I've realised I am always going to be an afraid soul. I am scared of everything. I was talking to my mom two days ago about what should I do with my life and I was considering to have my old plans back (go to France) but last night I was thinking too much of it and I am scared. I'm scared of being so far away from my family and then keep feeling like I am right now. That would be a strong hit.
Also I thought I would like to go to Ireland. I would feel more confident cos I know the place but I feel can't do it cos my ex lives there and obvs everybody would think I'm there for him and not because I wanted for myself. It makes me sad that I cannot go to a country because one person, even though there are other cities I see my life in Cork, where this man lives. I know the city perfectly and know how all works.
I don't want to stay in Mexico because due my career I need to be in touch with different languages and Veracruz brings me back old and sad memories
I feel I'm wasting my time but it's hard to make a decision with this emotional state. I'm afraid of making a mistake again.