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[Artsyrebel0810]

Hey I’m new to the group and not really sure how to start because my mind feels so scrambled... I guess I can start with that I just got out of a relationship of 5 years but it felt like a lifetime. From the very beginning we were in survival mode and anxiety was always building and never relaxing within that relationship. We were homeless multiple times and always going from one place to another and I felt like I couldnt ground myself. After a lot of emotional abuse I decided to leave because I was afraid I was going to fully lose myself and there’s a lot of emotions because I’ve been made out to be a bad person but I know I put up with a lot of torment. I lost all my friends and just got back some family but yea I’m slowly rebuilding for the next chapter...

[argh52]

Welcome. I'm glad you got out of a toxic situation. We're here to support you with what comes next.

[Artsyrebel0810 in reply to argh52]

Thank you so much

[sweetiepye]

Welcome , You've come to the right place . It sounds like you'll fit right in with the rest of us. Oh , those relationships can play havoc with our mental health can't they ? No one but the two people involved knows what goes on in a relationship and sometimes only one of them knows. Don't accept the blame and really it's no one else's business. You must have a good amount of strength to be able to get yourself out of what sounds like a toxic relationship. Good for you , you've probably saved yourself a lot of pain. Pam

[Artsyrebel0810 in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you for your reply Pam! It took a few years of internal struggle to leave but I am tied to him for the rest of my life, we have a two year old beautiful daughter together and I know it’s not over. I feel lighter not being in the same space for right now, I was having panic attacks all throughout the night and I had to say enough is enough!

[sweetiepye in reply to Artsyrebel0810]

It seems trite to say it , but it often is true that you find something wonderful in the worst situations . Yuck , those panic attacks . I just went the rounds with one a few hours ago. What do I find good about a panic attack... overcoming them makes me strong. They never win but have to sneak back around and find me unaware . I just keep playing wack a mole with them .

[PeaceandWar]

I’ve experienced homelessness and abuse in different forms in relationships...I’ve felt and still feel lonely. I have no friends or family. Although I’m at a low place mentally I know it won’t stay this way. It takes time finding peace but it comes. I used to hate being alone until I realized the people around me were causing my downfall. Now I’m protective of me, my peace of mind, and my spirit. Something that really helps me is knowing that even in darkness there’s always a light to be found.

[Artsyrebel0810]

Being alone is so hard especially when not being able to reach out to anyone! In this particular relationship the only ‘friends’ I had were through him because we had started a business together. He hated me talking to anyone outside of that circle and would say that was me going Against him. You are very right, there is always light in darkness and it can only lead to more positive relationships in the future. I’ve been learning how important boundaries are. I started thinking that boundaries were a form of selfishness or that it meant I wasn’t trustworthy but now I know it’s really self love and that we all need to love ourselves as a base and other forms of love are a cherry on top

[argh52 in reply to Artsyrebel0810]

That kind of isolating behavior is classic abusive behaviour. It's a good thing you got out of there. Good luck!

[Artsyrebel0810 in reply to argh52]

Thank you 🙏🏻