❌NARCISSIST•• Unfortunately Do Any Of You Have Experience In Dealing With An Ex-Husband,the Father Of Your 20yr Daught- NARCISSIST FATHER❌

[Cocoon3]

I’m asking for any type of help !! I have been through hell and back !!!! with my daughters daddy (my ex husband), Who has always proudly stated to us that he was the “King Narcissism. Now, for the last say..10 months, she has completely distance herself from me and my mom, her 83-year-old grandmother-that helped raise her.We were all very close- me & my parents compensated as much as anyone could, to override her dad’s negativity & belittling. She is living with her very first boyfriend- he is actually the 1st guy that ever gave her attention- she’s naturally beautiful but she always seem to try to hide herself under huge T-shirts & sweatshirts (I mean, really her own Father- made her loose her self-esteem. All she ever has heard from her (own dad)...“your fat, your ugly, your lazy, your a “N” Lover, your not going to amount to shit, etc”.. I tried so hard to overlap that evilness (so cruel) - She maintained honor roll every yr until her Jr Yr in high school. She was also accepted to take college courses during her senior year- I have her Awards Framed ( she received the presidential award from President Obama ), along with 9 other awards, she wanted to go to nursing school & WAM ..all of that is like POOF, gone ! I brought her to a therapist, that I let her pick out & she didn’t open up & quit going, her real friends (which she has written off ), always told her she needed to go to therapy but she wouldn’t!!! Overall she’s NEVER really opened up to a Anyone at all, much less open up the deep inner feelings. It’s really a horrible situation !! 😢 I worry about my mom, she’s disabled & horrible health & my daughter knows that & she knows that it was her that kept giving her mawmaw... a reason to get up each day & my daughter and does not even care even after I pointed out to her she lives with her boyfriend she’s white he’s black that does not bother me I brought her up to love people and what’s in their heart what bothers me though is there or six people that live together where she’s at and they i’ll have arrest records for illegal drugs, B&E etc.. I know for a fact my daughters drug choice is weed but also know that since she’s been living w/ these people she’s experienced highs on Percocets , xan bars, acid, mollys & underage drinking she stopped taking her Prozac and she stopped taking birth control and now with her job she makes just enough money to not be eligible now for Medicaid so there’s no health insurance her boyfriend doesn’t have a car actually none of them do except her but I do know the only thing that he can offer my daughter is weed in bulk sizes. I have never been degrading towards any of her roommates, I’ve actually tried to help them but now I’m seeing signs of her reactions and responses being very similar to how her dad is. (At the age of 6, she witnessed her dad cutting my face out of pics & saying he was going to erase me, & that I was stupid & looney. I’ve been reading about daughters with fathers as he is and it’s unfortunately very common for the daughter to begin feeling just as The father, especially if he still has some control in her life such as mine- her cell phone & co-signer Of Her car, even though I actually put more money down on it- so she could afford the monthly note. And yes I have offered to take over the cell phone and me and my present husband are going to get her a car if she began to straighten her life up, no drugs, possibly continue education etc. - she never had one chore to do here and now WOW- it’s hard because we went from being so close .. to now I know nothing “at all” about her life ,nothing. AND, I REMEMBER THE FEELING OF HAVING TO PROVE I COULD MAKE IT ON MY OWN.. But, I never was rude, disrespectful, ignored or COMPLETELY stopped checking on them, just a Lil chit-chat, u know having some involvement in my life. ❣️Any Advice, Comments, Shared Experiences etc are ALL WELCOMED ❣️ Thank You !! SORRY ITS SUCH A LONG POST, BUT JUST TRYING TO GIVE A GOOD OVERVIEW SO POSSIBLY SOMEONE CAN HELP GUIDE ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION TO GUIDE HER ❣️💔

[TriggerPoint]

Bless You Hun. That's Allot Going On You Have To Deal With... At Age 20 ?... All You Can Do Is Offer Your Love & Point Them In The Right Direction... I Know A Mother's Love NEVER Ends & You Are Always There If She Needs You... Now She's 20. She's Gonna Make Her Own Choices Good or/ Bad... We've All Been Down That Road At That Age... The "I'm A Grown Woman or/ Man Age"... It's Part Of Growing Up.. There's Hard Times In Life & This Is One Of Them Everybody Has to Go Through... I Mean, Look At What Happened In Your First Marriage ?... Do You Think "At That Time" Your Mom Could Have Talked You Out Of It ?...Now He's An "X". Good Thing Too... Sounds Like A Very Cruel Person... But Even He, At Her Age Now, Can't Force Her To Do Anything. "SHE" Makes Her Choices In Life Now Good or/ Bad.... Influence Is Just That. Influence. But The "Choice" To Listen & Abide Is One "The Person" Makes ... Nobody At Her Age Can Twist Her Arm... If They Try ? Most Of The Time It Just Drives A Wedge Further... Hun ? Offer Her Love & A Choice & Support. [ we all know there's nothing like a mothers love ]... Always Tell Her She Can Come To You About Anything But Remind Her That YOU Can't Make The Choices For Her... [ remind her that she is a grown woman now and she makes her own choices but you are always there for her. sometimes your recognizing her independence as a woman of her own, can ease and strengthen your relationship with her ]... As Far As That Cruel "X" ? I Wouldn't Let Him Rent Space In My Mind... "HER" Choices In Life Is What's The Real Issue Here That's Truly Bothering You. No Matter What Influences Were In Her Past ? She's At The Age To "Decipher" & "Contemplate" Her Choices. [ it's not like she is in her 12 to 16 year old range of rebelling anymore ]. The Past Is Just That. Passed. You Can Only Point Her In The Right Direction & Do The Best You Can Wile Offering Your Love For Her....

I Don't Know If This Can Comfort You or/ Your Situation. But I Care...

Prayers*

[ oh. although you've never been degrading towards any of her roommates. it's truly "you" trying to gain favor from your daughter. remember. "it's never wrong to do that which is good". you want to leave a lasting impression of love towards anyone because they'll always remember. however, the living situation your daughter has chosen [ not your x ] has really upset you. when you were both raising her you could shadow with love what your x may have tried to damage. but now ? at 20 ? she'll have to live at this point with the consequences of choices "she" makes. just let her know you're there if she needs you. ]

"Swagger & Confidence Is One Thing. But Cool Is For Fools. If You Are Everybody's Somebody. You Are Not Your Own." [ in reference to the drug situation influences around her ]

[Cocoon3 in reply to TriggerPoint]

I swear the words that you say EVERYTIME are the words is that my friend Kiki would tell me that died last year.. you view things in all perspectives and that’s a gift

[TriggerPoint in reply to Cocoon3]

I Don't Have A Gift ? My Gift Is Revealing The Gift YOU Already Have Inside You...

Much Love & Prayers~*

[Cocoon3 in reply to TriggerPoint]

Just wow !

[Starrlight]

(((((((((( ❤️)))))))))) my heart goes out to you

[Hidden]

Wow, this strikes a chord, I sympathize deeply

[Eowyn7]

My husband's sister took a very similar path and unfortunately, it did not end well. She had a baby at 20 and passed away of an overdose at 23.

Do whatever you can to get her into a recovery program, and out of that house full of drugs. But DON'T bail her out if she ends up in jail. Let her learn some consequences. Ultimately, it is her life and as she is an adult you cannot force her to do anything, you can only encourage.

I will be thinking about you and sending good thoughts for your daughter. I hope she turns her life around.

[Eowyn7 in reply to Eowyn7]

Oh, I also suggest cutting off the purse strings. No phone payments, no car payments, nothing. Tell her you will only support her financially if she moves home with you.