life is hard I’m a skeptical person on medication because I’m not entirely sure mine is fully a chemical imbalance. But I’m so conflicted if I should’ve even stopped the Zoloft I was 19 days in the diarrhea had stopped some of its other side effects stopped even stopped my brain from overthinking some and stopped the weird poking sensation I got all over. But I also had some weird things come back like the cold sensation that shoots through my chest and arms and even moved down to my legs and pins and needles. And also seemed to feel my heart racing more even seeming like it skipped beats and such. And definitely felt my anxiety being higher and felt weird after taking it for like 12 hours after I took it. So like idk anymore I’ve taken clonazepam the last two days it helps a little. I don’t have any for like good advice the doctors are just like stop the medicine. My therapist can’t give me his advice on it. I want to get better but I can’t seem to find what’s going to make me better. I’m also now convinced that my panic attacks are actually seizures like I don’t convulse or anything I just like freeze up not stiff my mind just goes blank I feel like shit. It’s all funky. I’m crying out and I want help I want the right answers.
I really am conflicted: life is hard I... - Anxiety and Depre...
I really am conflicted
I so wish the answers would show themselves to you. I very much care how you’re doing and my heart goes out to you and hurts for you. I always will be praying that you to find the solutions you need. Keep being the strong person who you are.
thank you 
You know what? I just recalled that I was diagnosed as having small brain seizures when I was younger and it’s been a long time since that was brought up and I assume I don’t have them anymore I don’t even know how someone would diagnose this anyhow actually…as this diagnosis was before I took any brain scans or anything of the like. But anyway I used to just be ‘gone’ like really zoned out to the point where people would be like wondering about me… some made fun of me for ‘daydreaming’ or ‘being away’ and I was at times unaware of what had just happened in reality because I was off somewhere else. Does this sound like what you go through? Nowadays I get caught up in my mind but I am just overthinking and I can pull myself back to a conversation alright. I’m not saying you have anything I don’t know but what you describe sounds familiar… for how long do you freeze up like go not thinking?
idk if I’m really freezing up like I freeze up but like it’s not horrible like I’ll just be talking and it feels like my mind just jumps and forgets everything that was just said before but I could remember it if I really tried thinking about it. It’s frustrating af
that sounds like me nowadays it’s hard to focus and recall what was just said to me and I think it’s stress and feeling anxious and overwhelmed
yeah that would make sense I also seem to be getting migraines again. Have you ever been sitting or laying there and randomly feel like you’re moving?
I am getting migraines lately too. Hmmm does it look like you’re moving or your body feels the movement when you actually are not?
like it feels like my body is moving when it’s not happens with my eyes open or shut it’s strange I’ll be laying there and bam feels like my body is moving hell maybe my brain is sensing the earth moving 😂😂😂😂
oh yeah it’s got to be the earth moving 😉 😂… no way that it’s our brains messing with us … but seriously I’ve experienced a feeling similar I think it’s dissociation that’s what my therapist thinks. It’s usually when I’m getting agitated
so I’m making big attempts to really pay attention and not let my mind trail away it’s hard
Clonazepam causes this, so were u having this before u started that medication?
Also, the moving sounds like vertigo. Maybe other medications can be causing it? I'm pretty sure anxiety/panic attacks can cause all of these symptoms. I had all kinds if weird things happen after i passed out before, i always thought i was off balance, but it was anxiety, cuz after a couple of years on Clonazepam, it went away, & i even felt some of the same sensations that i knew i misinterpreted, & it no longer made me Panic, so i know now it was all anxiety. Hopefully this will happen with you over time, also.
I wish that I could answer your questions. My doctors have put me on so much medication I don't know what is helping and what isn't. I do applaud you, though, for taking the time to figure it out. At your age so many people ignore themselves and look for something outside to help. Please keep working on it. My son is 25, is a recovering drug addict (anything he could do without a needle), and is so angry at everything and says he needs both physical and mental /emotional help but doesn't get it.
I’m so sorry about your son. I hope he I able to find the help he wants. I’d say I’m lucky in the sense that I’ve tried drugs and alcohol and they didn’t do anything for me and I hated them and still hate them but I feel for the people who struggle with their issues I see it in friends. I’m trying so hard to figure it out.
Although not the same by any means I try to imagine if I had to walk totally away from something that I really like, whether it's something to eat or drink, or a hobby, or exercise. Especially exercise... Your body craves it still but you have to just sit and binge tv shows. Hobbies like reading, crafts, or sitting on the front porch gossiping are hard to shut out of your mind. You want to pick up the book but you can no longer do so. Again, I know that these examples don't compare. He lived on the street or surfed from "new friend" to "new friend" on and off for years before asking to come home.
Your situation reminds me somewhat of mine. I've tried nearly every antidepressant (and others in other categories off label) and I had never felt much of a difference (I do believe they work...just never did for me). It sounds like it might have been working for you if troublesome things went away and have returned now with you coming off the medications. I don't know your medical history and I'm not a doctor, but anxiety has so many different variations of presenting itself that your symptoms could be completely different from mine. You could always explore the possibility of seizures but it seems more like anxiety. I did the same when I was having visual issues....a brain scan, EEG, and so on. Nothing. Perfectly normal. I've done therapy, seen psychiatrists, tried hypnotherapy, and on and on.
Like you, all of this reached a point for me where I was super frustrated....sometimes I still am. My primary doctor still has me on an antidepressant and a medication for immediate anxiety relief. I take a beta blocker (ask your doctor about that if you're concerned about the heart symptoms). But I'll pass along some sobering but helpful advice a psychiatrist gave to me: you need to learn to live with this. (To clarify....not just manage day to day....but find a path that works for you regularly. Not at all saying, "Deal with it!" This was a long run type advice.) He expressed that things like diet, exercise, talk therapy, and so on would do far better for me than the antidepressants. This is again isn't to say they don't work or they can't supplement the others. So I began to really try a lot of things I was skeptical of. I tried meditation, self-kindness, self-awareness, and even acupuncture. I am living with anxiety.....but I have found certain things that work for me. I can live a little. I can be kind to myself because I read your post and I see someone who is so frustrated that a little self-kindness might help. Being harder on yourself and judging your decisions....you're just trying to do what's best for you. Only you know what's best for you....and it can be hard. Definitely allow a little kindness to yourself while you manage.
We may all have to live with our "issues" or really what's basically "us". In most cases, such as anxiety, it's good to see in a different light. One being that anxiety is rooted in all of us to survive. We seem to have the good old fashioned old hard wiring that sees a dinosaur running after us rather than just the stressful situation before us. But this anxiety is for survival. Anyway, I do think it's worth doing some self-exploration here. See what works, what doesn't work. In my case meditation started breaking some barriers. Acupuncture had me feeling like a billion dollars for awhile. I started treating some anxiety issues with simple things like cooling towels and/or bilateral stimulation devices (mine are called Touchpoints....not trying to sell here, just my story). I found apps that guide me through meditation or also use bilateral stimulation. I have basically formed my own little anxiety bug out bag for when things go sideways to get me back on my feet.
Seeing doctors and therapists is a good method for the process. They don't always have all the answers. While I've stayed with my current primary doctor for a decade plus now, I have seen quite a few therapists with different methods. Again, I think there is just so much they can do....especially in a "pill" society where everything is solved that way because we all do want answers quickly. Unfortunately for us, anxiety isn't solved with an antibiotic that ends the issues. I am just sorry to hear of your suffering so badly because I know where that bottom is....and it's not fun. But please get off the ground and back on the horse. Explore around to see what works for you. When I got back on the horse and did some exploration, it really made a sizable difference. Sometimes small....but noticeable and it's important to celebrate even small break throughs. We are our own best advocates so if you think it could be a seizure? By all means, ask and get those answers because you deserve that much. I hope any of this helped and I truly do hope you're able to find whatever it is that at least gets you back to a stable place where you feel comfortable at minimum. Be kind to yourself while you manage....you're dealing with plenty....take care!
hello aequitas adam and anyone reading, thats very good advice, personally i find my anxiety isveased by swimming, and walking in nature, music and dancing, anything that gives the mind a break, during lockdown i got out took photos of nature sunsets animals etc, i have gone back to meditation again theres some things on internet can download to watch listen to rather than just a cd, i used to turn to drink but found it made things worst as couldnt stop at a couple, im now what i call a recovering binge drinker, day 4 now, i found swimming released seratonin and helped lift my mood and relaxed me helped sleep, and am returning to that soon as i can. In thereoy i was told events from childhood gave me a anxiety problem, i found cognitive therepy helpful i write things down im anxious about and try find possible solutions positive outcomes instead of foccusing on worst sinario, i deep breath when my hearts pounding from anxiety it helps this, i hope you all find something to help 🤗🌟
Hi, Twinklystar, same! I used to binge drink and I'm over four years of what I call "partially sober" as I still drink NA beers (technically has alcohol in it, but very little). Congrats on day 4! Wishing you the best in continuing to keep that number going!
I agree too with the cognitive therapy and writing things down. I had issues I addressed with hypnotherapy from when I was young and I want to think that helped a lot. I can relate to the childhood experiences possibly linking to my current anxiety. But you're right with documenting the experience so you can begin to filter out the triggers and look at every experience with curiosity instead of fear. It's hard at first but with time, you have a lot of data to work with and work through it logically. Great thoughts and also wishing you the best through all you deal with. And again, best wishes with your recovery! Each day feels better and better!
hi thank you, youve done so well 4 years, i reached 3 months twice with help of none alcohol beer, i will get some i had milky cocoa last night and chamomile tea before bed or when id reach for a drink it does relax me and i realise its just that mood needing to pass, i went to AA couple years ago but realised i didnt need it but since realised binge drinking is a form of alcoholism i think my last experience of 2 bottles wine and quarter bottle cider on saturday and upsetting my mam, and my cat and misplacing my bank cards and money was a wake up call, last time one of my liver counts was high it got normal i eventually built up my drinking, having shop across road didnt help i am back living at mams house, hoping my house sells 🤗
I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. Sometimes , actually many times it is trial and error to find the right medication or combination of medications. Always listen to your body. As soon as it tells you something is not right, listen. You know your body best !
I think many of us are conflicted on this issue. Personally I never had much help with anti-depressants. Too many side effects. ( I tried many in a period of 20 years) This isnt true for everyone though. Counseling with CBT( Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and meditation helped me the most. . Hoping you find some relief soon.💕
Hi Adam
Try not to overthink this. It’s medication that has been prescribed to help manage your anxiety. It sounds like this medication was not right for you. I personally did not feel well on Zoloft. There are others you can try. The side effects shouldn’t be so bad and they should subside and start helping you to feel better. More hopeful. There is no magic cure but it should be helping. Keep trying ❤️
OMG , sweetie, you are in widrawal, whicwhiciwhici is not good.
Your Dr should reduced the doze, littel by littel to avoid the seizures. And there are .edicines for that like phenobarbital or something else.
You need to be under supervision by a medical team, you should not do this by yourself.
Im.sorry tour Dr is not smart.
I advice you check into a detox center, they do a great job !
Right now in on a detox center because of xanax.
I was taking xanax for 8 years for anxiety and panic attacks.
And O needed.more and more...i became dependent.
So I took a big step to detox .
The first days are very rough but now, after 4 days in the center, i feel much better!
Wishing you all the best!
i don't think he would have withdrawals after 19 days. It takes months for the medication to even work completely.
Hi Adamj, so sorry to hear you’re having a hard time !! yeh this can be tough . I think most of us have questioned medication , gone through the ups and downs of wether to have it , which ones ??? The daunting thought of weeks of waiting to see if it works?? Side effects?? Do I persist ?? It can be quite overwhelming, If your having depression then there will be a chemical imbalance in your brain . Wether that came first or if pain and heartache , or stress, or trauma or for reasons you can’t pinpoint caused the imbalance , the imbalance is still there ( like what came first the chicken or the egg scenario ) . Sometimes therapy can help , sometimes it’s just for whatever reason , and sometimes it’s better to give your brain a helping hand in correcting the imbalance and helping you on your way to feeling better. I can tell you my experience and maybe it will help you decide what’s best for you . I had severe depression for a long time ,muddled through for years and years , didn’t take meds ( well tried a couple of times for a couple weeks here and there ), not because I’m against them or anything just didn’t think they’d work I guess . Anyway I now do take an antidepressant ( ironically started taking it as I got better, I suppose I was thinking clearer) and I can say I’m in a REALLY good place . I’ve been on the same one for a few years now , and I can definitely say I’m much happier and I treasure that so much . I may not need them forever but I’ll know in time when I’m ready . I was quite severe so I’m not in any rush . Also even though the task of going through the motions and time of working out which meds are right for you it really is worth it and may not take as long as you think and not as overwhelming when you break it down.
I started off on sertraline (Zoloft ) . My anxious thoughts increased and became closer together after couple of weeks . Had the thought could be meds. I weaned off. And started on escitalopram. No side effects for me . Feeling soooo much better.!! happy with this medication., I have to say though that meds can work differently for different people . And talk to your dr obviously. Oh and I’ve had numbness and tingling in my hands and feet and noticed I’d changed my breathing because I was having a panic attack which meant wasn’t getting enough oxygen ; therefore the numbness. I hope some of this helps and hope you’re feeling much better soon !!🌤☀️🤗
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