Anxiety is contagious

[scientician]

My husband, of whom I am extremely proud, is starting a new career in education. His classes start on Tuesday and he is overwhelmed already.

This is his first year teaching, he has 3 different high school classes to teach (3 different levels of physics) and only one planning period. He found out about this ridiculous course laid less than two weeks ago.

He is really scrambling and full of dread. He doesn’t know how to make any of this work, and the administrators have given him very little guidance or support. He’s really just winging it right now, and that is totally against his nature (he’s a planner).

His anxiety is really affecting me. I can’t sleep, cannot focus. I know that if this is how our whole year is going to go, we are in real trouble.

I want him to be able to talk to me about his hard days- I want to be a good listener, and support him any way I can. How can I do that and not burden myself with his anxiety? Because right now, I am panicked.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry to hear of your dilemma..it’s so difficult for us to watch loved family members struggling. It can make us feel so anxious for them.

The only thing I can think of to help is maybe for you to have some counselling/therapy to help you ..because if you are in a good frame of mind in turn it will no doubt help him. And for him to be persistent in his quests for guidance to help him along..

Quite often in life we find once the matter that is bothering us commences it actually isn’t as bad as we imagine, our imaginations can be dire at times...

I’m sorry I don’t seem to have any great resolves for you. I would say take good care of Yourself...things may go better than you imagine.

I do hope it all goes ok..

Best wishes 🌹🌺🌹🌺

[scientician in reply to Hidden]

You hit on exactly what I was thinking. I was seeing a therapist, but left this spring because the fit wasn’t right, and haven’t found someone new to see. It’s time to start calling around again. I wish it were easier to find the right kind of help.

[Hidden in reply to scientician]

Every good wish with it all...

You always have us to come along and chat to if you need to talk about it any time. I know that helps me. Just writing it down helps at times

🌺🌺

[CatIsMyCopilot]

I agree with Olivia that maybe when your husband gets into the groove of things, he may find it's not as bad as imagined.

I too get sympathetic anxiety when my husband is really stressed, but because he has a pretty normal relationship with anxiety/stress, it tends to fade away for him (with time, or a change in the situation), and then my sympathetic anxiety does too. I try to be conscious of making space for his feelings, and not making him feel bad for my sympathetic reaction.

[scientician in reply to CatIsMyCopilot]

This is also true for me. I tend to catastrophize everything, and rarely find the worst-case scenario to be true. Thanks for reminding me to have some perspective, and to pass some on to my husband.