New here

[Saba82]

Hi. I’m new here. I really don’t know how to manage my anxiety and depression. I’m super hypochondriac. There is always something that makes me anxious. I’m 39 and for the past 20 years I constantly think that I have cancer. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer 5 months ago. Thank God there are a lot of treatment options for BC even stage 4 and she responds to treatment. But that was a BIG shock in my life. I get my check ups every 5 months. 5 months ago my iron level dropped a lot,but hemoglobin was normal,so I thought maybe it’s due to nutrition staff. 3 weeks ago I rechecked and it’s the same so my doctor checked for occult blood in my stool and it came back positive. Now I’m scheduled for colonoscopy and endoscopy on Wednesday. What if I have cancer. Oh my God I can’t stop crying. We were planning to have family reunion in London after shock that we have for my mother. What if I would have to cancel it((((((. I’m really tired always think about the worst((((

Sorry for this negativity…

[Agora1]

Hi Saba82, I'm sorry to hear that your mom was diagnosed with breast cancer BUT I am happy that she is responding to treatment. Having Health Anxiety can put us in a stageof "what ifs". That cycle of fear can be worse than the issue we are faced with.

One step at a time will get you a proper diagnosis which doesn't have to be life threatening. It's our Anxiety that makes us think that way. Good Luck with your

procedures on Wednesday. Let us know how you made out. But make sure that you

keep in mind that you will make it to the Family Reunion. Stay Positive. Things do come

up in life but don't allow Anxiety to put that thought there before it happens.

Welcome to this amazing forum. I'm happy you are here with us. We care xx

[Hidden]

You say "what if" it's cancer.... but "what if" it isn't? sounds like the doctors are on the case and are being very thorough, try to use some distractions to give your mind a little break from thinking about these issues, even if you can give yourself tiny episodes where your not over thinking your situation it will help. I understand how frightened you are, just try and take a step back and use some self soothing and deep breathing, take in some fresh air, go for some walks, occupying your mind with other things isn't easy but just keep trying 😘😘

[hzhang35]

Anxiety mind does all tricks

Hope this quote helps!

[Agora1 in reply to hzhang35]

How true, how true xx

[weegmack]

Hey there,I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard time. I’m very sorry to hear about your mum - but she is responding to the treatment and that is very good news.

I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Health Anxiety, so I completely understand how you feel right now. My dad died of bone cancer 24 years ago and I’ve lived in fear of cancer ever since (I’m 46). Like you, I’m often getting tests and at the doctor.

I also have IBS and other gastro problems, which can have really alarming symptoms and I’ve often been in the same state of mind as you too.

One thing I will say is that your doctor is being so thorough and that’s really good. But there are quite a few reasons you can have blood in your poop. You could have gastritis or a stomach ulcer which is causing a bit of bleeding, you could have an anal fissure and you could also have benign polyps.

Is this the first time you’ve had a colonoscopy or an endoscopy? Xx

[Saba82 in reply to weegmack]

I’ve had endoscopes before,4 times. I do have chronic gastritis. I used to have superficial ulceration in my stomach. But the thing that scares me is my low ferritin and occult blood in stool at the same time. I’ve never had colonoscopy before. I do have procedure tomorrow and Im having the worst anxiety right now. I hate myself for being so weak. Just want everything to be ok and finally have family reunion. Last time we had to cancel our flight because of mom’s diagnose. Hopefully this time it won’t happen(((

[weegmack in reply to Saba82]

Please don’t hate yourself. What you’re feeling is totally understandable- I can very much relate. If you were really a weak person, you wouldn’t go through with the procedure- so you’re actually very strong. I went for a gallbladder scan 8 weeks ago, and during it they found a tumour on my kidney. I had myself dead and buried. Had to get biopsies and I was told to prepare for it to be malignant, but it was benign. So try to hold onto some hope that this is something that you’re not dreading. You could even have Inflammatory Bowel Disease or colitis. There are so many things this could be. But I would be just as afraid and panicked as you. It’s so easy for others to say it’s fine. I also have a friend who has occult blood sample and it wasn’t cancer. Will you let me know how you get on? I’ll be thinking of you. Just take it little bits at a time. Are you in U.K.? X

[Saba82 in reply to weegmack]

Thank you so much for understanding. Im glad that everything turned out OK for you.I’m in US,my sister lives in London. My primary doctor wasn’t concerned about my ferritin level. He said you probably don’t absorb iron. I showed him my last year blood work and normal ferritin level and I insisted on hemoccult test, friend of mine told me to check it out. Hopefully tomorrow is gonna be a good day for me and it’s nothing serious. Can’t control my fear:(((

[weegmack in reply to Saba82]

Let me know how it goes. I’m thinking of you xxx