Feeling down

[Callie67]

I wake up every morning depressed and lonely. Everyday feels the same to me. I can’t believe it’s the end of April already. I’ve lost the past 5 months to anxiety, depression and this concussion. I haven’t worked since Black Friday. My husband works 7 days a week so I spend the majority of my days alone. I can’t drive. Everyone else works so I’m left to myself. I’m not even supposed to be on my phone but without this site and FB I truly would be alone and even more depressed.

Saw my concussion physical therapist last night and she’s happy with the progressing I’m making. I should feel happy and encouraged and I did then, but not now.

I hate never knowing how I’m going to feel from day to day or even minute to minute. Sometimes I get hit with a quick dizzy spell with no warning and it’s like wtf?

Everyday feels the same. Wake up, watch shower, pray/meditate, do my chores. Get ready for whatever appt I have that day. I know it’s not permanent. I know I’m doing everything I can to get healthier in all areas of my life. I guess I wish I felt happier about it.

[Sober2007]

Thanks for sharing Callie. It does sound like you are doing all you can to get better and I'm sure it is challenging! I woke up this morning initially feeling pretty good but then my anxiety started to kick in. Right now I'm trying to calm myself down. All of the ups and downs are difficult. I just want to feel consistently better. I know what you mean about wishing you could be happier with the daily routine. I wish I were happier about it as well. I guess everyone has to deal with that some, even if they don't have depression or anxiety.

[Callie67 in reply to Sober2007]

And it sucks when you randomly start feeling anxious or depressed. Sometimes it’ll just hit me and it’s like, okaaay. I was in a good mood, what just happened?? I’m sorry you go through the same things.

[Sober2007 in reply to Callie67]

Yep - that's exactly what I experience. It's usually worse for me in the morning though, so I try to keep reminding myself that it will pass.

[Callie67 in reply to Sober2007]

Mornings can be harder for me too. I heard we make more cortisol in the morning, so it makes sense. :/

[pianoplayer90]

I know how you feel with your therapy--I had a back injury that was muscular and required physical therapy. The progress was very slow, and even though I should've been happy with the improvement, however incremental it was, I was mainly frustrated and depressed I needed it in the first place. I hope you keep progressing, and eventually reach your recovery.

[Callie67 in reply to pianoplayer90]

Yes! I’m so mad I even need to be going through it. That my life has been so completely disrupted. That I need to rely on people for rides to all these appts. Are you finished your therapy?

[pianoplayer90 in reply to Callie67]

I know what you mean about life disruption. I tweaked my back volunteering for an organic, sustainable energy farm, and once it happened, I thought--this is the last thing I need. I went through enough that now I'm supposed to be doing it myself at home, but I haven't been at all, which isn't a good thing. The exercises are just so repetitive and boring...I'm sort of hoping it gets better from daily exercise, but I probably do need to do targeted exercises. The pain's mostly gone but I still experience discomfort and instability.

[Callie67 in reply to pianoplayer90]

Ugh so you got hurt doing a good deed, that’s messed up! I guess any exercise is better than nothing but yeah, should probably do targeted ones. Maybe you can break them up throughout the day? My PT told me I can break up mine but they’re so annoying I’d rather plow through and be done with it.

[pianoplayer90 in reply to Callie67]

I know, I had similar sentiments. It's hard to continuously do something when you're not certain of full recovery.

[Callie67 in reply to pianoplayer90]

I’m so afraid of relapsing! The post concussion hit out of nowhere so how can you ever know you’re fully healed.. it’s a scary thought. Gives me a lot of anxiety.

[Coralrose5]

I’m going through some of the same things... I don’t drive because of anxiety and right now I’m not working because I’m in between jobs. My last job was a temp job. I have anxiety and depression. My days are spent very similarly to yours. I have no where to go outside if the house except appointments. My hubby works a lot and we have no family or friends nearby.

[Callie67 in reply to Coralrose5]

That sounds really isolating and lonely, I’m sorry you have to go through it too. It can be really really tough.

[Coralrose5 in reply to Callie67]

Ya it is lonely. My job just ended last week so it’s only been a couple days of being home alone. I have therapy classes to go to so at least I have something. I feel pretty hopeless though

[Callie67 in reply to Coralrose5]

Sometimes I’m relieved when I have appts bc I can get out of the house and be around people. Why hopeless?

[Coralrose5 in reply to Callie67]

That would be depression. I guess it boils down to thinking I won’t feel better

[Callie67 in reply to Coralrose5]

That’s exactly what I’m going through. I’ve had so many unresolved health issues so I get really anxious and depressed thinking I’ll be stuck with this concussion forever.

[Timmypliskin]

I'm sorry your having to go thru this,

I know a dramatic event can lead to a cascade effect of issues, that can be create so many other problems, it's easy to get lost in it all.. I hope you have a better day.

[Callie67 in reply to Timmypliskin]

You definitely nailed it my friend. I feel like a lot of things have snowballed the past few months! Today was a good day, still feeling unhappy though. Wish there was a happy switch lol

[Timmypliskin]

No dought! If I figure out the happy switch.... I'll let you know...

[JkBrauer]

Hi Callie,

It sounds like you keeping strong and healthy, that is a plus. How is your social life? People are not made to go through life by ourselves. Do you have family or friends who you can talk to and visit with? If you are not a people person how about a pet- a dog or cat, a bird...? Do you get out and walk around enjoy nature- the park, feeding the ducks, biking, hiking, baseball, basketball- how about getting out and volunteering? Coaching a little league team, serve food at the homeless shelter, help out at school...? How about baking cookies for a sick or older housebound neighbor? How about getting involved in a church and get to meet other people through the church activities?... I found that when I keep myself involved and active in helping others I started to feel about myself. It gave me a purpose and something to live for.

[Callie67 in reply to JkBrauer]

My social life is pretty limited right now because of my concussion. I can do things but only a little at a time. Have definitely even getting cabin fever now that spring is here!