I need help

[Afsaneh]

Hi, I posted here about a month ago. I have been struggling with anxiety for over 6 years now it started as a simple fear of flying and it has expanded to become not being able to be alone. I live with my parents and all my relitives are back home witch is Iran. I can't have my parents out of my sight they can't travel because of me.

Today I found out that my mom has to go back home for an emergency this week. Since the moment I found out which has been three hours . I can't talk, eat , I know she has to go but I know I can't cope with it. It's gonna kill me , thinking about has made me paralyzed now imagining that she will actually leave I don't know . They keep on asking me when they should get the ticket for and it's like asking someone we want to kill you , would like you prefer today or tomorrow.

My mom had absolutely no omption, she had not traveled because of me for so long and I know if she could she wouldn't go.

I woke up today not knowing this, I had the perfect day planned for myself but as soon as I heard the news my day was over , I have not been able to get out of bed and I don't have the strength to do it so. I just want all of this to be a dream hoping to wake up from it any moment.

[Hidden]

Hi this sounds awful for you but you don't have any option, you either start tackling it and go to the doctors (have you got anyone to go with you?) and get some help, or you take the self help route ie mindfulness, meditation etc.

No one can do it for you and if you don't do something then nothing will change. I am sorry if this sounds hard but I am being realistic here. If you can't do it for your own sake then how about for the benefit of your parents? It must make life very hard for them so take action for their sake. .

Perhaps you can write down how you feel and just hand it to the doctor? You won't be by any means the first person to do this, but you do need to get help.

I wish you all the best.

[Afsaneh in reply to Hidden]

Thank you lilaclil, I know I have to face it at some point and I have been running away from it because what I had was safe and peaceful and I didn't wanna lose it.

I know that if I keep rejecting it nothing will be fixed, I guess I'm waiting for a miracle to happen.

I really want to think and act like everyone else and be in peace but right now with my knowledge and try and fails I can't and I feel like this is the only place I can write and have people who have experienced this to help me.

[bchwlkr1998 in reply to Hidden]

If you live by or near a metropolitan area or medium city, you can also attend group therapy meetings at the non-profit N.A.M.I., or National Association of mental illness. I have been to several meetings, it is free, and led by members who have had training provided this association. The Maryland main number is- 410-884-8691.

All the best to you.

[Cameron1]

Afsaneh , you poor thing, you need to get help for yourself , talk to your GP and have them recommend a good therapist for you to talk to . I cannot imagine what you must be go through . I am sure your parents are suffering as much if not more for you . Therapy can truly help. it's behavioral modification . Take small steps and hopefully you will gradually get their . I know it feels auful but believe me with the right help their is light at the end of this tunnel. Maybe someone els can stay with u . If yourparents have to go what options do u have? I wondered if you are the only child ? We often are much stronger than we think we are. I am sending you my good thoughts and positive energy . I know that doesn't solve your problem but someone is wishing you the best and good luck finding a good threpist. I also pray for your parents because I know how Iranian parents are as I had a pair of them. Keep on strong 😊

[Afsaneh in reply to Cameron1]

Thank you Cameron , this week has been my worst nightmare. I don't eat I can't sleep I just wanna blink and have everything back to normal. My mom is leaving Thursday night and what fears me the most is that what if I lose my control what if I can't handle it. She will be miles away on a plane, I won't have any access to her I won't even be able to talk to her until she lands. There is just way too much pressure. I haven't stopped crying, I'm afraid to fall sleep and she leaves. I just wanted to be over.

[Cameron1]

Afsaneh who is living with u? R u alone ? Is it your mom you are attached too? Do u have family around? U should not be alone afsaneh . Keep busy & have people over . How old are u if I may ask. I know what u are going through . I promise nothing will happen to u. R u on any meds . Xanax or other meds ? I feel auful for u. I wish I was near you to help. I do understand . Keep reaching out & talk about it . Good luck !!!

[Afsaneh in reply to Cameron1]

I don't have any family except my sister and my dad here. I'm very attached to my mom because anytime I was nervous or had a panic attack. She was right there to come me down. With her leaving I feel my anxiety is gonna keep on rising and won't stop until she gets back.

I went to my dr yeasterday and he gave me a tablet that I would put under my tounge and it's suppose to calm me down and relax me for 6-8 hours. I took one last night it did calm me down but it didn't disappear my fears I slept relaxed last night. I woke up this morning with negative thoughts and fear again I'm trying to fight it and not take it, but my mom is leaving tonight and all I can think about is that I can't cope with it I'm gonna lose it. I wanna beg her not to go so all these feeling go away.

[Cameron1]

I good Morning afsaneh , I am so proud of u for going to the docto and taking meds. You are much stronger than u think. Can u count on your sister & your dad. My thoughts are with u. Hang in their . One minut one day one week. U will get their 😊

[Afsaneh in reply to Cameron1]

My mom left last night, I've been taking this relaxation pill that I put. Under my thounge. The fearful thoughts are still there but I can try to fight them now. She promised she will come back in a week that gives me hope as well. I started taking my regular pills as well I'm on du two l, I take them at night so I don't have to deal with the side effects.

It's great to know someone out there cares about you thank you Cameron ❤️

[Cameron1]

Dearest Afsaneh I am so very proud of u!! Take this opportunity to grow and maybe even when your mom comes back continue with your medication and seek therapy . U sound like a beautiful , intelegent young lady. You have so much to look forward to . ohhhhh my heart breaks for your poor mom. To go to Iran and be back in one week? Keep working on your seoeration anxiety . You deserve more in life . How is your sister & your dad feeling about your situation? How do u deal with it during the day ? You talk about resting at night with meds? A day is already gone just a few more days left. Do u meditate? That sometimes help me. I am finiliar with your setuatiin . Talk to your GP about recommending Therepest. You have a wonderful mother also . Keep working away at this and my hat us off to your mom on this glorious Mother's Day .....keep reaching out . I am here for u!! U will do great and the sun will shine upon u soon even without your mom in the house have happy day wherever you are & know someone cares . K? Hopefully when u are all well , pay forward & help another person with anxiety . We are powerful woman , !! Sending u love & prayers .