feeling really alone

[CLB1125]

I don’t have any friends I see regularly. I have my daughter, my sister and my niece. My daughter has a highly stressful job and is married with her own life. My sister has been acting strangely lately so we don’t talk much anymore. So then there’s my niece. We’ve been through a lot together. She just lives a ways down the road. She’s my best friend and my confidante. She comes over and we go in the pool together. I would go to her house for coffee. We talk a lot about our troubles. Well she found a new man. She just informed me she may move in with him in the fall. She will be an hour away. I feel lost right now. She’s the only one I talk to when my depression or anxiety get out of control. I already notice she hasn’t had time for me. She hardly texts me back anymore. And hasn’t been over to swim for over a week. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy she found someone. She’s been alone for over 15 years. But when she told me the news I felt like someone died. I suddenly felt so sad. I won’t have anyone. I hate depression!! I hate anxiety! I hate my life

[012703060610]

Hang in there. I too have no one near me. I had to move across the country with a disability and it is very hard to make friends. I have my husband and 3 little kids, so I understand that if anyone were to leave, it is crushing. I happen to be alone these two weeks as my Ex has the kids and my husband is doing somethings for himself. I have been terrified since he left, gotten sick as dog and feel down in the dumps. However, if I can get well enough, I intend to volunteer somewhere in hopes to meet some caring folks. I think any volunteering type of activities are a great way to meet. It is low stress because you can simply go and work or you can try to socialize a bit if you are up to it. This is my plan or I hope it can be my plan for friends. I also found a few groups in the area....women's support dinners, YMCA events. I am just not in a position to try and I still need to work on my social phobia that I recently gained since covid. Totally understand the pit in your stomach. Of course you are happy, but I get it.....it is so hard! We are here for you.

[CLB1125 in reply to 012703060610]

thank you. I too am disabled so keeping myself busy is hard. I fear people in social situations. I would like to volunteer at the animal shelter but just can’t get myself to do it.

[012703060610 in reply to CLB1125]

One day at a time. There may be a day you feel up to exploring. We can both hope we can get into volunteering. I think it's a good longer term goal with no pressure.

[Willow2022]

Hey CLB… it can be rough. Even though I am currently doing well I still have sudden swings of depressive thoughts and the beginnings of panic attacks. In the past (we just moved) I volunteered at a local animal shelter and at a hospital. Both were really good for my mental health. The hospital kept me super busy and socialized but the animal shelter got me out of the house.

I was so nervous at first (isn’t weird how you can be nervous when donating your own time?!??) but I soon loved just walking the dogs or sitting in a cat room reading. It gave me a purpose past my husband and children which is a wonderful job but let’s face it, can be overwhelming.

It wouldn’t hurt to just poke around online at volunteer opportunities. Maybe one will speak to you.

[Gealtachta]

Hi CLB,

I understand where you are coming from. I have friends but no one I see much. I had a friend across the street who I could talk to but she moved away from the city. My sister lives an hour away and doesn’t drive. My 21 year old daughter lives here which is nice, most of the time! Lol My 26 year old daughter lives 5 hours away.

Where do you meet people when you are older? A lot of people are married so I find they are busy with their families. I do work full time so it doesn’t leave a lot of free time.

Keep coming on here, you aren’t alone.

G😺

[NicCed5]

Hi CLB,

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I moved with my ex 3000 miles away across the country several years ago now. I didn’t know anyone other than distant family out here, all my ex and I had were each other. Well he’s since decided he isn’t happy in the relationship anymore and broke up with me right before the pandemic shut everything down, and went on to spend all his time with a new set of people. It’s been a really weird time trying to make new friends and meet people. Everyone seems in their own little world with their own priorities. I never had difficulty making friends growing up, and I still have some friends I keep close with but they are thousands of miles away. I’m coming very close to making a decision to move back which feels pathetic and like I am giving up but at the same time I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried volunteering, I’ve tried various different things but nothing seems to stick in terms of friendships. So I just want you to know that you are not alone. I’ve had similar situations where people I’ve grown close with out here have found significant others and then basically dropped off the face of the earth. It is super painful because, at least from what I feel, it is a sense of abandonment which is something I struggle with. I wish I had more answers for you to help you through this but I just wanted to assure you you’re not alone! Loneliness and isolation are a deep issue for many people. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find a deep connection with someone very soon.