Being alone

Does anyone else have trouble being alone? Like just not in the presence of any other person. It's like I'm alone with my own thoughts overthinking over analyzing. Putting myself in some state of depression and anxiety and can't seem to find my way out of. I think it just makes my issues harder. Maybe being around people just makes me ignore my problems. I don't want to spend more time alone than I do but maybe that's the solution. Seclude myself and get used to being alone cause people aren't ever there when you really need them. When you feel like your drowning. They just tell you, learn to be alone. Learn to be happy alone. I dont know I guess that's just not enough. I can do things that make me happy. I can smile. I can laugh. I can feel on top of the world. But sooner or later I come back to this place. Alone. Anxious. Scared. Sad. I can't seem to come out from under this cloud..I'm becoming more and more hopeless..

10 Replies

  • A strong need to be around other people is a symptom of anxiety.

    Hopelessness is a symptom of depression.

    Your message is full of anxiety and depression. Have you seen a doctor about this? How about a GP or internist to have a check up and to rule out any other physical problem like hypothyroidism? And you would need to mention your depression and anxiety also. See what the doctor recommends.

    If you have no other disease you would ideally make appointments with a psychiatrist and a counselor. The psychiatrist would manage your medicine and the counselor your talk therapy and how you cope with the difficulties your disease presents in your life. I've been successfully treated for both anxiety and depression with both kinds of professionals for 29 years and I've been through hell when I was very sick but I've also had mostly wonderful years of great health and functioning. I do understand how awful you feel now but it can be so much better. Hang in there and fight for yourself!! You CAN do it!

  • I understand exactly where you're coming from. I'm in exactly the same place. Especially in the mornings. Intensely painful and hopeless. Convinced that nothing will ever work out and that ... well, yes. I do have to get up as "nature calls". Otherwise, I don't think I ever could have. Know that someone experiences exactly the same problems. Let's chat if you like. I'll be back in about 5 minutes. Hang in there

  • I am back. I am new - this is the first thing I've ever posted here, so I don't quite know how it works. I guess if you write back, I'll get a note in my "in box". I am in Eastern Standard Time if that helps. Being alone and being under a deep dark cloud. I hear you - take care. I guess we have to hang in there. I have tried medication & psychotherapy. I wish it helped more. Which is not to say you shouldn't try it. But I have not found it's a substitute for this kind of communication. With someone who is there/been there. Bye for now

  • I have not tried medication. I'm afraid it won't help and I'll feel even more helpless. It's just exhausting. I wish it could all go away. I know my need to have people around me puts a strain on my relationships.. I just don't know how to overcome it..

  • Can you reread your original message and see how you sound like you're at the end of your rope? And you still don't have an idea how to help yourself? How about skipping the idea of medication for now but get yourself into counseling and see if that helps you? I also have a list of non-drug options that people on this site have recommended. Would you like a copy of that list?

  • Yes

  • Some natural non-drug remedies and sources of information are books, videos, and workbooks suggested by other people on this site:

    1---"I've found David D. Burns' "Feeling Good" and "When Panic Attacks" to be very helpful."

    2---"I am working through the anxiety workbook by Dr David Carbonell and it has helped immensely!!! "

    3---TRE (Trauma releasing exercises) is something you can learn in a class but you don't have to talk about your problems and once you have learned the technique you can use it at home.

    4---The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

    Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

    By: Matthew McKay PhD, Jeffrey Wood PsyD, Jeffrey Brantley MD

    A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills

    First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

    Source: NewHarbingerPublications

    Caution for non-Buddhists: Zen Buddhism inspired aspects of DBT, along with behavioral science and dialectical philosophy. Source:

    5---"A good book that I came across recently is "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 6th Edition" by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD. You might find this book to be of some help to you, although communicating your thoughts and feelings in a group setting is enormously helpful as well. "

    6---For anxiety: Claire Weekes audio books on iTunes.

    7---Another really good CD and book is the Linden method.

    8---Videos on YouTube by THAT ANXIETY GUY helps with anxiety re: depersonalization/ de-realization states.

    9---"Go on the psychology today site and look for a therapist that specializes in anxiety."

    10-“Have you ever listened to Louise Hay on YouTube? Some of the talks help motivate you and hopefully you will feel a positive energy.”

    11—“I called one of these online therapist sites. The therapist was really good. It was prestoexperts dot com. Her name was Lori Burke. Definitely a professional and she got me through this awful depression/anxiety morning.”

    12---For meditation look at:

    Tara Brach and Chopra Center

  • thanks for the information

  • Hi Helpless, I'm here. My symptoms got so bad this morning, I called one of these online therapist sites. The therapist was really good. It was prestoexperts dot com. Her name was Lori Burke. Definitely a professional and she got me through this awful depression/anxiety morning. I would recommend her. I'm still suffering right now but it's a lot better, I gotta tell you. Wow, if you can get a therapist like her, I think it would help a lot. 'Course I can't afford it on a regular basis. But definitely helpful. So I gotta keep going this morning, but I'll try to stay in touch. Take care - glad you wrote back

  • Morganax, where are you? How do I find you on the site? thanks

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