Feeling so anxious today.

[LostFairy]

I'm having a crazy day. I have a nurse coming out to see my mother-in-law who has alzheimers and don't want to see doctors, so she is in a panic state. I'm trying to calm her, babysit my nephew and clean my house at the same time. I can't take my anxiety med because it knocks me out, so just hiding in my room for a minute to catch my breath. Okay, breathe. Lol. Wish me luck today, my friends, please! I'm gonna need it.

[gb14]

good luck i hope everything goes well!!

[LostFairy in reply to gb14]

Thank you Carol. 💗

[Coralrose5]

Good luck! 🍀

[LostFairy in reply to Coralrose5]

Thank you so much Coralrose. Just keep breathing right? Lol. 😊

[hypercat54]

Good luck! Been there and done that with my mother who panicked at everything. It's not easy is it. x

[LostFairy in reply to hypercat54]

Nope, not easy at all. Especially on a soul caregiver. There is no outlet. But I love her and do what needs to be done. As Dory from Finding Nemo says, "Just keep swimming." Lol

[hypercat54 in reply to LostFairy]

Yes you have to do it for their own safety, but like you said it's sure not easy! x

[LostFairy in reply to hypercat54]

I'm sorry you had to face it with your mom, but I commend you for your strength.

[pink83737]

Let us know how everything goes🌷

[LostFairy in reply to pink83737]

I will. Thank you. 💞

[Hidden]

Good luck, lostfairy!

Can you play some music you like on your smartphone when you take breaks in your room?

[LostFairy in reply to Hidden]

I listen to a thing called babbling brook on my Alexa. It puts me creek side and is beautiful.

[Krn210]

Good luck!

[LostFairy in reply to Krn210]

Thank you. Making progress. Got rhenhpuse clean, nephew is watching a movie and eating lunch, so snagging 15 minutes of me time.

[LostFairy in reply to Krn210]

*the house that is. Lol

[Kkimm]

Hi

I really feel for you as you have such alot to deal with on a day to day basis.

My mother had early dementia before she died 3 years ago and it was so sad to see her struggle to remember almost everything that had just happened and try to cover it up to reassure everyone and probably herself that she was alright.

She was an amazing person, strong, brave and very caring. She had been the first police woman to be appointed in her county after the war and rose quickly to inspector but decided to leave then and start her family as she had married my father who had been a police officer in Palestine in the war and suffered for years afterwards because of atrocities he had witnessed.

Although my mother's short term memory was very poor she could remember her past well and we did memory books with her and wrote down and recorded all sorts of prescious memories for her as well as poems she loved and spent many special hours reading them together. Music and singing also spoke very powerfully to her and could calm her when she was stressed and raise her spirits when unhappy. She had always loved animals and I got her a toy cat which was curled up and could purr when a switch was pressed. She loved it and had it on her lap for hours and would sometimes think it was a real 🐈

It is so hard caring for someone with dementia on a day to day basis and cannot imagine how you do it when you yourself are suffering from anxiety. You must be very strong and really caring to continue from day to day.

Is there any way in which you could have a break from time to time. Respite care for her through Social Services for example. The services are very over stretched but I think you could and deserve to be given some support. It can be hard to ask for help I know but you will not be given it if you do not ask.

You may not feel this is for you as your mother in law may be too anxious to accept it but her confidence could be built if it is introduced gradually, perhaps as day care at first. If not perhaps someone to come in for a few hours to relieve you could help. Many charities may be able to offer this in your area which you may find on line. In my area there is a charity called Side by Side which could offer this sort of help.

Really hope all goes well today with the nurse's visit.

Very best wishes

Kim

[LostFairy in reply to Kkimm]

Thank you, Kim, for your message. I'm so sorry about all you went through with mom. I have discussed respite care with my husband, of whom has power of attorney of his mom, and he really don't like the idea of strangers in our home when he is not here. I understand that, but I think he is going to have to accept it because at this point we are looking at having to get her approved for pallitive care or hospice. Either one will bring people into our home to help me with her care. Her needing this care is heartbreaking for me because I've been managing for 8 years now on my own with her and to just accept that her alzheimers has gotten so advanced is very difficult. To see the sadness and frustration in her eyes is the most heartbreaking of all. Very shortly I will be getting needed respite, unfortunately it will be because it is necessary not because of choice. Thank you again for all of your kind words, they mean a lot to me. 💗

[rollingstone]

Hope everything went okay!

[LostFairy in reply to rollingstone]

Thank you, rollingstone. It did and it didn't. I got through it all without pulling my hair out, screaming, or crying, but in the end, my mother in law is in worse health than she seemed to be. We are entering into a different area of what the next steps are in taking care of her and a whole new level of fear and stress. I'm trying to stay optimistic that things will turn out okay, but this month is always very hard on me since the loss of my daughter 3 years ago this month. In a nutshell, I'm staying positive, but June sucks.

[Eagle12]

Good luck. You got this.

[Pitalife]

I can relate,I'm male who caregiver very ill mother at home,my brother took his own life n made things more difficult to deal w. Read,read,read posts and share share share,this groups been godsend to me..caregiving is way more complicated n difficult then I could ever had imagined,but I'm so glad I can be here to help..pray God gives me the strength to carry on ,stay in touch n read read,share,share.on here...best wishes to you n family...