So my husband has been ignoring me for two days now after an argument we had over his son being disrespectful to me & how I feel left out when he’s around. My husband said it was me doing it to myself & I exclude myself. I feel as if I’m always the one left out or treated differently when there together. He says I find any reason to pick on his son, which I don’t feel is the case. When I say no to his son it’s for a reason & I explain my reasons to his son. However there are times his son will do things, his dad finds out gets mad at me for being hard on the little guy & then the little boy apologizes to me & then does the same thing the following week. I’m currently dealing with the death of my grandma who was like a mom to me & im dealing with it alone. My husband won’t talk to me about it or listen me talk about it. I havnt even really grieved my grandpas death from last year. I know I’m depressed, I have anxiety, I am a healthcare worker in a pandemic. I constantly feel like I’m drowning & I want out. Idk what to do anymore.
I’m trying really hard but I just can’t have a minute to breath. I feel unwanted in my own home. I have no one to talk to. I don’t talk to my family about it because I don’t want them not to like him. But I’ve called the suicidal help line twice within 5 months because I’m at my breaking point. I won’t do it because it will cause more pain to those I love, but in the moment it feels like the most perfect thing to do, no die but harm myself
This is the worst I’ve ever felt & ive felt pretty low before. He may not be physically abusive but right now the emotional and mental abuse is so much worse than a slice with a knife b