Newbie: New here, hoping to communicate... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support
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New here, hoping to communicate with others who understand anxiety. I am 50, so the road has been long. Years of peace, but anxiety and mild depression lurking in every worry. Life happens and any bad stuff triggers it all. I have a therapist and currently on medication.

I sort of a meltdown today. Doctor’s visit with some issues he dismissed but I started worrying anyway (understood better now), other financial problems arised, just too much on the last 24 hours was overwhelming and I could not stop crying and feeling fearful. Reached out to therapist, family and close friend. They give me love and support but some family members don’t understand why I can’t control this better. “You’re so intelligent, why can’t you rationalize? Why always thinking negative and expecting the worst?”

It would be so good to have that skill. To find the “off” button. But I don’t have one. After the meltdown, comes the shame, the embarrassment... but it will get better.

Thanks for reading.

26 Replies
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I’m on the hunt for the off button as well. So sorry you’ve had a crummy day. Is there anything that will at least bring a smile to your face? Let me know, I want to help!

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Hidden in reply to Emily16

You just did, by showing kindness. Thank you.

Emily16
Emily16 in reply to Hidden

Awesome!! Welcome to HU. It’s a wonderful site. 👍🏽💘

unfortunately there is no 'switch'...and I for one wish I had one. We do understand here what it's like to have to deal with all the cliché comments as to why don't we just 'get over it', or 'just move on from it', or 'you have so much going for you why would you be depressed'....blah blah blah.... your answer is... it's a disease, there is no cure, it's not your fault, and you have a chemical imbalance that can make you sad, and no amount of intelligence is going to make that magically go away. The best we can hope for is management the best we can. My partner knows now to just let me go through those blues when they come, and just be supportive.

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Hidden in reply to fauxartist

Yes, it is hard for them to understand and I get their frustration for not being able to help. My husband (4 years together) is learning too, getting better at not feeling frustrated because he can’t “fix it”, just accepting and being supportive.

fauxartist
fauxartist in reply to Hidden

that is exactly how most guys think....you got a problem....it's his job to 'fix' it...and you have to just give him permission to relax and let it run it's course, and it's great that our getting support.

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Hidden in reply to fauxartist

Thank you. It’s important to communicate what I need from him - most times it’s just a long hug... or 20. Yeah, we finally had a good talk about that.

Our situations might be different, but as an even older person I understand about doctor's visits and anxiety about different facets of life as well. Welcome to the site. The way the world is today, it's a wonder that there aren't more people here!

fauxartist
fauxartist in reply to gogogirl

there would be if it was easier to find.....

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to fauxartist

I agree faux- ! Wise Woman.

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Hidden in reply to gogogirl

I agree, this unkind world doesn’t help and even news can bring me down. I have been avoiding. Yes, health anxiety is big for me, since I lost my mom to cancer when I was 10. My first panic attack. Aging doesn’t help... Thank you for the warm welcome.

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to Hidden

Yeah- I've had to take a break from the Earth is crashing news myself! So sorry about your mom- here's a hug. My passed away decades ago . I was an adult so I cannot imagine losing one at that age. You're right about aging- what about those golden years- they sure need polishing!!!!

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Hidden in reply to gogogirl

Thank you so much. Yup, it’s definitely a “change”...

What medications have worked best for you? My provider has tried to put me on a couple and I just didn’t react well or my anxiety is telling me this is not for me. I really want to give medication a try and stick with it long Enough to start feeling normal.... ish again

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Hidden in reply to cdrozd

I have clonazepam for as needed only. Used to be on Effexor, but life was good and doctor wanted to give it a break. Lasted a year, until a problem triggered it, and some mild depression became evident. Been for a couple of weeks on Bupropion, let’s see how it goes... it’s trial and error, everyone is different... hope you find soon what works for you.

cdrozd
cdrozd in reply to Hidden

I also have clonzaepam but I’m afraid of getting to dependent on it. I think she want to put in a generic if buspar. Did you feel nauseated when you first started taking medications

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Hidden in reply to cdrozd

No, I didn’t, but everyone has different reactions. I only take the clonazepam if reeaallly need it. I too don’t like to take even advil if it’s not too bad. If you like your doctor, talk to her to find a plan that you feel comfortable with.

Some things that have helped me are1) exercise of any kind, even walking around the block 2) doing yoga 3) taking an anti anxiety medication

4) limiting caffeine and alcohol 4) meditation strategies 5) listening to peaceful music

Some days are just overwhelming and I have to remind myself to take a breath and use the strategies that I know have worked for me. Examining the source of your anxiety can be very helpful, but you may need a professional to help you with this. Sometimes there are things from our past that we bury deep. Another helpful thing is to write in a journal. People often find it cathartic. I wish you the best and hope you find calm and peace

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Hidden in reply to AliceIva

Yes, I think I am following your list well. Therapy is very important indeed. Best of luck to you too, and thank you.

I would also suggest staying away from the news and limiting use on social media.

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Hidden in reply to AliceIva

Yup. Learned that too...

Hello sorry to hear , am in the same boat but I just keep it in , no meltdowns, Ime shure that’s giving me arthritis pain . Anyway your not alone

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Hidden in reply to Sugarbear99

I too believe it can affect our entire system... thank you.

I understand! Sorry your family and others don't 'get it'. The truth is, we probably don't 'get' some of what they deal with either. That's why I love communities like this! We all 'get it'. Regarding your meltdown...sounds like alot piled up all at once. It's pretty normal to feel overwhelmed. You mentioned having had years of peace, but now beginning to struggle again. In the normal course of life, transitions to new 'seasons' cause more issues. My youngest just went off to college a few mos ago and I had alot of anxiety about moving into the empty nest zone and figuring out my identity outside of mom (and Grandma). Keep talking here! It helps!

I feel so much like u do 47 and have been going through this now for 15 years

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Hidden in reply to Chinchilla2

🌻

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