I worry

[Rufus07]

I worry , obsess. about the future “what ifs” so much I find it hard to function on a daily basis. I cry uncontrollably everyday. I don’t know how to stop. I see my new therapist this week. This will only be the second time I’ve seen her. Hopefully we have a connection and she can offer some advice. Does anyone else have this issue and can maybe offer some advice?

[Starrlight]

I do worry about the future so much too. It helps when I practice mindfulness - intentionally paying attention to each moment as it unfolds. I also like taking deep breaths, walking Coco, nature, nighttime meditation, writing, tea, caring for others.

[Rufus07 in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you for the suggestions. When my mind starts , there doesn’t seem like anything I try helps. It just gets so overwhelming I can’t break free.

[Starrlight in reply to Rufus07]

Oh it’s really intense. I have those times and I completely panic. I think talking to or just being around someone then is helpful. Also recalling that it will end. I so hope you find what helps you.

[Rufus07 in reply to Starrlight]

I completely panic too. My problem is I have no one to talk too. Mine is always in the early a.m. till early afternoon. Sig. other is at work and I don’t want to bother my son and my daughter doesn’t understand and can be very cold which just makes it worse. I’m hoping with my new therapist I can find some relief. Thank you for your well wishes.

[Starrlight in reply to Rufus07]

You can always come on here and write your thoughts out. I hope you find relief too.

[Rufus07 in reply to Starrlight]

🙂

[Starrlight in reply to Rufus07]

I know it’s so overwhelming and I honestly feel like it’s hell. Sometimes I cannot function at all and the walls close on me and there’s too much- to much clutter, too much noise, too much in my brain too much dirt everywhere, even if I’d just cleaned. Do you feel those at all too? I feel like it’s some kind of panic/ocd attack is how I’d describe it

[Rufus07 in reply to Starrlight]

Yes I do! Definitely too much in my brain. I too have the inability to function. I just sit on the couch and cry my eyes out pleading with God to help me.

[Starrlight in reply to Rufus07]

So sorry we both go through it. I walk around doing strange anxiety fueled motions with my hands and say it’s too much over and over.

[Rufus07 in reply to Starrlight]

My biggest anxiety fueled motion is tapping my hand on my leg continuously, rapidly.

[ajcvt66 in reply to Starrlight]

I agree that animals and being in nature, as well as preparing and drinking tea, and focusing on others are helpful things in my experience. It is sometimes physically paralyzing during a bad episode.

[Rufus07 in reply to ajcvt66]

I don’t know what I would do without my dog. As far as nature goes, I live in the city, so all I have is the concrete jungle. I do agree that it can be physically paralyzing during a bad episode.

[Zebra85]

I used to be exactly like this my mind was on constant over-think, it literally felt like I was going to insane but I managed to change it all around. I do have maybe the odd day were a thought might be there longer then I would it to be but it’s not keeping me awake anymore.

At the start you might find it hard or it isn’t working but keep with the process.

When a thought of the future pops in that causes me stress of worry for example I worry about dying and leaving my children behind- what can I do now to change it- make healthy changes now eat better, exercise I was living and unhealthy lifestyle so this would benefit my health and that deep rooted feeling that I was damaging myself and wouldn’t be around long.

See if you can change the thought to a positive or make a slight change where possible. It helped me to write it down plus I journaled my thoughts I didn’t have people to talk to about it so that was my outlet.

You’re making the right steps asking for help and seeking out a therapist and posting on this forum. Hope this helps

[Rufus07 in reply to Zebra85]

Thank you

[Ana_tamisoul]

It’s exhausting to feel stuck in the “what ifs.” You don’t have to carry this alone. Breathe, take it moment by moment, and please reach out to someone who cares,you deserve support and kindness, especially from yourself

[Rufus07 in reply to Ana_tamisoul]

Thank you

[Florida1959]

Nature, I find when I feel like that I take each hour as it comes. meditation and deep breaths, four in, hold for four, and seven out, a few times. Creativity, doing small jobs of a tick list, tea, tea is wonderful, some herbal teas are great. Complimentary therapies too, sending hugs x

[Rufus07 in reply to Florida1959]

Sending hugs back, thank you

[moxond]

Hi Rufus l understand the anxious thought patterns that can deplete self belief be the the present moment were theses negative emotion comes from replacing these with positive beliefs happens with self Reflection a better image from the inside out important not let them determine the process and outcome of feelings relaxing taking deep breaths aligning true thoughts with effect setting new intentions empowering self being overcoming self doubt awareness of purpose distracting self strengthening self estemne you are worthy when find meaning joy lighten burdens

[Rufus07 in reply to moxond]

Thank you

[NorwegianWood]

Sounds like you have some good help lined up.

The human brain is weird! Sometimes our worry is about regret for the past, sometimes it's worries for the future. You can't change the past, and the future will always have challenges, but that's the human condition.

The thing that is always there for my 'use' is mindfulness'. (It's basically mindful, slow breathing to stop your brain racing.) I use it every night to relax and sleep, rather than processing regrets, mistakes, imperfections, gaffs and so on. I use a few techniques and they work together to slow the racing.

[Rufus07 in reply to NorwegianWood]

Thank you for the suggestions

[blackblack]

I am also in ur condition since many years. Antidepressants help some where,but not always.i am reading self help books,but none of them are always working.I Wish ur life will go smoothly.

[Rufus07 in reply to blackblack]

Thank you

[jjpeabody]

Worrying is a built in process all humans have. Good news, it works equally well if you worry about Good things and actions. It's all about repetition and what you're habitually thinking about and the actions you're taking. Acknowledge those negative thoughts and write them down, then write down solutions to resolve that fearful outcome(s). Keep a daily to-do list of positive actions and thoughts, including goals, positive thoughts about yourself and the good person you want to become (and actually already are if you just started being that person). Remember, this worrying process is based on repetition and inaction/not taking steps to be your best. Worry about good things and actions, write them down and go to work. Good luck.

[Rufus07 in reply to jjpeabody]

Thank you

[Worrier1960]

Find medication that works. You may need to try several to find then right one. Once you do, you will take comfort in that fact that it's there whe you need it.

[Rufus07 in reply to Worrier1960]

thank you

[-Charlie]

hi Rufus, I think worrying is normal, we all do it but obsessive worry is terrible for our heart and overall health. When I start to worry obsessively I usually stop and ask myself logically how is my worrying helping? Is it preventing any of my what ifs from happening? My answer is usually always no. Try to focus on what you CAN control and take practical steps in those things. I know it’s easy to get caught up in the loop of one worry leads to another and then another until we can’t see logically what are mind is doing to us. Distract your mind with something else, going outside for a walk and observing nature always breaks the worrying cycle for me. Best to you.

[Rufus07 in reply to -Charlie]

I know the worrying doesn’t help but I just can’t seem to stop. It’s like it overpowers me. It has such a strong hold I just can’t break free! Thank you for your suggestions

[Monkey104 in reply to Rufus07]

same, my brain never stops

[Rufus07 in reply to Monkey104]

It sucks, doesn’t it?

[-Charlie in reply to Rufus07]

I understand. I look at it like a bad habit. If I had even a penny for every minute I’ve wasted worrying I’d be set. Keep trying to distract yourself until you find little moments of reprieve and you can slowly build on those things. New habits take several weeks to sink in so you have to be patient with yourself and again, keep working on the logical thinking. We all have the ability to see things logically we just don’t use it enough. xxx

[Rufus07 in reply to -Charlie]

Thank you

[MM08 in reply to -Charlie]

I agree that getting outside (when it's not below zero!) can be very helpful. I have been talking to a therapist who recommended some books/authors that could be helpful as well. The first was written in the 1940s, but has been updated - "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. The other author is Claire Weekes, who has written a few books on the topic. I cannot vouch for either of them, as I just ordered them myself. (I am also not promoting or making any $ from these suggestions.) I know there are many self-help books out there, and often I find them too simplistic. However, I'm open to anything that might bring some positive change to this awful cycle of worry!

[Rufus07 in reply to MM08]

It’s too cold here in Michigan to walk outside. (At least is is for me). I joined the gym last week, went 3 times and I’m already bored. I know in my mind that exercise is good for us, but I just can’t seem to make myself go. It feels like another chore I just don’t have the energy or motivation to do. I’m trying to talk myself into going as we speak. My sig. other read about a book online called The A.C.E.R. Method….accept challenge embrace repeat. I just started it. Hopefully it will shed some light.

[-Charlie in reply to MM08]

Hi MM08,

I’ve read Claire Weekes’ books but it’s been a minute since reading Dale Carnegie. My parents use to have his books laying around when I was a kid and I remember thinking they did make sense. My all time fav self help book was the first one I ever read as a kid called The Sky’s The Limit by Wayne Dyer. Maybe because it was the first one I read but something about the way he explained things really spoke to me.

I’m sorry, I always forget about the cold weather as I’m in Southern California. Maybe a really really fast walk when it’s below zero.😉it’s the best way I break the worry cycle if all my logical thinking fails me. That and my animals are good distractions to bring me back to my senses. Something else I try to do is say “ok tomorrow you can worry all you want from 7 am - 7:30 am but that’s it! When that coffee cup is empty you gotta move on!!!” It kinda helps so far but boy do I really cram a whole boat load of worry into those 30 minutes. 😀

I hope you can find something that works in the books you ordered. Knowledge is power so we must keep learning and applying what we learn to see the positive results. Thx for the reply and best to you xx

[summervale789]

I have this too. I've read the Claire Weekes books, they are helpful. Meditation also helps and is easy to learn. Exercise and eating right also. Best wishes.

[Rufus07 in reply to summervale789]

I’ll have to check out some of her books. Others have made reference to her books and have found some help. I try to eat healthy but I just can’t motivate myself to exercise. Thank you for your reply.

[Gigi1951]

sit down and write a list of your what ifs. Then think about the solutions to these problems then ask yourself how likely the what if will occur. Somewhere you had trauma where you felt that you had no control and now you wanna make sure you scan the environment and keep tight control. Remind yourself that you’re wasting time on what if that may never happen but the things that you need to do today won’t happen unless you get to them, so make a list of the things that you need to do what your goals are how you’re gonna accomplish those goals and then congratulate yourself but doing a great job

[Rufus07 in reply to Gigi1951]

Thank you for the suggestion 🙂

[Rufus07 in reply to Gigi1951]

The thing is, my worries WILL happen. It’s just a matter of time.

[MM08]

Has anyone found some meds that have helped that are not benzos?

[Rufus07 in reply to MM08]

I’ve been on meds for over 30 years. Some have helped but after years have stopped working. Have tried a bunch in the past 2 years to no avail. My doc said he wont try anything else unless I go back to therapy. I just started back a week ago.

[jjpeabody in reply to MM08]

To answer MM08, SSRI'S never worked for me by themselves. Sertaline in combination with Trazodone had possibilities. Serzone was the absolute best by itself, however it has relatively rare but serious liver effects however a psychiatrist told me he felt risk was low, it's still available by Tevia I believe as generic. Mertazipine was a good one for me, gained at least 10 pounds and good for insomnia. It seemed to stop working after awhile but I may have needed to up dose. I would use med in combination with therapy. Good luck everyone.

[Rufus07 in reply to jjpeabody]

I won’t try anything that’s going to make me gain weight. My self esteem is so low right now because of weight gain I can’t even imagine gaining more. I am on meds for anxiety and bipolar which don’t seem to help, but not a specific antidepressant. Both of those seem to have run their course. Hopefully I can try a new antidepressant soon.

[Rufus07 in reply to MM08]

No they haven’t and fortunately or unfortunately benzos work great. Very addictive as we all know and basically just a band aid

[jjpeabody]

It almost sounds like you're hypnotized into believing nothing will work, but don't give up or stop posting. I would got to a psychopharmacologist for med at this point. To answer MM08, SSRI'S never worked for me by themselves. Sertaline in combination with Trazodone had possibilities. Serzone was the absolute best by itself, however it has relatively rare but serious liver effects however a psychiatrist told me he felt risk was low, it's still available by Tevia I believe as generic. Mertazipine was a good one for me, gained at least 10 pounds and good for insomnia. It seemed to stop working after awhile but I may have needed to up dose. I would use med in combination with therapy. Good luck everyone.

[Rufus07 in reply to jjpeabody]

It does feel like my brain is obsessed with the future and can’t find any happiness in the present.

[boojiboo]

Journaling in the now such as what you did during this day at this time and set goals

[Rufus07 in reply to boojiboo]

I’ve tried journaling but never seem to get anything out of it. But thank you for the suggestion.

[PopGirl82]

I worry about whether I will ever be able to function again. I am having trouble making a life for myself as someone with chronic pain. I know that one day at a time is the best way to live but it is not always easy. You are just getting started with your new therapist. Give it some time but I would discuss it with her or him. Good luck to you!

[Rufus07 in reply to PopGirl82]

Thank you

[MM08]

I have been on 5 mg Prozac for 2 weeks, probably increasing soon to 10 mg. Has anyone had experience with this?

I already have liver damage from Effexor, so I'm weaning off that.

[Rufus07 in reply to MM08]

Prozac is what I was first on over 30 years ago. It worked for a long time and then ran its course. I wonder after all this time if I got on it again, it would work.

[jjpeabody]

I think you are on the right track with therapy and hopefully a med that will help you implement some of these other recommendations offered here which could result in real long lasting change. If you've never gone to a psychopharmacologist I would definitely give it a try. Best of luck.

[Rufus07 in reply to jjpeabody]

No, I’ve have never gone to one. What exactly is it?

[jjpeabody in reply to Rufus07]

Hi Rifus07, they are like psychiatrist but with special training about how medications react with the brain and what may be best and most effective for a patients particular symptoms like anxiety, panic, obsession, depression, worry etc. Often a primary care doctor may refer you to one after they have tried a few medications that have not worked, they are specialist. I went to one and he came up with about 4 or 5 medications suited for my particular needs and he was pretty accurate. They aren't generally a therapist you go to continuously but focused on what medication(s) can help you and monitor to see what works best. There was no stress meeting with him and he was focused on my symptoms and what med may be best to help. You could ask them about your Prozac experience even. But you would also want to keep with your regular therapist to discuss your life. I found it the right thing to do and glad my PCP recommended it. Good luck.

[Rufus07 in reply to jjpeabody]

Thank you for the explanation. It sounds like something I would be interested in.

[Starrlight]

how are you doing today?

[Rufus07 in reply to Starrlight]

I got a lot done, but now my body and mind feels like I did too much.

[Starrlight in reply to Rufus07]

Me too.

[Rufus07 in reply to Starrlight]

We think we are doing good then it just comes back and bites us

[Starrlight in reply to Rufus07]

Yup it’s waves constantly for some of us. It’s exhausting. I am honestly making the problems for myself, but it’s because I’m suffering so I make bad choices. But I can’t keep making excuses.