Counseling Help

[sarahmcf]

What traits do you find necessary in your counselor or maybe even in the environment of their office? My 1st counselor was very chill and had the most calming room. She also had an emotional support rabbit. I had to stop seeing her due to insurance issues. My 2nd counselor’s office was like a bright closet at a doctors office. It was not relaxing and I found it hard to open up to her. I was going to go back to my 1st counselor and just pay out of pocket but she has decided to sell her practice. Now I’m looking for a new therapist that I actually feel comfortable enough with.

[Hidden]

Sometimes they can’t choose the room they have. I look for empathy and working on goals for sessions both. A comfy couch or chair is awesome & hope they have some plants or pictures that aren’t so clinical. I need someone I can argue with and has a sweet touch the empathy thing. I like ones that share experiences if not theirs others so I feel opened up too and real.

[sarahmcf in reply to Hidden]

I get that. My most recent one was just like going in for any other medical appointment though, which I don’t like doing haha. And although I could tell my counselor cared I just didn’t feel like we vibed. I still never felt completely okay to open up to her.

[Hidden in reply to sarahmcf]

Exactly. Medical appointments are stressful so it’s not serving your nervous system to relax in that environment. I see psychiatrist too I hate his office it’s dirty covered in books waiting room chairs I feel like I’m in a closet. My therapists office has a lovely couch carpet pillows nice lighting it’s like a girlie catalogue where do you think I like going and feel like I’m heard. Lol

[sarahmcf in reply to Hidden]

Haha. My 1st therapist was almost like mood lighting. Very bohemian themed. Lavender scents. And she has a rabbit as a comfort animal. I really wished I could have just stayed seeing her.

[Hidden in reply to sarahmcf]

Right ?!! It makes your nervous system relax and cut off from the stress like you’re talking to a divine person and the rabbit is awesome !! I have ptsd I used to go pet some horses in a park by where I lived I moved away they saved me one got used to me & would rest it’s head on my shoulder & relax while I pet it. It’s hard to find people like her

[sarahmcf in reply to Hidden]

I found a therapist about an hour from me(I live in a rural community) that also has horses she can bring into her counseling sessions and was really considering pursuing her.

[Hidden in reply to sarahmcf]

You should try it out. I never had a rabbit or an animal in counseling I’d love it !! The thing is with horses they’re so big and that’s scary (for me I’ve not ridden a horse 25 years) to be able to pet lean into them face fear and feel their warmth. It saved me back then helping my dad through cancer. I’d go there and cry and be in nature and feel I had connection. If you do it maybe you’ll like it too. Would be great if she had a nice room for her sessions ... she may have thought of it. I wonder if it’s on her ranch or something that would really rock

[sarahmcf in reply to Hidden]

It seems she has a small farm with other animals. I loved horses as a kid and haven’t rode since a teenager, but I’ve always had the ambition to. As an adult I am a little skittish of them since it’s been so long. Maybe this could be a great idea. Achieve counseling and maybe restore a lost passion I once had.

[Hidden in reply to sarahmcf]

It sounds worth a shot! Hopefully she’s affordable & her method in therapy is helpful. I’d be all over that to try. Let me know how it’s going if you follow through on that. Wish I was there !!

[sarahmcf in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I will. I appreciate all of your input. 😊

[2resistant]

I've had enough of the way Therapists are too often so passive and calm. Gentle. Sympathetic. I NEED someone to stand there ground and be proactive, push me if need be. Otherwise, I just go round in circles, again & again & again...

[sarahmcf in reply to 2resistant]

I get that. Although my first therapist was very chill she also asked challenging questions and kept conversation flowing. With my other therapist she really never talked and I didn’t like that. I liked having feedback from my therapist and more challenging questions.

[horsechic1990]

I am a Christian so I would prefer that my counselor was Christian as well, so that they would understand and be sensitive to my religious beliefs and my spiritual needs. I would also require my counselor to be understanding and professional but friendly.

[sarahmcf in reply to horsechic1990]

Completely understandable!

[2resistant]

Most therapy I've had has been a mixture of 1 to 1 counselling and groups. Be it for addiction & recovery (past), social anxiety specific or general mixed mental health groups.

I had 1 NHS Psychotherapist. Her teachings were based around Jung's theory.

It was a small room. I sat on a 2 seat comfy sofa which allowed me to move around and lean to one side. Well lit, with blinds open and the light was on. Not too bright.

Most of the time she also sat there and said little, but when she did speak it was very specific & thought-provoking.

She allowed me to find my own answers while assisting me all the way, in little doses. Even if I asked a question, like "Is that right/wrong? Am I making sense? What do you think?", she would reply with something like "How does that make you feel? Do YOU think it is right/wrong? What makes you think/say that?"

Eventually, I discovered a major incident from my past that was niggling away at me all the time was not my fault, though I'd convinced myself that it was, must have been. I had labelled myself.

It demolished the brick wall I'd made and I was able to just let go. It is still there but I've never been bothered by it since. Now, when it 'pops up' I can think about it without the slightest hint of pain. Then it is gone again. It no longer has a hold on me.

That's the best way I can describe it.

[sarahmcf in reply to 2resistant]

Thank you for sharing your experience!