Crazy

[ColdJellyFish]

Hello! My boyfriend introduced me to this website. This is my first post. I like writing about how I feel, however, I tend to dig too deep into my thoughts and upsetting myself more. Maybe that is a sign that I am ignoring them too much. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I've got the normal horrible childhood story, but I won't get into that.

I guess the reason I created an account was to share some of the concerns I have been having with myself lately. In April or May (can't quite remember) I spent a week in a mental hospital after a suicide attempt. I was all about improving myself after that. It really opened up my eyes and realized that I wanted to live. It was okay for a while, but it just keeps going down hill. I almost want to go back, but I can't afford it. Life is just too crazy. There is so much going on. Money is short and bills are high. Every time I seem to have things figured out, something comes along and blows it all up. Anyways, I guess I'm here to more talk about my feelings with my depression and anxiety.

I am slowly losing the will to live again. People always tell me that everything will be okay, but I have been told that for years and years without it ever being okay. I will never be okay. My brain is always messed up and it always will be. I don't have any hope anymore that I will ever feel complete happiness or get better. I've tried medicine, music, writing, meditation, light therapy, and other things. What do I have to do? I just want to quit.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I feel like I am going crazy. I will post more details in other posts to break everything up some. There is too many things to talk about.

[Itsme21]

Have you tried speaking with a therapist? My sister struggles with bad depression and she says it helps to talk about things

[ColdJellyFish in reply to Itsme21]

I have everything to make an appointment. I just don't. Every time I go to do it, I get too nervous to talk on the phone and don't do it. I want and need to, but I just can't get myself to do it.

[Itsme21 in reply to ColdJellyFish]

When I start to get too nervous about doing something, I constantly tell myself over and over, it’s not a big deal and I can do this. Eventually it seems to work for me. If making the call is what’s making it hard for you too, maybe have someone make an appointment for you

[melantha in reply to ColdJellyFish]

Making an appointment to see a therapist is definitely the way to go. It took me a long time to pull together the courage to make the phone call as well, but I knew that I needed to and am glad that I finally did. At least now I can say that I’m trying. I’ve been this way so long that it doesn’t feel like it could ever change, but I know I have to at least try.

[Hidden]

Hello, so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing. Reading your 2 posts, I think you will find many people on this site can identify with what you are experiencing and will be able to share some thoughts on how best to move forward. You are not alone. The main thing to understand is, firstly, no, you are not 'crazy', you are unwell and, secondly, while everyone is different, there are proven and successful treatments for this illness, although there is no quick fix. Your doctor should be able to advise on whether medication is appropropriate and which one, or which combination. Therapy helps too but again finding the right therapy/ therapist for you is important. Apart from that, looking at all aspects of your life and making small changes all round can be beneficial, not just diet, exercise, work but all aspects. Please don't think things won't or can't improve, be patient and be kind to yourself. Take care,

[tamka38]

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

“Life is difficult,as soon as you are going to accept this as a matter of fact .

“You will never get everything in life but you will get enough.”

“Today is a gift. “Forgiveness is the subjective and fertile ground the acorn falls upon.

when gifted to ourselves and others.” “There is no excuse good enough to ever be out of alignment with love.

Your freedom to design it beautifully. With each rise of the sun, you get to chase the opportunity to fill your days with ...

The purpose of life is not to be happy all the time. “Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb.

If you combine a firm foundation with your ability to bounce back with skill, .... Sometimes you need to smile before you feel ...

“If you are depressed, you live in the past. If you are anxious, you live in the future… If you are happy*… You live in the present.

So commit to loving yourself, even when you don't succeed in fully loving yourself. Beating yourself up in order to get yourself

To love yourself only creates more self hate. Self hate never leads to self love. Beating yourself up in order to get yourself to improve more quickly actually slows you down.

So often we wonder why the Universe isn't giving us what we have been asking for - we forget that gratitude is part of this cycle. And it's so profound ...

Be Grateful for every second of every day that you get to spend with the people you love. Life is so very precious.

Sending u a hug 🤗 And am here for u and please keep reaching out for help. When u need to. We all is fighting this battle together. And we all have a story to tell

Good luck 🍀🙌🏾💙🦋🌹🎄☃️🌺💪🏽

[puglove0093]

I read someone else comment if you'd gone to a counselor, and I saw you said you get too nervous. I totally understand this! It seems so easy, but it can be so difficult. I hope you are able to try; I am praying for you! Do you have someone close that is good to talk to?

[Sensativesoul]

Sending love and light. I hope being here that you see you are not alone and there are ways out. This is really beginning to help me and u don't have to live local to do myoptimalbrain.com/

I wake up feeling not so doomed after 9 sessions. Still away to go, but can see a shift for sure. Be well