So much anxiety

[maldonado85]

I don’t even know where to begin. My anxiety has been sky high the past few days. Like to the point it takes triple my medication to feel normal and that my heart is not going to jump out of my chest. My chest hurt so bad from not being able to catch my breath and because my heart feleing like its going to explode. I think A big trigger was because again of my alcoholic husbands drinking and needing to hide it. I found him going to the garage every half hour after I went to bed. (only know because of our security system) So I decided to go out to our garage and check things out. Needless to say I found 7 empty liquor bottles and 6 four locos cans. Which he hid on the inside of my sons new tires he bought for his car. I found receipts for several days in a row. I really snapped. I have hardly spoke to my husband since this. I have had enough already and I did tell him I can not keep doing this. That he needs to get himself help or I am done and will manage to live on my own with our children. We are high school sweetheart and have been together for 18yrs and married for 12 yrs, so i find it extremely hard to think about walking away but my childrens happiness and my happiness now need to come first. I do not want this to be the picture of how a marriage should be to my children. Idk if I am wrong here or not. Im just so tired

[Celtic27]

Hi there sorry to see your husbands a alcoholic they are as you know are secretive and become good at hiding it I would say you deserve a medal for putting up with him you've got to look after yourself your children I guess are mid teens will pick up on there dad's behaviour and it's not the best environment for them! Now is the time to say no more and start a better life for you and your children they will thrive in a better situation with you! Please take care and I wish you well david

[maldonado85 in reply to Celtic27]

thank you for your words. I hope my confronting him and telling him this is it and if it continues will be an eye opener that I am not playing games.

[bonkers65]

I'm sorry you are having these problems. But I think you did the right thing by confronting him. Hope things work out for you.

[maldonado85 in reply to bonkers65]

thank you so much. I really hope this is something that he will get help for. I love this man with all I am but I have reach a point that my soul is just tired.

[vbp123]

Hi,

alcoholism is an addiction. He needs help or get his act together. Unfortunately it is a long road and you need to stay strong.

Try to speak to him and explain how his drinking make you feel and what you are forced to consider.

It is very heard place to bee.

I understand.

Look after yourself.

xxx

[maldonado85 in reply to vbp123]

thank you for your kinds words. It for sure is a very hard place to be. I want to support him with his choice to get sober and stop drinking but I also feel like I need to distance myself. Like I can not be the whole support system holding him up. I would like to sit with him and really talk about the problem but as I have found in the past there is some sort of blame to always be pushed at me with his drinking being my fault. I ty not to listen to that because I know that it has nothing to do with me and has everything to do woth himself. There is something that he is trying to suppress with the drinking. I had given him a list of treatment facilities within our surrounding area. Even if it is not inpatient treatment because of him also being a main financial support for our house. But I had suggested in the past of even going to outpatient treatment.

[crowningglory19]

Yes, you are right to think of the safety, sanity and well being of you and your children. Hard alcohol is so addictive, and staying is enabling. An addict will take you down for their fix, they love that more than you, you can't fix or help them unless you use tough love. There is a book out called Tough Love, about doing what is best long term rather than what is easier for now. Hang in there! btw to help you: Stress depletes magnesium and that is what is needed to calm the mind body and spirit and ginseng will control negative worrying loopy thoughts. Take your kids, get outside during this stress to center your being and soak in some Vit. D not using sunscreen for about 30 min or so. Praying for wisdom for you. <3