10 years ago today my Mom passed away. Every year this day always hits me hard. I miss her so much and so much has changed since she left me. It’s just so hard.
Recently my friend, who I talk to every day, just stopped talking to me. And ignored my messages. And by ignored, I mean put me in the spam/ignored messages file on fb messenger. I had a friend message as well and their message got delivered while mine didn’t. I didn’t do anything wrong but yet I feel like I did. It seems I’m always so easy for people to leave or forget or ignore. I so want to message and ask why but I’m restraining myself from doing so. It hurts. A lot.
All I’ve been doing is crying and being hard on myself. I can’t believe they would do that; over nothing!
I feel completely alone. And wondering what the point is anymore.
Written by
BrownEyesBlue
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I know what rejection is like!. If l were you l would not let myself open to more hury by asking why. I recently heard a former friend of one of my family completely diss me 'cos she believed the crappy things people from my former workplace had said about me. I welcomed that girl into my home warmly. I was in utter shock at her venom for a week.
I soldier on.. You know you did nothong wrong . Try to be strong
This person cannot be worth your time.
Could it be by accident your messages were selected to go to wrong place?
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I understand that even if its accident or on purpose that it could trigger painful feelings
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Sorry you are in so much pain BrownEyes. Im so sorry for your loss 😞🌸🌷🌼
Thank you for understanding. I didn’t do anything wrong. People just seem to get tired of me and leave me. I just should get use to being alone. I feel in a very dark place tonight. I don’t want to be here anymore.
Noone thinks for one moment that you did anything wrong. You deserve as much love and friendship as anyone else.
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It is possible. A few years ago a friend of mine sent me a message ranting how she couldn't believe I'd unfriended her - I hadn't (I always think I need a cull then don't get round to it so I know I didn't unfriend her by accident as I hadn't unfriended anyone)Facebook does these odd things from time to time. I had people moan about being sent requests in games on facebook and I said that's why I never send any as I don't like pestering and they said I was one of the worst culprits!!!!
I cant judge whether this is purposeful or not. But I do know that people can accidentally select the wrong option at times. Im not saying this is the case or not. But I do know it happens. Personally speaking, I could easily be guilty of something like this and accidentally clicking the option to send someone's messages to the wrong place. To be honest Ive done it! And I was really sorry. Maybe you could direct message them on their phone to let them know you Facebook messaged them and take it from there? They may have a good explanation.
Either way and whatever the reasons are, I know its not your fault and you havent done anything wrong. It seems to me from the way you express yourself that you are very sincere and you also are very caring too to make your friend a priority. Whatever happens with your friend I know its good to try and reach out to others too even if its in simple ways like letting them know you are thinking of them. That way others can enjoy your genuine personality too and hopefully you can build more connections with others too.
I'm so sorry dear. I can't imagine how it's like. Feeling unloved and pathetic is one of the worst feelings ever. Let me tell you that you are not. That even though I don't know you, I know everyone has something beautiful. And you just need to find the people who see that.
I never said I was unloved or pathetic. I said I was very hurt and felt very alone; that people leave me all the time. I’m glad you “can’t imagine how it’s like”;
Lucky you! That seems a little insensitive to be honest.
I said unloved and pathetic because that's how I felt when I was alone and when people would leave me, and a lot of people feel that way too because they are convinced there was nothing good about them since no one would stay....It wasn't insensitive I was just understanding that I don't know your pain because what you experienced was very different from me because I never had a true mother to begin with since she was abusive. Maybe you should consider what the other person was coming from before responding. Anyways, I hope you have a better day because it seriously seems like you need it.
It's okay. I hope you're feeling better. I don't know how it's like to navigate this kind of loss but looking through the comments it seems like other people do. I hope you found comfort within them and they were able to say the words you needed to hear.
My Mum passed away 4 years ago last May and it can still have me sobbing, like when you remember something she liked or a memory from years past and realise you'll never be with her again.
And I too lost of friend over it - she couldn't deal with my depression (or at least I think that's what happened, I too didn't ask) The irony was she'd been in the same place a few years earlier and I gave her space to grieve while being there for her and it hurt that she couldn't give it back.
Don't dwell on it, just think she wasn't that good a friend anyway.
I also lost a facebook friend - she would email me with pages of what she'd been up to but because I was in a black hole of grief I only replied with a couple of lines and she ditched me over that!!!! Selfish..............and no sleep lost over that one, lol.
I think what hurts me the most is this was the ONLY person I would talk to for days sometimes. No one else checks in or messages; I have no one 😔. I made them a priority. And they just ignore me now and don’t respond. My heart hurts.
I can understand your grief from loosing your mom. Have you considered talking to a counselor to help you cope? The anniversary of loss is so hard. It's okay to give yourself that day to remember and grieve. I wouldn't take anything to heart with social media. It's not real life. If you haven't heard from your friend in a week then just give her a call to ask how she is. If then she doesn't want to connect, maybe ask why. All you can do is try. But just try to get the facts. It may cut down on alot of wonder and hurt feelings. I had a college roomie one time that had never experienced loss. No matter what, she just could not relate to my feelings and never knew what to say. Believe me, it was better she avoided me at times. She still wanted to be my friend but didn't know how.
Sorry for your loss. There is no timeframe for grief, and anniversaries can hit hard. My dad's been gone for almost 6 yrs and there's still moments I wish I could call and talk to him and I get a little teary eyed. For me, it helps to focus on the good times we had, then I don't feel quite so much loss. As for the friend, not answering doesn't necessarily mean she blocked you. It could be that she is at a loss as to what to say, especially on this anniversary. Sometimes people avoid talking to those who are grieving because they may feel helpless. And in a way, they are. They can't "fix" the situation, and that can make it hard to find a response. Maybe give her a break for a few days, then try messaging her again. Prayers for peace and reconciliation.
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