Do you sometimes lay in bed at night and get this overwhelming feeling of fear. You feel so small and so vulnerable. Like there is this darkness, this war, coming and you are completely helpless. You can't protect yourself. Or the people you love. Its terrifying. It torment. My thoughts are torment. They go on and on and on. I am so mentally drained trying to be good enough. Trying to be strong. I just can't. And I feel so alone. I know I am not alone. I believe in Jesus. But I still wish I had someone to talk to my age. I wish I didn't spend everyday isolated from my age group. I just feel really distant and sad. Like one day I am here and the next I won't be. And nobody at my school would stop to wonder why I never came back. Thinking like this makes me sad. I've been to a hospital before for suicidality. Im trying not to have to go back there. I had hoped the depression and fear would be better. Please tell me I'm not the only one afraid of shadows outside my window and in my head.