Courage to ask for a divorce....

I'm a strong guy in so many senses of the word yet I'm depressed and anxious daily about being in a marriage I no longer want to be in. My wife is a very nice person, but a terrible wife. I know asking her for a divorce will cripple her so I live in this guilt hell because I can't find the right way to get through this. I feel frozen in time and frozen with fear and guilt.

[Hidden]

It sounds like you should sit down with her and have an open heart to heart conversation...maybe counseling...only you have the answer but being truthful is always the best policy in my book...in the end you don't really lose...I wish you all the best with this....let us know how you make out, of course if you want to!

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy n hugs for you!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thats the hard part. I know what I have to do. If she was a terrible person it would be so easy. I have no desire to stay with her, and married her for all the wrong reasons. I just know how sad and destroyed she will be when I do finally find the courage to do what I have to do. Thank you for responding and for your insight.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I would think she would want the truth..who wants to be with someone who doesn't really love them? Of course she'll be sad but there just may be a brighter future for the both of you....stay strong for yourself....

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy n hugs for you!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thats true. She deserves to be with someone who would love her for her. I can't be the easiest to live with as I'm always depressed and uptight but she never ever inquires why? No matter my mood she just keeps rolling on through. Drives me nuts that she doesn't ever ask " whats up" as that would give me an opening. Instead I'm struggling to figure out how to create the opening without just blurting it out " hey, lets talk, I want a divorce". I know there's no easy way out, I just wish she'd catch on and ask me why I've been so retracted and moody. But I guess that's why I want out is the lack of chemistry and connection. We live together like two buddies.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

At times we expect from people when all we have to do is just communicate to them...you can do this...no it's not going to be easy for you or her....you both deserve happiness...we all do....fight the good fight for you!

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy n hugs!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ya know I'm still thinking about your situation...a long time ago I was there, the woman...my ex walked out on me, my first born was 6 months old, my birth father was killed in a car accident a few days later..I was devastated to say the least...it all worked out...I fell back in love with my first love and we're going strong to this day..almost 39 years now...in the end everything does work out....I truly wish you all the best!

Dump trucks filled with love, peace, light, joy n hugs!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I'm glad your story has a happy ending. I know mine will too, I just have to get there...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Best of luck to you...let me know how things go...I'll be rooting for you!

Dump trucks filled with love, peace, light, joy n hugs!!!

[UFC80]

I been through this. So many times. It's a waste of time and life! If you are positive and sure you want to end the marriage, go ahead with it. The hell and mental sickness you will endure by staying married to make someone else's life better will end up killing you! Literally!. Get a lawyer. Know what a divorce entails. I'm happy and divorced. Best decision I made. Good Luck! 😁

[Hidden in reply to UFC80]

Thanks for the straight shooting input. I'm meeting with a lawyer next week and hopefully that will give me some structural input of the financial issues. That aside maybe I'll feel better about bringing the matter up. It is killing me living this lie. It's a daily struggle just coming home to her....

[Jeff1943]

Your wife will suspect there's another woman, which will add to her distress when you tell her.

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

I know. It's hard for a woman to just understand you don't want to be with them for all the reasons there are. Seems like it would be easier to just say there's another woman....ugh

[Hidden]

I've been divorced too. He was real mean so it was easy. He didn't want to so it did suck but I did the right thing. I did remarry with real love and then had children. Fourteen years now and I never looked back. Life is too short.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Really happy for you. I'm hoping for a happy landing too after I figure out how to get this whole thing initiated.....

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Good luck. You can do it. It's like ripping off a band aid.

[Jimdubu]

Was there ever a time you loved her? If so what happened to that spark ? Maybe marriage counseling would help. If you never loved her, then be honest with her and be prepared for the consequences of the irreparable damage you may do to her.

[Jimdubu]

What makes your wife ' A Terrible Wife " ?

[Michdau1]

Sounds to me like you've already decided what you want to do and please know that it's ok to make that choice ❤️ ppl are responsible for their own happiness. You for yours and your wife for hers. You know your choice and next step, we all do and the final piece of the puzzle us to let your wife know. Realistically its going to be tough but it's kinder in the long run. You don't want to end up feeling resentful by staying put and if you do, you will eventually tune out completely which will likely cause your wife more worry and heartache. I hope you feel relief when you talk XXX let us know how it goes if you want to and if you need any support xxx