Hello,
I’ll try to make a long story short... After my husband left me in December 2017, the following spring my doctor diagnosed me with extreme situational depression. I was put on Lexapro ,and it helped immensely. In October 2018, after months of rejection, I landed a great job. The beginning of this year was great. Husband and I were ready to get divorced, we were successfully co-parenting, and my life was stable. After training in my new career, I was assigned to a manager. She was known to be very critical, and she immediately bombarded me with negative feedback. On March 19th, I was diagnosed with a severe case of pneumonia. On March 21st, my dad called 911, and was slated for open heart surgery. Before they could operate, he suffered from massive cardiac arrest, and passed away on March 22nd (Friday). I couldn’t take FMLA, and when I returned to work the following Monday, I was informed by my manager she was going to place me on a Performance Improvement Plan.
In May, I discovered my dog had osteosarcoma (bone cancer), and his left front leg was amputated. I was trying to take care of my dad’s affairs, and was struggling with my workload. I was fired in June for under-reporting my hours. I have been re-hired as a substitute teacher, but I have no medical benefits. Due to finances and personal hardships, my husband and I agree that a divorce isn’t feasible this year. If I don’t land a full-time job by the end of the year, he’s willing to put me back on his benefits.
I have always battled anxiety, and was overjoyed that I was coping well with all the horrible things that have happened this year. However, having my former manager dispute my unemployment appeal (I was denied unemployment because I violated company policy for not correctly reporting my time) has been the proverbial straw that broke my back.
Since I don’t have health insurance, I can’t afford a therapist. And I don’t want to go on an antidepressant again. However, I am severely depressed, and highly anxious about the future. I’m not suicidal like I was last year, but I worry that could happen to me again.
Thank you for listening.