So much for BFF's: Sorry if this is... - Anxiety and Depre...

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So much for BFF's

gilded_masquerade
gilded_masquerade

Sorry if this is lengthy...

A couple months ago my friend "cut" my and our two other friends out of her life because we didn't approve of her boyfriend. I've known her since I was 10-11.

To explain why my other two friends and I don't like her boyfriend, he still acts like a child, they fight ALL the time, he seemed to treat her like his "sugar mama", and when's we all first met him he didn't even attempt to talk let alone get to know us, he didn't care to.

So I told her flat out one day I just don't like him. She flipped and said "you don't know him, you saw him for one day" as pretentious as it may be, normally my first impressions of people are correct so I stood by my call. Anyway she was saying things like "why is it everyone else can be happy but I can't?" These things are a pattern for her, it's like she trying to compete or prove to everyone how happy she is.

I then said that he reminded me of my ex (the narcissist) and she had enough. Apparently we made him cry because we didn't like him, yet the two of them took to social media for the next month saying how pathetic we are and how she's going farther in life (when she dates a boy no matter who it is, her life is all about him, NOTHING else) and she said to me that until I apologize to him we aren't friends.

In that capacity, I don't care and won't apologize to him. Shes the one I care about.

Anyway, now it's worse although they seem to be putting up a good fictitious front about their relationship. But now whenever they fight she says or tries to kill herself.

She posts it EVERYWHERE on social media and even went to work and said "I'm suicidal".

The only options my friends and I have are to take her to the hospital (which she doesn't wanna see any of us) or talk to her boyfriend (which he would ignore us since he ignored one of my friends before WHILE our friend was attempting suicide).

I'm not saying she's begging for attention when it comes to this, but at times it seems like when she does t get attention from him that's her go to...

Whenever she dates someone she cuts her friends out and then when her and her boyfriend break up she comes running back. Then repeat.

There's a plethora of other things I could have mentioned in regards to her and her relationships with people but this is already long enough.

But I don't know what to do. Do I be her friend again when she comes running back? (which she always does), do I let her figure it our herself?

Or do I accept the end of that friendship? I've found my life is not as drama-filled and toxic since I spoke up about her boyfriend but at the same time I don't want her doing something g serious...

6 Replies

let her figure it our herself...she's not really a friend if she always throws you to the curb when she finds a guy to latch onto....your just her filler in till the next disaster...nope...

All of this is really not your problem. Try to move on and make some different friends. She is responsible for choosing her friends and boyfriends, and unless there are clear signs of abuse from him, you do not need to be involved.

Hidden
Hidden

Let her get on with it, if there is a lesson to be learned then let her learn it herself.

You get on with your life and enjoy it.

Hi, I think your friend sounds like she might have low self esteem and feels it's all or nothing when it comes to relationships with boyfriends. If she is attempting suicide she seems desperately unhappy, probably sad at loss of her friends as well as being in an unhappy relationship. It's hard when you can see a friend fall into a pattern, you know isn't going to end well. If you value the friendship and still want to be her friend you could talk to her when she is single again and try to explain that you do want her to be happy but it's hurtful to her friends when she behaves the way she does. I think the older you get the more you appreciate just how important your friends are. It's a tough one and see why you are torn best of luck X

It sounds like she is borderline. Her behavior is classic. She will not change until she sees she needs to. In the meantime you need to decide how much you can handle and where your boundaries need to be. You can’t work any harder than she does when it comes to her wellness.

You call her a friend? I do not know if you are a teenager or an adult- but I would just live my life. If she wants to talk- you can listen- but she has to find her own way. She is being disrespectful to you in my opinion.

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