Just seems as though I am getting worse every day. I'm back to waking up far too early in a full panic. Bad stomach pain when I eat anything. Trying to eat and drink so I don't go all the way down again. Futile.
Can't stand. Pain. Can't sit. Pain. Can't do work to feel like a person. No focus; fear.
I want it all to be over. I struggle for the smallest gains and then they are all gone and I'm worse than ever. I don't want this awful life. Too hurt. Too sick. Too much pain. Alone. Alone. All alone.
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I was feeling the same way a few months ago and I asked my psychiatrist about ECT treatment. I was hospitalized and underwent 3 treatments and immediately felt better. Look into it.
You're not alone. I've met some great people on this site and we're all struggling in these pandemic times. And honestly in some ways wouldn't you rather be alone than around someone you can't stand??? There's a difference between loneliness and solitude. Keep coming on here, there's good people here.
No eye rolling here. The Goo Goo Dolls is the name of a popular rock/pop band. I like a lot of their songs. If your curious you can watch some of their music videos on YouTube. A couple of songs I love by them are Iris and Rebel Beat.
I can relate to the stomach issues (oh boy, do I ever!) and worsening conditions. How well I know that friends on an Internet forum can't replace a physical presence. But we can listen and hear you.
I hear you.
The despair must be so heavy right now; I know I can't unburden you of it, but, if I may, I can carry Hope for you, until you can hold it again yourself.
Hey why don't you watch a comedy, something to make you laugh? Like Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe. I personally love Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey. Anything to lighten the mood.
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And by the way, my age is much older than 14!!! I'm actually about to turn 50. Yikes!!!!😐
Sounds like you need to get into counseling? It got so Bad for Me that I had to retire from my job of 32 years. I’ve been on medication n Counseling. 😷🙏
Only thing I can relate to is the waking-up-in-a-panic thing. A Claire Weekes book “Hope and Help for Your Nerves” taught me not to fight it. I hope this helps you. If you have done this already, at least know there’s one more person out there who cares, even if their advice isn’t helpful. I got tired of not-helpful advice, too.
I would get up, grab a favorite book and my writing stuff, and move to another comfortable place. Beds are for sleeping, not worrying about not sleeping, or worrying about anything else for that matter. That weakened the bad association my brain had with my bed, as the place I wrestle my thoughts alone in the dark. And worrying about not sleeping is just rehearsing one more worry, and just fuels the anxious state. That’s what I would do—worry about not sleeping because I had to go to work.
Then I would read, or pray, or write out the poison, as I used to call journaling. Or do chores, laundry or dishes. Next day, I felt like reheated road kill, but less anxious. And I’m learned that eventually mind and body would sleep, not as soon as I wanted, but enough for them I guess.
You’re a reader and movie-watcher, I can see. Sometimes those stories and characters and quotes keep us going. “Stories like that make a boy grow bold, stories like that make a man walk straight.” —Rich Mullins
Have you tried inderal? It has literally saved my life from anxiety. I've been taking a very small dose -- 10 mg 2-3x/day since I was 18 and am now 54. That is such a small dose, it was safe to take it even during pregnancy. Now my 14-year-old daughter is taking it, and it is saving her life as well. Makes me feel like a person again.
No, I have not. I have only been given sedatives that act for about 2-1/2 hours, and just make me feel drugged, not better at all. I have a lot of health issues and maybe that's why the doctor has not suggested it.
Never heard of it. My Dr. Gives me Xanax. I'm afraid of becoming addicted to it so I suffer nervously most of time and take it to ward off panic attacks
I am also very cautious about problems with Benzos. Anyway I never stopped suffering because I did take them. Only got very drugged. For a very short while, then BANG back to full-on horror.
Have you made absolutely certain there is no physical cause and by certain I mean more than one Doc. I had a similar situation. Everyday the stomach pain, eating to feel better which eventually turned to nausea. I had six bleeding ulcers, bleeding for more than a year on and off. The Doc we had for years dismissed it as me being depressed and suggested anti depressants. They were really crappy back then and I never had any luck with them anyway. I ended up at a hospital bleeding to death. I went to a hospital my old Doc had no priviledges at. I thought it was me but it was my body's way of saying you are sick. I had all of your symptoms and even though coming back from that was hard. Nothing was as hard as those feelings. I made it back...I was there to help my Mom through cancer and got a great job and after my Mom passed I got married and had a kid. I had to work hard to get back but just knowing the cause was as much physical as emotional encouraged me. Keep in mind the things you are feeling should be dealt with. Therapy is so important. If you have not yet looked for a physical cause please do. You are worth it and the way you get better does not matter. get help and listen to these great people here. They care and will stand beside you no matter what! Lie can be good but you have to work for it...please do...you are important!
I am sorry I have been absent but I stronly urge you to get this checked out. I had one Doctor tell me I wasa hypochondriac and I didn't ever follow through. I ended up in the ER in critical condition because I almost bled to death. Finding the causeand getting it fixed is critical. I am worrying about you and thinking of you. Please talk to a Doc...fo this an endocrinolgist or gastroentoligist don't let your self get to where you are critical...I am sending good thoughts you way...sorry it took so long.
I agree that therapy and a good psychiatrist will work with and help you. The group of people on this site are very helpful and caring. Please stay tuned in with this group. God Bless.
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So much depression in waves 
I feel so lonely, tired and depressed. 
Why are so many of us depressed and sad?
I'm so tired. Of this. Depression. I know I'm supposed to be strong but I don't know if I can be
So lonely and depressed 
