I keep creating scenarios of me be killed everytime I go outside, help!

[senses]

So I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, & mild depression like 8 years ago, I went to therapy for almost 3 years, I had one main therapist and some specialized helpers. Ever since I was a kid I was always very anxious, constantly scanning my surroundings and always scared of being attacked or killed. most of that came from my dad because he is very anxious and superstitious so I learned it at a very young age... He would always go outside and stare at people that looked suspicious and was constantly thinking my mom is cheating on him. Anyways after my years at therapy I felt I was able to manage my anxiety, my OCD & depression was gone so I ended it there. I went a couple years completely fine until a misunderstanding a few months ago. Now when I'm somewhere every little thing that happens around me I find suspicious and when I go somewhere I think it's a setup! My therapist did say I was self centered which is the main fuel for my anxiety. I once herd a neighbor say watch your back to someone now I think they're part of it too! I create these scenarios of me being attacked when I'm I public and I hate it, they are all stupid and highly unlikely to happen. Most recently being avalanched by a cartel and being taken out with tons of rounds... or being kidnapped & getting my head chopped off, what is wrong with me? These scenerios also play out vividly in my nightmares. It doesn't seem logical, it's been months since the incident.

I manage to calm down after I make it back home, I'm pretty religious and know God is protecting me but these thoughts still come up! I really don't want to go back to therapy, my therapist warned that once you get GAD it's incurable only manageable so I don't see much reason to go back or I'll just spend my whole life in therapy. I just need something to calm me down on the spot and not after, I hate adrenaline! Especially when it's not actually needed!

[Myre]

What is GAD?

[senses in reply to Myre]

generalized anxiety disorder

[Myre]

My bad, I have got a hard time focusing, forget facts the moment I see them. I don't have a diagnosis though, don't expect one with my type of upbringing. I get anxious though, worried so much until I subconsciously curtailed my entire thought process now I feel empty all the time and barely feel a thing.

Conversation scares me being as I am not the most forthcoming but that is what I need here or anywhere else if I am willing to move forward from this.

[Mike7777]

Have you tried any sort of medications? Or natural supplements to help manage?

[senses in reply to Mike7777]

I'm not a fan of medication, any natural supplements you suggest?

[Mike7777 in reply to senses]

Benzos have helped me. And no dependance on them whatsoever. If it helps you improve your life take it. Everything can have side effects. Get exercise, you could try gaba, l theanine, magnesium, fish oil. Also, get bloodwork done. Check your norepinephrine levels, mine were high last time i checked them which means higher blood pressure occasionally and high adrenaline responses. Which seems like what you experience.

[senses in reply to Mike7777]

I will look into that thanks