dark tunnel

[augustine02]

i know people tell me there’s a light. but i can’t see one. i’m truthfully so terrified of my own thoughts & im scared that i will go crazy one day. my anxiety is the highest it has ever been & i feel terrible. i can’t eat. i was in a really bad crisis yesterday and i called 988.. i’ve never called them before because i’ve been able to fight off anxious thoughts. i sat in my closet balling my eyes out because i felt so alone and scared of my own thoughts. i’m so sick of fighting my own mind. i feel like a prisoner to my anxiety. i know the things i think aren’t actually true but it’s just the doubt that comes in. i’m definitely depressed and anxious at the same time and it is the WORST. idk i just wanted to get my feelings out

[Starrlight]

im listening

i have made those calls and been in crisis centers for stretches its good you reached out … i wonder do you have therapy or meds to help you or a set of good coping tools to use like exercise meditation hobbies you can try to enjoy?

[augustine02 in reply to Starrlight]

yes, i take buspar & prozac. i watch tv, go thrifting, and i try to keep my life & mind busy. i still work my two jobs and try really hard to be okay. it’s just when that fear sets in, is when my brain is scared and it makes my whole body scared. and then my brain is so used to the fear that i stay like that.. if that makes any sense.

[Starrlight in reply to augustine02]

i get it the brain learns the pattern of thoughts/feeling/behavior but we can change it at any time by putting positive affirmations to manifest into thought feeling and behavior as much as you can i know its hard to heal and break the cycle. i hope you keep writing if it helps i find it helps me wether its alone and for myself or on here with others

[Craigliving4Jane in reply to augustine02]

Did you ever try with your doc to increase the Buspar?

[augustine02 in reply to Craigliving4Jane]

i don’t have an appointment until the 21st

[brendonkellyrox]

you wanna see the light well here we are people care about you trust me i scream and cried all night before stay strong just ive dealt with depression anxiety and thoughts of suicide for years now and peoploe here help in my short time here we are here for you💙

[Mskitty21]

I can TOTALLY understand this. And I am really sorry you’re in that place.

There are a bazillion resources, YouTube videos, and apps that you can utilize until you find what works for you. There is a really good affirmations listening video on YouTube by The Anxiety Guy ‘daily affirmations for health and mental wellbeing’. It had been helpful for me to but in some earbuds and listen to that just to drown out the negative thoughts.

Also prayer helps me a lot. 🩷

I want you to know you can conquer this and things will get better. There will still be bad days as usual but they won’t last forever… just like the difficulties you are having now won’t last forever.

My best healing vibes and thoughts sent to you 😊

[CLB1125]

Im so sorry you are having such a hard time. I’m glad you called for help. We are for you. How long have you been on your medication regimen? Could it be time to review with your doctor how well they are working? Sometimes our bodies get used to them and we need to tweak it a bit.

[augustine02 in reply to CLB1125]

so i’ve been on and off of it since october 2022, i stopped taking it some times because i would feel better & be so busy i would forget. i think it just finally all caught up to me. i’m on prozac and buspar, i feel like neither of them are helping honestly. and if they are helping, then all it’s doing is numbing me.

[lauralidia]

I’m so sorry you are going through this.I remember feeling so desperate and going crazy.And nothing helped,no verbal things helped like positive affirmations because I think I’ve got scared when I was an infant,before words meant anything.I would listen to music,try to soothe myself with my favorite foods,hot tea,a really cheesy tv show.Told myself I’m writing this day off.The next day is always better.Hope today is better for you too,hang in there

[Cardinals1 in reply to lauralidia]

I know how you feel. I too have that feeling of being scared, having excessive worry, and going crazy. I have dealt with this off and on for many years. I do try to keep it together,but there are times when it is really tough. My husband tries to understand , but he has never dealt with it , so he really does not. I have stomach problems, muscle tension (face, ear and jaw pain) , nervousness, tingling in hands and feet, and lump in throat feeling , and excessive worry about losing it. I am on Lexapro, but I feel I really need a therapist that deals in health anxiety/anxiety. I have been watching you tube videos that have helped some. The problem with me is finding a qualified therapist in my rural area.

[lauralidia]

is hard finding a good therapist.Keep up the good work and take good care of yourself❤️

[augustine02]

i think i need all the prayers i can get. thank you so much. i do pray.. but it’s hard for me to believe in god. i wish i could have that kind of faith.