Introduction

[TheEmptyNest]

Hi everyone,

I thought I would introduce myself. My name is Jennifer and I just went through my third severe anxiety/ depression event. My first two were the result of postpartum issues, and I had been managing very well for 20 years. (I do think there was still some stuff going on just under the surface, but I was managing well.). Then in September my 21 year old daughter called in the middle of the night from college. She had ended a romantic relationship and was saying that she didn’t think that her life was worth living. I raced to her college.. (3 hours away,) and got her set up on meds, with a psychiatrist and a counselor. ... and then I basically had a nervous breakdown. Insomnia, anxiety, depression, the works. It was HORRIBLE. I’m still trying to recover... and unfortunately my beautiful daughter is one of my triggers. (If she gets upset at all, I take steps backwards.). I’m on 20 mg Lexapro and 15 mg mirtazapine at night. Thank you for the support. I’m praying for us all.

[All_alone]

Hi Jennifer and welcome. I hope this site helps you as it has me.

[Coloradowalker]

I too am so connected to how my girls feel. My oldest is a freshman in college and has struggled with anxiety which is a huge trigger for me. I think it’s because we love them so completely it’s hard to imagine their pain. I also had post partum symptoms and wonder if hormones play a role in all of this (perimenopause now). Either way, I’m sorry you are struggling and would be happy to be your sounding board!!❤️

[TheEmptyNest in reply to Coloradowalker]

It is so nice to know that I’m not alone! Let’s get through this together!

[hitbyasegway]

Hi Jennifer,

I am 22 and I first experienced depression and anxiety after a romantic relationship ended for me a few years back. I managed to build myself back up enough to find someone else, someone so much better. However when that relationship ended, I was back in the same place. I can see how my mom is affected by my depression and anxiety and I feel awful for her. I do not know your daughter, but hopefully her bond with you and love for you is strong. Whenever I think of hurting myself, I remember how hurt my mom would be and I don't do it. Your daughter is VERY lucky to have a mother like you. My mom is just as supportive and caring, but I know far too many girls whose mothers would never drive three hours just to help them with this. I am praying for her, seeing that her and I are in incredibly similar situations and I know how awful and gut wrenching this is, and for you and your family that you may all heal and can move forward.

[TheEmptyNest in reply to hitbyasegway]

Oh my sweet girl! Please know that we are ALL more than our romantic relationships! I know that your mom loves you more than you could possibly imagine. ♥️

[Annabelle61]

Welcome Jennifer - I’ve had a lot of support here & hope you find the same. Although I didn’t have postpartum depression I’ve always suffered with anxiety and found it has heightened as my daughters have grown with how much I worry about them & worry with health anxiety & getting sick & not being here for them . Currently I’m on 10 mg Lexapro and have .5 Ativan for emergencies.

My oldest recently had a miscarriage- her first baby & I’m devastated for her & feeling myself spiraling down into extreme anxiety- I hope we both find peace !❤️

[TheEmptyNest in reply to Annabelle61]

I’m so sorry that your daughter is going through this hard time. ... and I can only imagine that it hurts to watch. Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone. ♥️

[Hidden]

Hi there empty nest thank goodness you were there to support your daughter. When you have both recovered you will look back and be closer than ever. Hope your daughter has turned the corner and can recover at home. Am sure you will better with sleep and knowing she is getting better.

[TheEmptyNest in reply to Hidden]

She is doing better... Thank God. I’m SO looking forward to the day when we look back and say, “well, that was a huge bummer, thank God it’s over!” ♥️

[Hidden in reply to TheEmptyNest]

Sure it won't be too long before she is well again. Trust in boyfriends goes downhill after a broken heart. She will see in time her ex was no good for her and may be even change her career so she can train near home. Broken relationships are so painful .

[EEMO]

Sorry about that Jennifer, I hope you seek counseling. I'm not a Dr. and wouldn't tell you no meds . Talking with another person can do wonders.

[TheEmptyNest in reply to EEMO]

I’m in counseling and taking my medications... even doing regular yoga. I’m just waiting for everything to work! It’s been really hard.

[UHART]

I’ve been there with my 20 year old daughter away at school. we hurt so much when they do. I’m trying to let her be independent but it’s difficult. You are not alone. I found talking to a counselor about it helped since my husband is of no support

[TheEmptyNest in reply to UHART]

I’m so sorry that your husband isn’t supportive. Mine is getting tired of dealing with me, but he is trying. ♥️

[Amz1987]

You sound like an absolute angel of a mum. But who looks after mum when she’s in need. That’s the hard part, I hope you’re feeling better really soon x

[TheEmptyNest in reply to Amz1987]

Thank you so much. I hope that we’re ALL feeling better soon!

[Hidden]

Hi Jennifer I understand you 1000 times over and then some. I jyst started 5mg of lexapro after being on 150mg xl of wellbutrin for years can I ask you how is lexapro for you body chemistrys are different but just curious how it is working for you??? I too have a soon to be 21yr old son who was diagnosed with high functional MR and Bipolar and has has Opposational Defiant Disorder since he was younger he is currently in a group home and we as mothers will go above and beyond to see our children not be in any harms way even when its out of our control even when we get pushed down we are always there trying to be at there sides to protect a mothers Love is Powerful and Strong but yet sometimes as I recently learned it can push them away for unknown reasons😔....

Ive had Major Depressive Disorder and Major Anxiety and Panic disorder since younger was diagnosed after the loss of my mother 2002 and have had set backs but in the past year in a half I was knocked down by it badly Aug 14th of last yr Iost my best friend of 43yrs we grew up together on the same street basically from little girls to teen agersto women we did it all no regrets amazing friendship anyway it was a ccouple if moths after that the medication Ive been on for anxiety was up to high from a doc I saw for 12yrs who had retired that april so tge current prescriber i was seeing for just a few months was horrible I didn't mind being slowly taken down after learning but it was her snooty attitude toward me Anyway I knock the bottle if medicaion of the sink into the toilet as Iwas putting them into pill box and just paniced knowing i just picked up two weeks worth and she was not going to refill it I panicked so bad I withdrew on my own because she never called me back for two weeks I got so sick tremors and a small TIA going forward I was brought down fron 6mg to now 3mg niw seeing a doc thats going to stay after two that didn't its been a nightmare and my depression and anxiety are very hard to manage and having no friends they left a long time back amd family thats toxic and the holidays its excruciating so now im on lexapro 5mg and I hope it will work in very sensitive to medications so shes going slow.

Sorry for babbling What I wantv to say is so very hard for me to do is we have to take care of ourselves may it be self soothing to buying something nice for ourselves or helping someone else try to stay in the moment I have to do alot of reality checks, and unfortunately Ive been isolating due to both the depression and anxiety today after being alone yesterday Thanksgiving knowing here we go Christmas I couldn't get out of bed it just sucks bein alone sorry.... Again sorry for going on and on Just know your not alone this forum is great lots if great feedback. Please let me know your thoughts on lexapro if you can?? We all have to get through some how together...

[TheEmptyNest in reply to Hidden]

Hi Kann2, I’m so sorry that you are going through all of this too. I had been on 5 mg of Lexapro for more than 10 years... I was really functioning very well, but it wasn’t enough to keep this incident from occurring. Right at the start of this I increased the Lexapro to 10 mg, but after a month I was still having anxious days. I went up to 20 three weeks ago and was feeling pretty good until the day before Thanksgiving when my daughter got upset. Now I’ve been back to feeling anxious and depressed for the past two days. I see my psychiatrist on Tuesday, so we’ll see what he says.

[Hidden in reply to TheEmptyNest]

Im sorry for all your going through. When you first started tKing lexapro did you have any side effects? Im having upset stomach even with food and head ache hoping it will ho away after adjusting to my system.

[TheEmptyNest in reply to Hidden]

The side effects go away... stick it out, I actually think it’s a pretty good medication.

[Alexa2276]

Hi. The same thing happen to me. My daughter hates college and got her on meds now! How are u feeling? I am on deloxitine

[TheEmptyNest in reply to Alexa2276]

I was doing pretty good until last Wednesday evening, when I started struggling again. I was really worried that I was going down again, but for some weird reason I pulled back out of it today. I DID start a novena to St. Jude. (?)

[Browneyes921]

Hi Jennifer. I’m sorry your daughter went through such a difficult time, and I hope she is doing better. As a mom, I understand how frightening that must have been.

Personally, I so relate to your post. I had severe anxiety/depression events postpartum in tandem with the loss of both my parents. It was beyond horrible. With therapy, meds and time I made it though everything. That was almost 20 years ago and I have recently spiraled back down with the added bonus of panic attacks. I’m nearing an empty nest: my soon to be 21-yr old recently left college and is struggling to find her place in life. My other daughter is in college & lives nearby. I have a third child that will be a senior next year. My most recent severe anxiety/depression event kind of climaxed the day before my daughter’s high school graduation and while helping my oldest move out of the dorms and back home. It just all became too much and I had one of the worst panic attacks/breakdowns I’ve ever experienced. You’re not alone; I’m praying for us all too.

[TheEmptyNest]

Oh Browneyes, you sound SO much like me. I’m so frustrated by being brought to my knees when I want to be whole to support my family. I SO wish that there was a magic pill that could just fix anyone who is suffering. It seems so unfair... I had breast cancer 9 years ago and people asked how I managed it so easily. I always responded that it was NOTHING compared to anxiety/ depression.

[Browneyes921 in reply to TheEmptyNest]

That’s it in a nutshell, isn’t it? Being brought to our knees when we want to be whole to support our families. I’m glad you’re here and that you survived your bout with breast cancer. It sounds like there are several of us here that can listen and lift each other up through these difficult times.