depressed and lonely

[morenews]

Hello, everybody. I am not alone, i have a wonderful husband and i have other family members, but i am lonely in what i feel. And i am lonely because i lost my job in february and i don't know how not to work and be content. I found a project which supposedly should be over in the middle of august, but yesterday it was stopped without any warnings(not my fault, we had 6 people, everybody was great, but client decided not to continue for technical reasons). I did feel depressed before i found this project and i felt happy when i found it. People were nice, work was not boring and not too stressful. Now i feel like i am not just back in my bad mood which was before project started, but much worse...My husband is at work, and i am alone, trying to do things around the house, create a plan for getting a job again. the thing is that i can feel that my age (59) and situation that i am trying to get a job in a little bit easier field that i was before(the previous one was very intense and i feel that i need something less stressful, i was working in that field for 19 years at the same office till february), make it more difficult for me to find a job or temp project. But i would like to feel ok regardless of that , and i am not in a good place now mentally at all. I have bouts of anxiety all my life, because of job or family issues(relationship with my mother, for example), but not it is different. It is mostly depression and hopelessness. This state makes me not want anything or not be active, i am losing purpose and feel worthless. My husband works so hard and he deserves peace and my support when he is the one who works now, and i don't want to burden him with my state, i want to cheer him up instead. Besides he does not know how to deal with my bad mood, i know that from previous experiences. I am used to look for help somewhere else. thank you for letting me to open up here. I would appreciate help and support. thank you

[littleorange8]

hi, do you know why you feel depressed, hopeless, and lonely? is it because you feel like your job loss signified that you are not good enough? sometimes things are out of our control and is NOT a reflection of who we are as a person. for loneliness, do you have close friends who can take you out to do things you like? feel free to msg me

[morenews in reply to littleorange8]

thank you so much. when i lost my job in february i did feel that i am not strong enough and pathetic even(there were some options but because of anxiety and low self esteem i did not use those options), but now -it is not me at all who is responsible for end of this project. I only felt that the project gave me such energy and helped me to get rid of depression, and i am scared to get sucked in this darkness again. I am not there yet, and have to tell myself to stay in a moment and not think about tomorrow...

[Agora1]

Hi "morenews".. you've found a safe place to come to where people understand and support each other. Having family and friends around you is a blessing but having people who really understand what you are going through emotionally, is just as important.

Here we are only a message away. We'll get through this together with the help of all these wonderful people on the forum. You're never alone. xx

[morenews in reply to Agora1]

thank you, it is so comforting for me to read this: we'll get through this together...this is what i need at the moment, thank you many times

[Agora1 in reply to morenews]

xx

[ZenGiraffe]

Hello morenews, I hope you’re hanging in there. I’ve been out of work for 5 years because of my depression, and I get lonely at home while my husband is at work too. In the beginning of the year I started volunteering at a local place to help the time pass and give me a feeling of contributing, that helped quite a bit until my depression started worsening again, but maybe this could be a good middle ground. It’s MUCH less anxiety provoking to volunteer, if I couldn’t make it in due to a particularly bad mental day, there was no concern of being fired. Good luck and try to keep your head up.

[morenews in reply to ZenGiraffe]

thank you for sharing and supporting me, understanding how i feel. Yes, i was thinking of volunteering as well. I don't give up on finding a job yet, even part time or temp. the last project lifted my spirits so much, this is why i am so upset that they kicked us out without warning.