Feeling down today

[Shihtzu7]

I’m feeling very down today...and that bothers me because I’ve been doing well for so long! I took an overdose 1/2/19, recovered from that after days in ICU and a long hospitalization. My husband was, and has been amazing and supportive. One daughter who is a psychologist, was so-so but got better. My older daughter who lives in the same town (a bit of a narcissist), was very angry & refused to ck on me in the hsp or ask her Dad how I was doing. She’s blamed me for my depression & my act, why didn’t I get help, etc. I tried to explain that I didn’t even realize how bad I was until that day (her Dad knew I wanted to take pills & was feeling bad but didn’t think I would-left me to go bowling-but she doesn’t blame him because he’s her perfect Dad). She’s hasn’t spoken to me since...over a year & I haven’t seen my 3 teenage granddaughters. Send them birthday/Christmas presents but don’t hear from them. My therapist & psychiatrist tell me I can only control what I do, not others. I’ve reached out to her many times by text asking if we can meet & talk...wherever she wants to...but no response. She won’t take my phone calls. Reached out to her husband but no response. Her sister wants to stay out of it. Today it’s getting me down. Her youngest is in her Senior Ice Show in March & we plan to go...I know we’ll see my daughter...it’s making me nervous & bringing on anxiety. She’s also graduating high school in June & we’ll show up to Graduation. I’m almost paralyzed with anxiety today...can’t do anything I was supposed to do today. My husband worked this morning & then did his bowling league so I’m alone all day. I have no family or friends...no one to talk with. Therapist discharged me awhile ago because she said there wasn’t much she could do for me. I was doing so much better. Thanks for listening

[Hidden]

I'm sorry that all of this is happening to you. If you want to talk about it, you can PM me

[Hidden]

Hi, I'm very sorry to hear this. Your daughter is very very unfortunate that she doesn't want to have a good relationship with her kind and loving mother. You have a right to meet her and your granddaughters. You are her mother so you love her so much but she is so mean to you. Don't worry, if she is doing that kind of behaviour with you now maybe her kids will do the same to her one day. You want her wellness because you are her mother. She doesn't deserve such a loving mother ❤️

Don't worry about her and don't upset about going to the senior ice show. Just relax your mind. I assure you that nothing bad will happen. You will go to the show happily and will come home happily and content. Take care of your health and keep yourself busy in positive activities. Don't think negative thoughts. I know it's hard but you can do it. Read a good book or enjoy your favorite movie. Drink a cup of green tea. Wear a nice dress and wear some makeup. Have a peaceful sleep 😴💤 and do what your therapist and phsyciatrist say to you. Don't be sad. You are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏❤️❣️

[Shihtzu7 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your thoughts. I do try to stay busy. I love to crochet and that keeps me busy & also reading. I need to get over this fear I’ve developed of my daughter....like she has some power over me. I know it’s not true. But it gets my stomach in knots

[Hidden in reply to Shihtzu7]

I'm happy to know that you love crochet and reading. What kind of books you read? I love reading too. Did you read a a classic novel named Little Women? That's my favorite book. Why don't you read self help books. I read them and they are very beneficial. Your daughter has NO power over you!

You are her mother and you have the power over her. You are very brave and strong person. I admire you. Don't be afraid of your daughter. What do you crochet? Will you crochet a sweater for me?

Just kidding 😁😉

I hope you are feeling better now. I can talk to you more if you want to 😊

[Shihtzu7 in reply to Hidden]

I crochet my little granddaughters 4 & 1 that belong to my daughter that lives a few hours away some hats, I do blankets. My 4 year old granddaughter is into anything rainbow & asked for a rainbow Afghan after I made them a Christmas one. I’m doing one now for her in a star shape. When I’m done I’ll do a different blanket for her sister

I have a kindle and get lots of free books every day to read on it. I love mysteries, cozy mystery-books like that. I have found Joyce Meyer books have helped me a lot.

I know my daughter doesn’t have power over me....but it feels like she does. Like she’s the one who has the power to fix our relationship. When I close my eyes & see us...I see her as this dark entity looming over me. I used to be 5’4” and now I’m 5’. She’s 5’6-5’7”. So much taller than me. For a long time she’d been making fun of me and poking jabs at me but then covering it up as though it was humor. Never in front of her Dad. I was always shocked & hurt by it but never called her on it. She’s 45 & thought she would know better. Guess not

[Hidden in reply to Shihtzu7]

That's wonderful ❣️😊

You crochet for your granddaughters. It's so lovely to know. You like mystery, cozy mystery novels. I love to hear that because I like mystery novels very much. When I was little my grandma crochet for me. She made me hat and sweater's. Did you read the signed R.L Stine? He writes for teenager's but his novels are very nice. I'm an adult but I read them. He writes mystery, suspence.

Did you read the novel sweet damage? It's phsycological mystery. Did you read the novel find me? It's an amazing mystery novel. I have many books, me my sister's my mother love reading.

I have two sisters and we all like mystery novels. When me and my mother read the novel, we discusse their story.

I can understand you know that your daughter has NO power over you. She is 45 but still she has no sense how to treat her loving and kind mother. How UNFORTUNATE she is!

Don't even think about her. She doesn't deserve you. I can understand that you are her mother so you love her dearly. Someday when her daughter's will grow up, maybe they will treat her this way, she treats you today. It doesn't matter if she is taller than you. In reality you are TALLER than her because you are her mother and you always try to make the relationship better between both of you. In reality, there is always one person is taller than others who is kind and loving!

She is making fun of you, that's disgusting. Shame on her!

She doesn't do it in the presence of her father. What a shameless person!

If you want to talk to me more, I can talk to you 😊

[Hidden]

Don't think you're lonely. We all are with you ❤️💗

[Poodie]

Hi Shihtzu,

I am sorry your daughter is treating you so badly. She is being mean and disrespectful towards you. It is terrible to withhold her children from you and also to be such a bad example for them.

Can you get yourself a new therapist who can help you ? Or go back to your former therapist if you think she can be helpful? This sounds like something you could talk more about and at least get some support, especially since you said that you have no one else. Can you talk to your husband ? Does he notice the way she treats you? Posting here should be helpful, because people here are kind, understanding, and want to help and support you. You are not alone with your troubles.

Have you ever stood up to her ? Next time she treats you this way maybe you can look her in the eye very sternly and say that you will no longer put up with her insulting you. (You may have to practice this first with yourself ... sort of do dry runs.) Maybe at least think about this, pick and choose and decide what you can do differently towards her. You could add that she obviously has a problem with you, you are sorry, you have no idea what it is, but she is being disrespectful and mean. And if she wants to have a meaningful conversation about what her problem with you is, you are available to talk or better yet to go to a therapist with her. After you offer this, do not let her be disrespectful.

Next time she starts to say anything mean or insulting just walk away and if possible interact with someone else in the room or busy yourself elsewhere. Your daughter must know how cruel she is because she is trying to hide it from others.

People like this often can not change but at least perhaps she will control herself towards you. Of course you love her and wish she was different. Maybe someday she will be.

It is said that the silent treatment is the most painful thing you can do to someone. She is doing this to you by withholding herself and your grandchildren from you.

If you remain vulnerable, she will keep it up unless she realizes her behavior and gets some help for herself. Sounds like she is bullying you. It is so important to respect yourself and your feelings first and foremost. All you will be doing is calmly (hopefully )standing up for yourself.

I did this with a family member who treated me that way. Instead of just taking it, or ignoring it as usual, I let myself get angry because I was truly entirely sick of it and I was getting depressed the more I encountered this person. It did work eventually but this person acted like I was being psychotic first. That’s a just standard response to standing up to someone like this, so you may get the same. Understand that this is her problem to fix, not yours.

I hope you can let yourself have a wonderful time at the ice show. Enjoy seeing your grandchildren ! Please don’t let her treatment of you ruin this for you. That is not respecting and loving yourself.

Absolutely no one should be treated that way and you will provide your grandkids with a good example.

Take care. I wish you the best. Keep posting here ! ❤️