Dark day

[Gillyflower18]

I’m feeling very down today. I try to do little things but I’m so lonely. I’ve never had any close friends just aquaintences and a wacko family. I’m 68 and have dealt with anxiety and depression since my late 20’s. I’m going through a bad time right now. I have a good therapist but I can’t see her every day. My psychiatrist just wants to throw pills at me even though I’ve told my experiences with nasty side effects. This current siege started with anxiety and palpitations. The drug she wants me to take has those side effects. I don’t think she understand what a tightrope I’m on right now. I couldn’t take even one more thing I’m so close to freaking out My therapist and I know where it all came from and are doing special therapy for it but it’s so hard. Add to that although I only take a small dose of Ativan for sleep and only for a few weeks I want to get off it because it’s reputation scares me. I live alone which doesn’t help either. Just feeling particularly dark today can’t find anything to look forward too

[gerg]

I always try to look forward to these feelings ending, they always do. If I tell myself that this will pass it seems to speed up its passing.

You have friends here...

[Gillyflower18 in reply to gerg]

Thank you for replying. I know it comes in waves but this is a tsunami today. I’m trying to face it and accept it and give it time but it isn’t easy today.

[hypercat54]

There are only limited things any mental health professional can do for you and meds and counselling are the front line ones.

All meds have side effects, even paracetomol, so don't you even take those? If meds can help you then surely they are worth a try? I am on sertraline and it helps me a lot. Side effects? Only a few of the common ones, disturbing dreams, dry mouth etc. but to me they are a good trade off.

You are having counselling which is good so why not try the self help method too? Have a look at things like mindfulness, meditation, yoga and so on and look for info online ie good books to read.. x

[Gillyflower18 in reply to hypercat54]

I am meditating and doing yoga for anxiety. I looking into Sam e because I’ve heard good things about it and depression. It’s just a very bad day today. My therapist and I have started EMDR as this started after a traumatic illness when I was in my early teens. Right now the only thing I’m taking is the Ativan and although it helps anxiety it makes depression worse go figure!

[hypercat54 in reply to Gillyflower18]

Maybe you need a different med then? x

[Gillyflower18 in reply to hypercat54]

I don’t know if there’s anything else really good for anxiety. Anxiety and depression are so closely linked. My primary is depression. The anxiety is secondary. I don’t take much in the way of otc stuff. My stomach is so bad from years of this most things give it fits.

[hypercat54 in reply to Gillyflower18]

Well I have run out of suggestions then. x

[Gillyflower18 in reply to hypercat54]

Your suggestions are all good Hypercat. I just appreciate the fact that you are out there and care enough to reply. This website is the only link I have with other people like me. It’s like a lifeline

[hypercat54 in reply to Gillyflower18]

Thank you that makes me feel a little better. I just wish I could help more. x

[Gillyflower18 in reply to hypercat54]

You did help by caring ❤️

[hypercat54 in reply to Gillyflower18]

Bless 😊😘 x

[lillyofthevalley37]

When I am most sad I always turn to God or Jesus and have a talk with them they are always there always supportive

I hope a ray of hope and light can shine on you and carry you through this dark time

God Bless

[Gillyflower18]

Thank you. Maybe your prayers will help. I’m pretty distant from God right now although I am a believer.

[pink83737]

Keep your head up!

[pink318]

Hi- I’m sorry to hear about your struggles.

Have you tried to join a support group that you can meet in person. It can help you to feel less lonely especially that you live alone. I know someone from my church, she is in her 80s and she used to be sad because she is also living alone. Since she decided to attend a life group it made a big difference in her life. Try to connect with your local church and I hope it will work for you too.

I pray for strength and you will remain positive in life. I’m sorry you are going through depression but please stay strong. We are here for you. Please keep us posted. God bless.

[Gillyflower18 in reply to pink318]

Thank you. I am going to look for more connections. I will be returning to work in March. Initial work is quiet and not too taxing. It’s just planting seeds no customers. I’m so out of shape from these last few months sitting and working is a good thing for a while. I do have a good church. I just really haven’t been able to face going since the holidays