I Need Help with Bipolar Friend

[emmi331]

I have seen many of you post here who have bipolar disorder. I am a member here because of GAD.

I have been fine for about 3 years now; my last episode of anxiety/depression lasted for several months. I am asking your help because I can feel my anxiety starting to manifest, due to having to deal with a close friend. I will call her Amy. For decades she dealt with depression, and it was getting to the point where her meds didn't seem to work. Her last depressive episode lasted for over a year and a half and was relentless. Then one day it was as if a light switch went on and suddenly she was euphoric, happy, happy, happy! Life was wonderful again, and she's been all over the map - going here, going there, talking excessively, up by 6a.m. when she used to sleep until 8, and having lots of activities and plans. Not to mention shopping almost compulsively. Now, I'm not a psychiatrist, but this sounds like bipolar behavior and maybe she's in a manic or hypomanic period. (She had gone through an episode of extreme talkativeness prior to her depression, and almost drove her friends to drink.) She is scheduled to see a counselor and a psychiatrist in the next few weeks. Until then, and perhaps they will see what I do, right now she may be dealing with untreated bipolar disorder.

A friend who is bipolar told me the best thing to do is love her - from a distance, but keep being there for when she crashes. She says setting boundaries is important, using a bit of tough love as needed. Because I think her mental state is triggering MY mental state (anxiety), I feel a need to protect myself by telling her I love her, but we need space between us until she knows for sure what is going on. I will be happy to text with her, but no phone calls or face to face interaction. Because, believe me, I can't go on like this - it's breaking my heart to see her sickness , but Amy's behavior is disrupting my peace of mind and raising my anxiety level. Any help would be appreciated!

[Shnookie]

Go with your gut feeling. U need to protect yourself. It sounds like your friend might be having manic episodes. These R difficult to deal with.

[emmi331 in reply to Shnookie]

Thank you so much.

[Shnookie in reply to emmi331]

U R very welcome 🙏. I’m here 4 U

[OtOFrance]

Hello, emmi331 I hope you are fine today ?

My wife has this bi-polar syndrome. And I know, with the words or the subjects she talks about when she's on the "down" way.

What I do then ? Well, I am a human and I react like a human. Sometimes I will be full with compassion, patience and care and will hold her hand while she's going down, sometimes I will feel angry and frustrated and this will achieve to an argument.

I think there is no - if you want to protect yourself - good not bad way. There is the way to act when things are going wrong. And, as your friend is "just" a friend, you have no engagement of long term support.

You are as important as your friend is. And you need to protect yourself when your friend is down. Maybe asking some "tips" to a therapist or a suport line may give some "tools", but you always need to think "me first", because this is the truth.

Hope this helps a bit

Love from France

O

[emmi331 in reply to OtOFrance]

Thank you for your kind reply. When Amy is down, we don't see much of her, though we all keep in touch pretty much daily. It's the "up" period that is driving me into anxiety.