I’m completely overwhelmed

I don’t even know where to begin.

I guess I’ll start with this: I’m here because I suffer from clinically diagnosed severe anxiety and depression.

I’m pretty isolated right now (partly self-imposed) and the few people in my life have no clue what it’s like to live with constant anxiety and depression.

I joined this group with the hopes I can vent freely and also receive some feedback/tools to help me deal with my issues.

I am a newly single mom of a 10 year old amazing son.

His father, after 16 years of what I thought was a good marriage, out of the blue decided he didn’t want to be married to me anymore in October of 2016 and abruptly moved out.

Although I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, this particular incident has left me reeling and every terrible thing that has ever happened to me in my life that I had previously compartmentalized in a little box in my brain has been flushed out into the open and I’m trying to pick up the pieces.

I don’t want to go into any more detail at this point because I want to see how this information is received.

Basically at this point I just want someone to tell me it’s going to be ok and that I will make it through this.

[bonkers65]

It's going to be ok. Hang in there.

[Hidden]

You are going to be okay, yet you have to put the work in & fight the good fight. I'm here for you. I've been dealing with this for 29 years. Believe me you can learn to live with this! Love, peace, joy, light & hugs!!!

[courage_50]

I’m so sorry to hear what happened to you. I suffer from major depressive disorder plus a bunch of other stuff so I know that it can be so hard to deal with life when it blows up like that. It will be ok, what I try to do is take it one day at a time, if I can’t do one day, then one hour, then one minute or one second... whatever it takes, you can do this! Just take a deep breath & believe! Hugs

[raine575]

It will be ok. I just joined this group too, looking for support. I am sorry you are going through this hard time. Guess we can both hang in there..I have a feeling its going to get better.

[Hidden]

Honestly....I think you’re going to be better than ever. It will take time. It won’t be easy. But along your journey I think you’ll be happy to find out that we’re all here for each other. You will not go through this alone. Welcome to HealthUnlocked💘

[Strongheartforever]

I echo what everyone has said. We are here for you and understand the monster that sits on your chest. There is hope, you can only run on the fumes of faith sometimes but it’s powerful stuff. Your hormones are also fluctuating so pm me if you want more info on that.

[Hidden in reply to Strongheartforever]

Thank you for your response

I started hormone therapy in January of this year.

It has helped tremendously.

[Strongheartforever in reply to Hidden]

Really?! That’s so great. So don’t ever blame yourself for these feelings, not that anyone should. Sensitive minds are sensitive to hormonal changes, always know that and fight the dark thoughts. I also started BHRT hormone therapy in January of this year, it saved me.

[Hidden in reply to Strongheartforever]

☺️👍🏼

[kvolm2016]

I hope you do find that this is a great place to find encouragement and support from others who can relate to your experiences. I think we can all say that we have had experiences that we thought would be impossible to get through while we were in the middle of it. And now looking back we recognize that with time and perseverance, we did make it through. And most likely we grew emotionally by going through the hard time/circumstances. I hope you will find this to be true in the near future.

Are you still interacting with your ex because you have shared custody or is he out of the picture?

[Hidden in reply to kvolm2016]

We interact. For me it’s like constantly picking the scab off a wound.

Technically I have primary custody but his dad financially assists us so that’s how we’ve worked it out

Our son stays with me 90% of the time but his dad sees him on a regular basis, mostly on his days to take him to and from schooll.

Our son stays with him a couple nights during the week too usually but since school started he’s been with me every night (and I love it) because his dad lives too far away from the school.

His dad is moving closer next month so I will have to deal with being alone again a couple nights a week once that happens.

Being home alone is the worst for me.

Just the worst.

I’m not motivated to do anything not eat, not dance or be crafty.

nothing.

Usually I just come home from work, walk the dogs (my other lifesavers), watch Netflix and go to bed.

I don’t function well at all unless I have to tend to my son.

Usually just cry myself to sleep.

It sucks not having anyone to talk to.

But it’s not like I want to go out and meet people either.

The idea of meeting another man or being in another relationship is completely dead to me.

I will never get how people are able to be hopeful and start a new relationship with someone else after a divorce.

I was in it for the long haul and I thought he was too and I’ll be damned if I get duped like that again.

Anyway thanks for listening.

[kvolm2016 in reply to Hidden]

And having to continue to interact and effectively co-parent with the person who has hurt you so deeply just makes the healing take soooo much longer. I hope the new arrangement after his move will end up being good for your son but I can definitely see how having him closer will be harder for you.

Do you have a counselor that you are already seeing? If not, is that something that you might find helpful in sorting through all these very normal emotions from the marriage ending?

[Hidden in reply to kvolm2016]

Haven’t really had much luck in the therapist department. Not for lack of trying either. I had a “therapist” for years and they just prescribed me meds.

I haven’t found anyone I really felt was hearing me or could be helpful to me so I’ve been my own therapist.

[kvolm2016]

It can definitely be challenging to find a therapist that feels like a good "fit". Sorry that has been your experience. Maybe if the focus on the past was more related to therapy for the anxiety/depression, it might be different now to work with a counselor who deals more with marriage and family concerns.

One of the suggestions given to me to fill up some of the lonely time was to find a place to volunteer. Is that something you might consider/find helpful?

[mitch404]

My advice to you is this: put every ounce of your focus into your son. Raising him, mentoring him and experiencing wonderful moments together. By saving him, he will save you too.