Feeling Along and Depressed

[RazzleDazzleAlone]

Does anyone else feel like nobody cares? That is the way I feel. I use to have a lot of friends and now I don't have any. I ask myself why and can't come up with an answer...I just feel like nobody understands me or gets my sense of humor. I have always been a great worker and have never had any trouble except being told that I am a workhorse. At my current job, I have recently been demoted which on top of not having any friends and connecting with anyone at work has really made me depressed. (I guess I need to give you the background of my health too..last year 2019 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and have been through 2 surgeries to have tumors removed) So ok, I was out of work for a while and went back to this job that I have to stay at because I am the one who has the health benefits for my family. Well, since this is a government job, I was promoted (because the boss wanted her "special" 1 year worker to be promoted, I had to move out of my job so she could have it). Anyway, I was moved to another department and it wasn't fulfilling and I was becoming more depressed. In government jobs, you must take exams to be promoted. So, my exam was coming up and I totally freaked out because of this pandemic going on and knowing I was going to be exposed to 100's of people also taking an exam. So, because I had cancer, my immune system is compromised and I asked to have an alternate test date. I was informed that an alternate test date was asking for special treatment. I got very upset by this and decided to ask to return to my old position. So, I met with the personnel and asked to return to my former position and was told that this would affect many others (only one other the girl that took my job that the Commissioner loves -also must add that the Commissioner has changed position titles and canvassed more than once for another girl in the office who has been with the company about a year or so- this adds to the frustration for me because I have been there close to 15 years and have been treated like I don't matter) So, after a few days I calmed down because the boss told me that my alternate test date was approved. I felt a little better knowing I wasn't going to have to be with a lot of people to take this exam, so, I rescinded my request to go back to my old position. Well, the boss told me that my rescinded request was disapproved but has kept me in the same position but gave me my old title - this is to save them money...so, basically, I am doing the same job that I was promoted to but at the salary of my old job. Nobody can understand the scare I had to take that examination with 100 plus other people - in addition, it would be with others that I know were exposed to the corona virus. I am very angry at what was done to me and feel that I am alone and nobody at my job cares at all....I have not heard a peep from one person at my job - it hurts to realize that not one person that I work with cares at all. I am not sure anyone will read this but, it felt good just to get this out. If someone does read this, can you give me any words of encouragement. Thank you and God Bless.

[Hidden]

You have to do jobs that help your boss, in their position and get experience that way the exams may be easier I feel. Everything, jobs is down to experience and I feel if you get extra work - this might help. Otherwise helping the person in the position you want, get the skills and win the exam and interview. I hope this helps.

[Barclay2020]

It sounds like you are frustrated by the way you are being treated at work but you are totally capable of doing your job( or jobs). I know it sounds cliche but figure out your ultimate goal and work towards that. If what you want displaces someone else, that’s not ideal but do you want to give up your well being for someone else’s? So what if it’s special treatment to ask for something? Our government is known for special treatment. Unless it is a hard no, keep trying for what you want respectfully and calmly. If you can find and enjoy 2 or 3 friends you are lucky. Friends will come and go through your entire life. Some will be A friends and some Z friends. You know what I mean, not every friend deserves to be your A friend.

Take it easy on yourself. Bless you.

[RazzleDazzleAlone in reply to Barclay2020]

Thank you so much for reading my very long rant....you are so correct in my feelings...I am very frustrated at my job. I always go above and beyond and am never noticed but always asked to do more. I just feel better because you understood exactly what I was feeling...there are other incidents that have happened at this job that have made me very bitter and I guess I am frustrated that things always get brushed under the rug when it is for certain individuals. Thank you again for listening....it means a lot to me just to get it out and be heard.

[SheWrote]

I am so sorry you are feeling unseen and unheard and unappreciated. I have been there and I know what it feels like. Unfortunately, sometimes it won't change until you believe in yourself and know that you are seen, heard, and appreciated, because of who you are! Maybe that is a good place for you to try and get too... forget about everyone else, know who you are and believe in yourself! You are amazing! HUGS!

[RazzleDazzleAlone in reply to SheWrote]

Thank you so much for even responding...I just feel like I don't matter to anyone or anything...it hurts so much inside. I guess you are right I have to matter to myself...I just have to try and take those steps and not worry about what others think of me. Thank you again for your kind words and the hug just when I need it the most.

Take care of yourself in these crazy times...hugs back to you!