleep worrying about how I will feel when I wake up. I just can't let it go. It consumes my every thought. I hate this feeling.
What symptoms do you get?
Oh my goodness, I have so many. I get nausea, heart racing, mind racing, but the worst one is I feel like I am going crazy. That one really scares me to death. A therapist told me that no one ever sat in his office that didn't worry about going crazy but that is just the anxiety talking and it is a lie. But I still worry about it everyday. I also suffer from suicidal thoughts really bad. This should be the best time of my life. My son is grown and doing well, I have a great job and a great husband, but I am still so anxious most days that I don't want to live.
Wow.... How do you work???
I have to. My husband has been out of work for 7 years due to back injuries. I just drag myself in 6 days a week so we can have insurance. I do have a great job and a great boss who had stuck by me and been a big support during these past 3 years. She has been there for me every day. Some days I am so afraid that I literally want to turn the car around and run back home, but I know if I do that, I may not ever leave the house again.
Well, is it a wonder that you are so stressed? You need some time to celebrate just being you. What kind of work do you have? I hope you have other supports as well- and some time to get off the so called hamster wheel that keeps going every day.
Can you at least get elder services to help you out? No one can do it all.
I don't know how old you are- but please remember to allow time for yourself as well. My parents have been gone for decades. I give you a lot of credit, but I hope you make time for you to live as well. Unless your dad was in rough shape for decades, he was not always like this. You have a long time to go.
Thanks so much for the reply. You are so right. I need to make time for myself but I never do. I work for the Post Office. I just had my 25th anniversary there. It's been a great job. I have been very fortunate to have had a job so close to home. I really appreciate all the support I receive from this forum. Thanks again.
You are right the PO is a great job. Congratulations for sticking it out for so long. I hope you will treat yourself even if you go to a spa or out with friends etc. You work too hard to not have a break, and you do not need to be a martyr. You need to vent, but you also need to recharge and be pampered a little. Does your dad live with you, and do you have other family members who can help you? At any rate- please take a break- you deserve it, and life is too short.
He lives right next door to me. My husband gets him up every morning and gets his lunch. Once I am off work I do his bath, supper and put him to bed. I like your spa idea. I think I will try to treat myself to that soon. Thanks again for the support.
Good, and don't forget there are elder services. Remember your dad worked for these services.
Oh cortisolqueen,
This post breaks my heart 💔 I was reading every word and feeling all your pain as if i had wrote it !
Please know you are not on your own in feeling like this ! Please reach out if you wanna chat / vent anything ! I'm hear for you ❤
I find it quite difficult in my situation as no one in my social circle understands me , my family don't get me they do support me but don't fully understand!
Have you got good family support?
This site has really helped me, I would be well and truly lost without it..
Sending you lots of love my friend!!! ❤
Thanks so much. I really feel like no one can understand us unless they have suffered with anxiety and depression. I never would have thought this could happen to me, but it did. Now I have such a compassion for others who are going through this and want to be there for them as well. You are so right, this site helps so much. While we certainly would not wish this on anyone, it helps to know we are not alone.
Sending love back your way friend.
❤❤❤
Thank you. And know that you’re not alone. I’ll always be here if you need to chat. Blessings. Stay strong. SAMSON
I feel the same way
Hello. I understand how you’re feeling , but you must fight on and just think that all this will go away. You mustn’t give up. Think of yourself your family loved ones. I do believe that depression does eventually go away. It’s a disease just like physical diseases, but you can’t give up. I find that exercise does help. I’ve been an a. If weightlifter all my life and I find that after a training session I do feel better. Lots of people fall into severe depression after a traumatic life event. I do believe it’s temporary and you must fight on. Have faith. Blessings to you. Samson
Thanks so much for the support! I really do appreciate it. Be well my friend.
As Christians we know that our battle is not with flesh and blood. God will not abandon you you or leave you.( Deuteronomy 31:8) Cast your burdens on Him, because he cares for you (1Peter5:7) Keep praying and trust that God is there working even when you can't see it. I will be praying for you and your family.You might read some of these stories (bit.ly/2mFxWoz) for help and insight. Keep up the good fight.
Thank you so much, I really needed this right now.
I wish I could give you a hug, look you in the eyes and cry and laugh with you. Maybe I should apologize for this incredibly long reply. Maybe. I don’t know - I couldn't get my thoughts to conform to an order any more than this...
I can't imagine this feeling of anxiety coming on suddenly when so much of your life you lived and did and felt as you wanted - not this anxiety that has taken hold and won't let you go. I battle with thinking I've done something wrong. How could I not? There's no other logical explanation for this. There has to be. There has to be another explanation. Maybe we’re not experiencing these challenges because we’re doing anything wrong, but struggling to learn something new.
Maybe we’re learning to understand, face, and accept ourselves. But how can we accept if we don't face, and how can we face if we don't understand? So we go round and round in circles fighting ourselves just to get through the day. One thing you can say is that we're not quitters! We don't give up easily. We will go kicking and screaming into the night - sometimes I do.
So I agree that understanding is the first step. How did we get to this place, as individuals and as a culture plagued by our anxieties? I wish I had all (or any) of the answers, but for now, this is my incomplete understanding of anxiety and how it causes us to wreak havoc on ourselves.
It begins with fear, regular old bump-in-the-night fear. It used to be a healthy, occasional signal that was balanced out by many other signals, like love and celebrations and meaningful contribution - the things that now seem so far away from me. This fear has become diluted and smeared into every corner of my life.
I think back when I was a new mom, I was startled not just by a cry but all noises that could possibly be the cause of the cry. Anxiety is like that to me - constantly on guard, constantly alert, ever-watching, but ever-afraid at what I might find.
Through this changed orientation to fear, I became afraid, not of something happening, but afraid of the THOUGHT of something happening. Tighter and tighter my thoughts became as they dragged me out of the world around me. I increasingly felt trapped, alone and barred from living life like it seemed everyone around me was doing.
It doesn’t help when I added the pressure of wanting to be as I used to be. That was the closest identity I had, and now it was gone. And it seemed like it would be gone forever.
It's not easy walking through anxiety. It takes courage - every single day. But like I said before, I at least know we are strong because we’re here. We just tend to do it in the wrong way, beating ourselves to where we think we should be rather than facing and accepting the step right in front of us.
We won't get there immediately, but slowly. Slowly, one step at a time, we get closer to becoming a complete human.
So I guess if I were to make a short post, if I were to say only one thing that has gotten me this far, it would be this: "Strength is not born from strength. Strength can be born only from weakness. So be glad of your weaknesses now, they are the beginnings of your strength."
This is from an Australian doctor by the name of Claire Weekes. She wrote the book called, 'Hope and Help for Your Nerves'. Much of my understanding about anxiety can be attributed to her.
Oh my goodness! What a wonderful and thoughtful post. I love it. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. I think it could help all of us on here to understand this mess we are in. Like you said, it began with fear. A fear I had never experienced before. Then it grew to fearing the fear. It consumes my every thought. Trying to figure a way out of this mess. I am going to read your post again and again. It is so helpful.
The first book I purchased was Claire Weekes Hope and Help for Your Nerves. I have read it again and again the past 3 years. You truly understand what I am going through and for that I appreciate you so very much. Sending you hugs and heart felt gratitude my friend.
It's disappointing but makes me feel a little better knowing that I am not alone. I always want it to go away but never wanted to give up. Too scared of dying 
Feeling this really hard tonight. You’re not alone💕
I am 46 and have felt this way since I was around 35. I wake up crying every day. I am unhappy every day and hate this life as there is no living just hurt, pain and tears.
Initially I had a male physician who refused to check my hormones. Once I got a doctor willing to check them it was found I had none. The male physician insisted I would not go through menopause until I was 51 well I think peri-menopause started when I was about 35. I started hormone replacement therapy when I was 41 along w/ my mental health treatments I was already receiving for depression and anxiety since I was about 26. I wasn't perfect but I was maintaining.
I was assaulted by a student in 2017 and have not been able to return to work since. I had to quit my job teaching as it was contributing to my misery and unhappiness. I have been looking for work sending out about 70 resumes on some weeks. I have only had a few interviews each time ending in rejection. I feel like they can see I'm barely hanging on by a thread. Emotionally I am exhausted and a complete mess.
I feel angry because I was this way as a child to a certain degree, highly emotional with outbursts but I received no treatment or therapy. This is certainly not how normal people act. I basically have no support system, my family does not believe in mental illness. Anytime I try to discuss what I am going through with my family, meaning my parents, I get yelled at or criticized. My self confidence is shot. I wish for death every day. I have for as long as I can remember. I too have learned the hard way not to really express how I feel as it lands me in the looney bin, which maybe is where I belong.
No job, no insurance, can't afford to see a doctor and definately cannot afford to see a psychiatrist, so no meds which equates to the crazy getting so far out of control it prevents me from getting a job so the vicious cycle just continues.
Please stop the crazy train I want to get off at the normal life and happiness destination.
I am so glad I am not the only one who feels this way. Just knowing others of you experience this is helpful.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so debilitating to suffer from anxiety and depression. I will certainly remember you in my prayers. Please remember you are not alone. There are so many of us who suffer daily, and no one can possibly understand how it feels unless they have suffered with it. Hang on my friend.
Dear, dear, I also want to give you a hug.
I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to give up. I've been battling dep & anx for most of my life, and I'm 62 years old and recently divorced. Sorry to say this so bluntly, but many people my age, especially men, have become statistics--they committed suicide.
Did you do something different when you were so full of life up until you fell into this depression? Have you tried getting out and getting involved in activities or exercising, going for a walk or meeting some friends for coffee or do you have a hobby you like to do or find some kind of volunteer work that you are interested in...?
I remind myself when I get out of bed every morning "what kind of day do I want have today?" Then I have to make a decision to think positive thoughts and do positive things. I listen to praise and worship music because it is up lifting and encouraging. I hope you can find something here to help you.
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