The anxiety today is getting progressively worse. I feel agitated and scared again.
I thought I was doing alright...I was finally okay. Why am I feeling this way again ?
Sigh...can someone give me advice on what to do and how to deal with this or distract myself ? I feel so... exhausted. I just want someone to tell me I'll be okay and that everything will be back to normal. I desperately want it to be.
Hi, it sounds like you need to find the root cause of your anxiety. A distraction is great for a while but anxiety is like a weed. You can cut of the stem but if you don't remove the root it will keep coming back. I make peace with the fact it is not me, it is how my brain is coping with what is going on. Mindfulness meditation has helped me massively. Made me realise I'm more than my thoughts. I feel I will never be the same as before my panic disorder but I can use it to become something new. I feel like it is my brain trying to give me a wake up call to make changes to my life which will be better for me in the future. Try watching 'Heal' documentary, it is on Netflix and maybe on youtube. Really woke me up and made me feel 'normal' again (if there is such a thing 
). We can't change the past but we have the power to change the now, which will change the future. Stress builds up so I take the time to relax the mind and body, to let it break down again. Ying and yang. Stay strong! You will have bad times but the power is in you! You have to go down to go back up.
I think. It's just my brain's way of coping with the environment I'm in. I'm a little sheltered from people my own age. I'm 19. But the people around me are all old adults in their 50s. It's hard. My friends are all back home bcs I'm staying with my parents for a bit.
Initially it was fun. But after 3 months it's just tiring now. And I feel this weird pressure as if I'm losing myself. I'm so idle. I can't get a job here bcs I'm visiting. I can't meet people bcs there's nobody my age in this neighborhood. It's a small town with minimal activity.
My brain is getting prone to overthinking. Comparing myself to people so much older than me. Making me feel bad about myself and doubting myself for being different from them when it's obviously the huge generation gap.
My brothers are a little younger but they're busy with their friends and school. I suppose I get lonely. And tend to overthink things I'd rather not think about. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.
Have you confided in at least one of your brothers about what’s going on? I told my brother about what’s going on with my PTSD and he told me anytime I’m struggling he’s happy to make time for me to calm me down and help. I’m sure your brothers love and care about you and would be happy to help you. Also, have you talked with your best friend about what is going on? I’m sure your best friend and/or other friends would at least make time for a phone call or video call or maybe even come see you if they knew what is going on. When I told my best friend about my PTSD, his response was “How can I help?” Don’t worry about being a burden on your brothers or friends. I’m confident they love you and will whatever they can to help you through this. You don’t have to suffer alone.
Ooo they know. That's how I'm surviving. Because they're there whenever I need some sense knocked into me. I just...I'm idle. Very very idle. And it takes a toll on my health. I've always been the kind of person who hates free time. Bcs I think maybe being idle makes my brain bored so it tends to overthink and go into overdrive. And start obsessing over unnecessary things. Creating "what ifs" in my head that one would generally ignore.
I know my triggers well but I think this moment right now, and the location itself, is a perpetual trigger. I don't like where my parents live. The country is so different from my own and the atmosphere isn't what I'm used to. I've never been one to like change because I've been moving around my entire life. I finally found a place I felt like I belonged and I had to leave because my parents moved and I graduated college. University starts in 5 months. Then I can be back. But...it's a long wait and Im scared I might lose my sanity by then.
I feel like I'm desperately clinging onto who I am and I'm afraid that I might change into the people I am currently surrounded by who are all older and idk I guess I'm forgetting how people my age act. It's quite complicated but it's simply scary, y'know ? I wanna be back home. I can't do this any longer.
I always get this way when I come here so it's always a trigger. Now my stay has been prolonged and I've been idle for 4 months. It's getting too much to bear.
Hi. What personally helped me dealing with my anxiety was accepting my situation. Even though I see around me friends and classmates that are different than me, have more material things, are more outgoing, smarter and even better looking, I try to accept who I am and in what situation I am. When I was anxious I was constantly comparing myself to others and was thinking that I need to do something about that because I might miss something out if i don't do nothing. But I accepted the way my life is and started to focus on new things, new passions and hobbies. At the same time, socially I'm not trying to appear someone who I am not or someone who I want to be, instead I'm acting like myself, and don't try to please everyone. The final point is that you need to feel bold knowing that you have your own life and , even if it's good or bad, it don't need to look like others life and situation.
That's sort of what's going on, y'know. I'm scared of losing myself among all this negativity and stress.
I just...I suppose I need reassurance that despite the bad situation I'm in, I'll still stay the same me. And that I don't need to become someone I don't want to or act in a way I don't want to.
I feel so out of place. And I think it's because of the lack of exposure to people my age. It's all...old adults. So my brain is just assuming I'd have to be that way too.
I'm doubting everything that makes me...me. and I hate it. I don't want to compare myself to anyone else because I have always been secure as a person. And comfortable in my own skin. These days I'm just scared I'm going insane and that it'd take a toll on me.
Because really, I just DESPERATELY need to get back home and get busy. I need work. I need university to start. I LIVE for feeling worn our and tired because at least my brain is busy living in the present.
I feel like these days I can't enjoy my present. Because I'm so caught up worrying about the future. Overthinking again and again. It's just exhausting.
Yes I can imagine it would feel lonely. The advantage of been surrounded by older people is they have lived through your age already. They will have some great advice for you. I'm 26 and have ignored my anxiety my whole life, I thought everybody felt the same way. My panic attacks came from nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. The good thing about you is you are already aware of what makes you different, so you can address the problem now. We call it a problem, but the fact so many people feel anxious means it is completely natural. It surely means we are just more tuned in to the world around us, which is why it affects us more than 'normal'. It's a curse and a gift in a way. You don't do it to yourself because it is part of you, regardless of your thoughts. People will help you so you are not alone. I'm thinking of you as I'm writing this now and, in turn, knowing you are similar to me makes me feel better too. Another thing which helped me was listening to 'Ekhart Tolle' on youtube. He was a multi-millionaire CEO and suffered greatly with depression. He tried to end his life multiple times and failed, so decided to throw it all away and become homeless. He sat on a bench for 4 years and watched the world go by. After a while he started talking to people, listening to their problems, and developed many life philosophies to bring his mind to peace. He now helps millions of people. So his curse became others happiness and eventually his own happiness. This issue you have may be what makes you special one day, that's how I get by 
Ah...makes sense. Thanks for listening
I think...I just need to get out of my head. And get busy. And stop comparing myself to others. We have different issues but it's good to know that I'm not alone.
I'm aware of my anxiety bcs I've been dealing with it since I was 11. Maybe even younger. It got triggered when we moved and my family separated. I've forgotten what it feels like to live with a family. Parents always lived in difficult cities because of their jobs. And now that we're all together, we aren't really used to living like how families do. We don't have that sort of bond.
My parents are doctors so when I was young, I'd live alone with mum and she'd be on call. I used to get very frantic back then bcs I was alone and where we lived, people used to bully me. It was hard.
I suppose for me...being in a place I feel comfortable is key. I need to be back home. I need to feel comfortable again. I always feel better when I get on a plane and land back home in my country. It feels safe. I feel safe.
Even though anxiety never really ends, I'm at home, I have my friends, I have my Bros I can call, I have my studies. It all feels worthwhile and I get strength to keep going. I guess I've lost that now that I'm in a place I don't like with no work and purpose.
It's like waking up in the morning but not needing to force yourself to get up. I need that push. And I don't have it anymore. It's depressing, I guess. I've always hated staying at home.
Yes your right a sense of purpose is key to true happiness! I think I need to find mine now you've said that. I'm not surprised you have the anxiety by the sounds of your childhood, so in a way it was to be expected. I think you should be proud of the fact you are searching for answers and reflecting on the cause. Sounds like you are already on the right path. I wish I'd paid more attention when I was younger, oh well. I have a divided family too, had a lot of rejection from my father which has made me have a high expectation for myself. Failed a lot of things in my life and have punished myself ever since. Realised recently I need to take time to do things for me and me alone. I've been doing this for a few weeks now and have been much more comfortable around people and happier in general. My main issue is my anxiety has reached my subconscious and now causes me to have physical pain and panic attacks/tremors most days. I get about 3 hours sleep each night and vivid nightmares. Each day feels as though my body is shutting down and it's beyond what I think. I never thought stress was this powerful!
You have the power to make yourself feel uneasy/ill so you 100% have the power to make yourself feel good. Healistic healing and diet is making a big difference to me as well.
It's good your family is still taking a shot at making it work even though it is fractured. I'd focus on what you do get from them rather than worrying about what you don't. And I think having younger siblings is great because one day you can help them if they ever go through something difficult. You will understand how they feel better than most. With the town being quiet and not having much to do, you have time to connect with nature. Trust me as you get older you get less and less time for yourself. Use it to do something you love or something to relax.
No worries, I'd enjoyed listening and thank you for sharing. I feel a bit better as well And screw what other people think, nobody on earth knows what there really doing. We all just hope we're doing what is right. It's cheesy but kindness and love is the only thing that really matters in this world (I hope ).
Thank you. Really. You sound like a great person ! I'm trying and I hope you feel better soon too.
I get shaky and panicked too but only sometimes. These days it's more bcs I'm just not in a good place. But trust me, it will get better once you get busy.
For me, my relief is my work and the person I love. Sometimes I'm so caught up in making sure he's okay that I forget my own worries. Which is genuinely helpful bcs sometimes I really just need to forget and let go of the negativity in my head.
I'll be okay and I'm sure you'll be too. Always here if you ever need to talk !
Thank you, you do too 
Started work again this week and already feeling better! Yes we will both get better one day and hopefully will be thankful that our problems lead us to the right path. Same goes to you, happy to talk whenever!
Ayyyy see ? Work does help ! Now if only I could find some 😂😂😂
It is that old battlefield of the mind, no worries, you own the battlefield. As a Christian woman we do say what is bothering us but then we counter it with what we know to be our victory. Lord I am experiencing a lot of fear, but you did not give me the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind. I am victorious.
What we speak will eventually become our reality, so be careful of the words you profess. Always end with with your victory on its way. It will make you feel better as your victory gets a chance to manifest. No matter how the Lord helps you through this difficult time in your life.
Have you figured out what your triggers are? I would suggest starting there. As far as relieving anxiety, I find breathing in while counting to 4 and breathing out while counting to 4 helps a lot. Also, making time each day for things like nature walks, recreational reading, and/or spending time with friends and/or family. Also, being intentional about noticing the little blessings every day brings helps me a lot.
Also, hang in there. This too shall pass.
Being useful is a big help for me in getting my anxiety to quiet down, ( it never goes completely away). Perhaps you can volunteer at your brother’s school, or a local organization? It might help take you out of yourself for the time you are helping out and thereby giving your mind a needed break from stress. I started volunteering a few months ago to get me out of the house and it has been really helpful. I’ve met people closer to my age and have received positive feedback on the work I am doing, both of which are great. I’m not saying that volunteering is a cure all, but it does get your mind on a more productive path, if only temporarily. Keep posting - we’re listening...
Hmm I tried looking for volunteering opportunities here. There isn't much but I'm still looking. I can't get a job either bcs I'm on visiting visa :// it's just such a terrible situation. I'm 19 and I feel like I'm 60 😂😂
I love teaching. I really thought I could come here and while I'm here I could help tutor the highschool kids like I used to tutor my own classmates few months back. That was fun. We'd have lessons after official ones. I really enjoyed helping them out and in return learning more from the people I was teaching.
But sigh...there aren't any centres here I can work at as it's a small town AND my brothers themselves are both at the top of their classes ahead of the syllabus :// (I'm proud but ugh I really wish they needed my help)
My brother did want me to teach him guitar though ! That was nice. But...he has exams so he barely practices AND when he does it's only for 10 min.
I've just sort of been trying to waste the time away and keeping contact with either one of my friends at all times so I'm not lonely. I've been feeling pretty alone these days.
Is there a library in your town? You could probably help out there...lots of people volunteer in libraries 😊. I know how hard it is to put yourself out there, really I do, especially in a place that isn’t where you are comfortably at home. Senior citizen center? Food bank? Anything like that could have opportunities for you. Maybe offer your services to the town to do gardening- something physical is always beneficial. A community garden? Anyway, you get the idea.
I’m not sure what country you live in but in the US there is an organization volunteermatch.org that might help you find opportunities.
Damn Im not sure...never thought about that. And nah, I'm not in the US. But I'll try to find ! Though if I'm being honest, I've gotten to a point where I don't even leave my room. Today was an accomplishment bcs I sat outside with my family.
I sat and read through all my friends' letters. Sigh...I think I'm really just homesick. And I'm getting depressed. I really just want to go back. I don't like this place.
Maybe I should go to the gym. It'll get my mind off. Hopefully.
Hey, thank you for listening. Really. This helped. I'll try to find something to do while I'm here.
Hey
Honestly thought I wrote this post. I get it to the T. I recently talked to my therapist and she has been having me do 20 minutes of deep breathing in a quiet dark place before I go to sleep and then atlas 10 minutes when I wake up before I get out of bed. So far it seems to be helping a bit. if you'd like to DM me, we can talk more
Supporting each other is what we do! Going to the gym sounds great, and it does so much to help you by getting you out and getting you exercise. Win win.
Ik so badly how you feel
Need help
I need help 
i want help
Can't help feeling so lost
